What I've Been Watching

Death: The High Cost of Blogging

2009-05-01T18:34:00.003-04:00

The end is near for What I've Been Watching. Actually, it's already here. Considering my heinous neglect of this blog as of late, I've decided to just let the poor thing die. I'm going to leave this site here because it's got links to all of my past reviews, but I'll no longer be posting here. I will still be writing the odd movie review and plenty of other bullshit on my new blog though, so why not click on the banner below and see what's happening over at:

Movies I Missed in 2008: Part 2

2009-03-22T04:45:00.001-04:00

Despite my best efforts, I didn't quite manage to see all of the films released in 2008 that I wanted to before the beginning of 2009. As the year progresses, I'm making an effort from time to time to quickly note the titles I've been catching up with. Here's a list of What I've Been Watching lately.

Total number of movies released in 2008 that I have seen as of the writing of this post: 93

Body Of Lies
If you know me you'll be aware that I don't hold Ridley Scott on too high a pedestal. True, Alien is one of my favorite films, but aside from that and Black Hawk Down, I've found his catalog of films to be rather bland. The same goes for Body of Lies. I'm a big fan of Leonardo DiCaprio and I enjoy Russell Crowe, but this film just kind of stagnated on the screen. It wasn't really boring or confusing, but it didn't leave any real impression on me. It was just middle of the road.

Seven Pounds
I had no idea what Seven Pounds was about when I sat down to watch it because the trailers were so ambiguous, which made it kind of exciting. Unfortunately, the twist (if you want to call it that) becomes apparent rather quickly. This didn't necessarily hurt the film, but it took the wind out of it's sails a bit. Will Smith and Rosario Dawson are both great and the direction is really good. This isn't a film that I'm dying to watch again right away, but it was certainly better than I expected it to be.

Sukiyaki Western Django
This movie is an interesting mix of American, Italian, and Asian cultures. It is a spaghetti western starring (nearly) all Asian actors who spend the entire film poorly speaking English. The mixture of modern and antiquated styles and sensibilities almost serves to make the film timeless. Seeing Quentin Tarantino ham it up as an egg-chomping gunfighter was kind of entertaining, and spotting all of the obvious nods to old Westerns (namely Django) was fun, but in the end I felt a bit disappointed. All in all, it made for an interesting experiment in the art of genre-bending, but while sometimes interesting, Sukiyaki Western Django was just too all over the place to be truly satisfying.

Milk
Now that I've seen this film, I no longer wonder how the Academy decided to give their Best Actor award to Sean Penn rather than Mickey Rourke last year. I haven't watched a whole lot of Gus Van Sant's movies, but this is by far the best example of his work that I've seen. Milk is just a damn fine film. It told an inspiring story and had no hang-ups in doing so. The inserted stock footage from the 70's fit into place perfectly, the music was solid, James Franco was great, as were Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, and everyone else...I can't think of anything bad to say about it. This movie really feels like an instant classic.

Sex Drive
I had written this movie off as a second rate Superbad when in reality I ended up enjoying it just as much as said 2007 comedy. Rating movies can be really hard sometimes. In this same post I gave Milk a five star rating and now I appear to be giving Sex Drive the same distinction. All I can say is that I'm giving this film such a good score for the same reason that I'd give American Pie a perfect rating: they both make me laugh way more than most movies. Sex Drive is a teen sex romp road trip movie which may not seem all that special (and probably isn't), but I had a blast watching it. James Marsden was hilarious in this movie. I sincerely think it's the best performance I've seen from him. Josh Zuckerman and Clark Duke are both funny and likable and Amanda Crew is extremely cute. This is really going nowhere. No amount of explanation is probably going to justify why I liked this movie so much, but there you go. Oh yeah, and Seth Green was probably funnier in this movie than I've ever seen him before, too. Good stuff.

To read about the rest of the movies released in 2008 which I've seen, check out the following posts:

What I've Been Watching In 2008: A Year In Review(s)

Movies I Mised in 2008: Part 1

Watching The Watchmen

2009-03-12T19:46:00.000-04:00

So, I went out and saw the Watchmen movie in IMAX on opening night, but not before re-reading the graphic novel for the first time since probably around 1999 or 2000. I was fully prepared to exit the theater thinking, "the best thing about that movie was that it got me to read the comic again." As it turns out, I really enjoyed the film (though it was nice to sit down and read the comic again, too).

The movie and the comic book are so similar in so many ways and so different in so many others that trying to compare the two seemingly becomes a battle between the two sides of my brain. For that reason, I'm not going to do a direct comparison review between the book and the movie. I'm also not going to do a straight-up review of the movie with a plot synopsis, review, and re-cap like I've been known to do. Instead, I'm just going to scrape the surface of my brain and throw down a bulleted list of some of my overall thoughts on the film, both good and bad.

**MINOR SPOILERS BELOW**

- I thought that Patrick Wilson, Jackie Earl Haley, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan were perfect for their roles as Nite Owl, Rorschach, and The Comedian respectively.

- Malin Akerman was surprisingly better than I had expected her to be as Silk Spectre, but she still wasn't perfect for the role in my opinion. Sometimes she seemed much more phony than some of her cast-mates, and honestly I didn't think she looked old enough. The heroes in the movie are supposed to be retired and past their prime, but Malin Akerman looked like a hot college student.

- I was a bit disappointed in Dr. Manhattan. There are two main reasons for this. First and foremost, he just looked fake to me. His movements were stiff and he was just too obviously CG. I've felt this way ever since I first saw him in the trailers, but I assumed that the effects were unfinished at that point. I was disappointed to see that he didn't look any better in the actual movie. Second, though I like Billy Crudup, I didn't feel that his voice fit the character. This may just be me, but in my mind when I read Watchmen, Dr. Manhattan has a deeper, stronger voice. It didn't feel right to me that there was a glowing blue man floating around with the powers of a god who had such a soft, meek-sounding voice.

- I didn't mind Dr. Manhattan's penis at all and thought that it was done tastefully. I don't understand why some people have such a big problem with it. I don't recall hearing anyone complaining about Silk Spectre's nude scenes, so what's wrong with a glowing blue dick?

- My problems with Dr. Manhattan aside, I thought that all of the special effects looked great.

- I often found the film's soundtrack distracting. Existing songs are often used to great effect in film, but there was way too much licensed music in Watchmen for my taste. Essentially every time a new scene or an important moment began, I suddenly found myself thinking about the song that was playing rather than what was going on onscreen.

- I found most of the "superheroes" in the movie to be too super. In the comic the only two characters with actual superhuman abilities are Dr. Manhattan and Ozymandias. In the movie the same may be true, but whenever The Comedian, Rorschach, Nite Owl, or Silk Spectre II were in a fight scene they seemed as though they had super strength and agility. I understand that having been trained to fight as heroes would make them more capable in a fight than the common street tough or prison inmate who they went up against, but they simply seemed to demolish everyone they fought too easily. Comedian punching through walls with ease and Nite Owl flipping his opponents through the air as though he were in a kung-fu film rang false to me. This is one aspect of the Watchmen movie that I think suffered from Zak Snyder's over-the-top directorial style.

- As far as the running time is concerned, I've always felt that a movie should be as long as the director thinks it should be. I didn't mind that the theatrical version of Watchmen flirted with the three hour mark because I was enthralled by the story the entire time, and when the extended director's cut comes out I'll gladly sit through it regardless of the length.

**MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW**

- I liked the ending of the film. Despite the comic's greatness, the giant squid is the one thing that I never really thought would translate properly to the screen. What they ended up doing not only made good sense, but didn't cause any unpleasant waves that greatly affected the rest of the story in a bad way.

- Matthew Goode seems like a capable enough actor, but I didn't really care for his portrayal of Ozymandias. I'm sure that this is the fault of the writers and director as much as anyone, but he didn't really seem like the Ozymandias from the comic at all. In the book Adrian Veidt is perhaps the nicest, most calm and collected of of all of the characters. Sure, he turns out to be the "villain", but even while he's fighting (and in some cases attempting to kill) the other characters he always seems level-headed and caring, which is one of the things about his personality that makes him so interesting. In the movie he always came off as a brooding bad guy in every scene he was in. Even during the trailers and clips released to promote the movie I couldn't help but feel that if I didn't already know that he was the Comedian's killer I would have been able to tell just by looking at his expressions and body language in those short scenes.

- While there are plenty of plot lines and side stories in the Watchmen comics which were left out of the film, there are only two which I really missed. First, I'd have liked to see more of the prison psychologist's story. In the comic his character is fully fleshed out with his own life and set of problems, but in the movie his role is essentially trimmed back to one scene. Likewise, I wish there had been a bit more in the film dealing with the news vendor and the kid reading the Tales of the Black Freighter comic book. I know that Tales of the Black Freighter has seen it's own animated DVD release and I've heard that Zak Snyder is planning to incorporate that film into a director's cut of Watchmen itself, which leads me to believe that there is indeed more footage out there of the vendor and the kid which will be seen eventually, but to merely put those characters in the film for a few moments before they die and rob us of the rest of their scenes (or indeed any other scenes with them) was pretty bad in my opinion. Also, cutting out so much of the news vendor's scenes made it feel like an afterthought that Rorschach decided to leave his journal to the New Frontiersman.

Movies I Missed in 2008: Part 1

2009-03-03T04:45:00.004-05:00

Despite my best efforts, I didn't quite manage to see all of the films released in 2008 that I wanted to before the beginning of 2009. As the year progresses, I'll make an effort from time to time to quickly note the titles I've been catching up with. Here's a list of What I've Been Watching lately.

Total number of movies released in 2008 that I have seen as of the writing of this post: 88

Changeling
Clint Eastwood is a machine! Not only does he have an impressive track record of directing quality films, but he also somehow manages to do so incredibly quickly. Between this film and Gran Torino, I'd say that 2008 was a very good year for Eastwood. The entire cast is great, I never lost interest once despite the nearly two and a half hour running time, and knowing that the events depicted in the movie really happened should have your eyes glued to the screen to see what happens next.

Igor
If a computer generated film is going to come out alongside titles as impressive as Wall-E and Kung Fu Panda and dare to sport sub-par animation, it had better damn well have a good story to make up for it. Such is not the case with Igor. The plot is boring and clichéd, and the visuals were simply unimpressive. Not to mention, the voice acting was extremely weak. What's the point of paying well known celebrities to voice your characters if the celebrities in question (with the exception of Steve Buscemi) don't sound interesting at all?

Quarantine
Think Cloverfield on a smaller scale and you've essentially got the idea behind Quarantine. While I think that Cloverfield was overall a better film, Quarantine certainly packed a punch. This is one of the scariest movies I've seen in a while and it had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. I can only hope that the original, Spanish-language film REC, which served as inspiration for Quarantine, will be released on Region 1 DVD soon as those who have seen it seem to prefer it to this one.

CJ7
This film has a touching story and some genuinely funny moments, but it is clearly and obviously meant for children. I can't fault the film for this, but I was a little let down by the plot. Whether it's simply dumbed down because it's a kids' movie or there were some flaws in the translation to English, CJ7 often seemed to go places that didn't quite make sense and left me a bit confused. Still, it's not an unpleasant film to watch.

W.
Considering how little I pay attention to, am familiar with, or care about politics, I wasn't really expecting to enjoy this film. A week or two removed from having seen it, I've come to realize that W isn't doing a great job of sticking with me, but I do recall feeling very satisfied once I'd finished watching it. Josh Brolin was great, Thandie Newton was attrocious, and everyone else was just fine.

Chocolate
This film has a fun premise and never really tries to be something it's not, which is what allows it to be so entertaining as an action film. The techniques and abilities displayed by the main character (a rather young girl for a professional martial artist) are certainly impressive, but I couldn't help but feel that her physical performance wasn't quite good enough to be carrying an entire movie just yet. In a few years I have no doubt that she'll be able to be a bankable action star, but for right now it was just kind of neat to see her bend over backwards and slide under a small glass table.

To read about the rest of the movies released in 2008 which I've seen, check out: What I've Been Watching In 2008: A Year In Review(s)

My Top 5 Man-Crushes

2009-02-25T04:00:00.001-05:00

"Man Crush: When a guy loves another guy dearly, but not queerly."

Every guy has them. I don't care how manly you think you are, there are either actors or characters they've portrayed who you've fallen head over heels for...in a completely hetero way. Dudes who are just too cool. You want to be their friend onscreen or offscreen or both. There are a ton of actors I like and preformances I've been impressed by, but these are the guys I wish I were elite enough to hang out with.

#5.) Kurt Russell

Where We First Met: Stargate

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As R.J. MacReady in John Carpenter's The Thing, Kurt devises a plan to test which of his fellow residents of an Antarctic research outpost are infected by alien DNA by placing a piece of heated copper wire into a sample of blood from each man. With his friends and co-workers tied to a couch, R.J. announces that as an act of good faith he will test his own blood first. Having heated the copper wire, and with the frightened, judging eyes of the other men glued firmly to him, R.J. hesitantly and worriedly pauses for a split second before testing his own fate.

Fondest Memories: John Carpenter's The Thing, Big Trouble In Little China, Death Proof, Breakdown

#4.) Shia Labeouf

Where We First Met: The Battle of Shaker Heights

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As Kale Brecht in Disturbia, Shia becomes jealous when Ashley, the girl he's got a major crush on, holds a loud party next door which he can't attend because he's under house arrest a few mere feet away. Kale tries to ignore the music and laughter from next door but eventually cracks under the pressure and peeks outside to see other guys obviously hitting on Ashley. Making a fool of himself by playing obnoxiously loud romantic music to drown out the noise of the party, Kale is confronted by an annoyed Ashley before giving an incredibly cheesy monologue about how he's been watching her through his windows since she moved in, which ranges from creepy to romantic, after which the music (Don't Make Me Wait by This World Fair) swells and the two characters finally kiss.

Fondest Memories: Disturbia, Eagle Eye, A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints

#3.) Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Where We First Met: 3rd Rock From The Sun

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As Brendan Frye in Brick, a crime noir about high school students, Joseph is trying to solve the mystery behind the recent murder of his ex-girlfriend whom he still very much loves. After sticking his nose a few places where it didn't belong, Brendan is confronted outside of his school by an adversary much larger than him. Choosing flight over fight, Brendan manages to get a brief lead on his attacker before rounding a corner, dropping to the floor, and removing his shoes so that his assailant won't hear him coming. Immediately he is back on his feet and rushing back toward the corner he'd just turned before using expert timing to slide out from behind said corner and trip his pursuer, who, for reasons you'll have to see the movie for yourself to discover, surely ends up wishing that he hadn't picked this particular fight.

Fondest Memories: Brick, The Lookout

#2.) Clint Eastwood

Where We First Met: In The Line Of Fire

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As the man with no name in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Clint and a sometimes lovable, sometimes despicable outlaw named Tuco (who refers to him as Blondie) have somehow survived numerous run-ins with gunslingers, a full-on Civil War battle, and each other long enough to reach a cemetery where $200,000 worth of gold is rumored to be buried. With the only thing left for the men to do to claim the riches for their own being the act of digging up a specific grave, Blondie tosses Tuco a shovel. After Tuco asks why Blondie doesn't have a shovel of his own, he replies "You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig." Pause for dramatic effect... "You dig."

Fondest Memories: A Fistful of Dollars, For A Few Dollars More, The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly, The Outlaw Josey Wales, Unforgiven, Dirty Harry, Gran Torino

#1.) Jackie Chan

Where We First Met: Rumble In The Bronx

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As Kevin (aka Jackie) Chan in Police Story, Jackie has pursued a powerful drug lord named Chu Tao, who has a grudge against him, to a shopping mall. After having a lengthy knock-down, drag-out fight with several worthy opponents up and down escalators, through store displays, and amongst a veritable sea of broken glass, Jackie is tired and weakened by his injuries. Just when things seem as though they couldn't get any worse, he looks down from a fourth story balcony to see that on the ground level below him, Chu Tao has taken Jackie's girlfriend May hostage. Enraged beyond caring for his own personal well-being, Jackie leaps off of the balcony, sliding down a four story metal pole covered with decorative lights which shatter one after another as he rapidly approaches the floor below. At the bottom, Jackie quickly chases down Chu Tao, who lets May go out of fear. Despite the pleas of Chu Tao's lawyer and his own police chief, Jackie cannot restrain himself any longer and, in one of the most visceral scenes I've ever seen in a movie, gives Chu Tao the truly epic beating that he deserves.

Fondest Memories: Police Story, Police Story 2, Supercop, Rumble In The Bronx, Drunken Master, Legend of Drunken Master, Dragon Lord, The Young Master, Project A, Project A2, Armour of God (aka Operation Condor 2), Armour of God II (aka Operation Condor), Jackie Chan's First Strike

Honorable Mention: James Van Der Beek
as Sean Bateman in The Rules Of Attraction

"Rock and roll..."

What I'm Looking Forward To Watching In 2009

2009-02-22T17:50:00.009-05:00

9
Release Date: (9/9/09)
The Facts: A post-apocalyptic CG cyber-punk movie about little puppets who fight cat-like robots. Produced by Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted, Nightwatch, Daywatch) and Tim Burton, and starring the voice talents of Elijah Wood, John C. Reilly, Jennifer Connelly, and Crispin Glover.
Why I Wanna See It: It's a hard premise to make look good on paper, but the trailer looks amazing and the short film it's based upon was entertaining.

12 Rounds
Release Date: (3/27/09)
The Facts: A cat and mouse game in the vein of Die Hard With A Vengeance between a cop who's trying to save his wife and a recently released criminal he helped put away. Directed by Renny Harlin (Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Cliffhanger) and starring the WWE's John Cena.
Why I Wanna See It: Cena sucked in The Marine, but the trailer for this movie makes it look like a mindless 80's/early 90's explosion-fest, which was enough to catch my eye.

2012
Release Date: (11/13/09)
The Facts: A disaster film about the end of the world (presumably as predicted by the Mayan calendar based on the title) directed by Roland Emmerich (Stargate, Independence Day).
Why I Wanna See It: What can I say? I still enjoy some of Emmerich's older films and I had a good time watching 10,000 BC.

Astro Boy
Release Date: (10/23/09)
The Facts: Based on Osamu Tezuka's classic manga series about a super-powered robot designed to look like a young boy. Featuring the voice talent of Nicholas Cage, Kristen Bell, Donald Sutherland, Nathan Lane, and Bill Nighy.
Why I Wanna See It: I've never read any Astro Boy comics, but I like comic books, CG movies, and superheroes, so why not?

Avatar
Release Date: (12/18/09)
The Facts: Director James Cameron's (Aliens, The Terminator, T2, The Abyss, True Lies, Titanic) return to non-documentary filmmaking after a 12 year hiatus, to the action genre after a 15 year hiatus, and to the science fiction genre after an 18 year hiatus. The story involves a group of humans (including Sam Worthington, Michelle Rodriguez, Giovanni Ribisi, and Sigourney Weaver) who are forced to do battle with an alien species on a distant planet far in the future.
Why I Wanna See It: Considering that Aliens is my favorite film of all time and Avatar is not only James Cameron's return to the genre which he just about single-handedly invented, but also his reunion with Sigourney Weaver, this is easily my most anticipated movie of the year (if not the past decade).

Big Fan
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: A huge New York Giants fan (Patton Oswalt) is beaten up by his favorite player. Written and directed by the writer of The Wrestler: Robert D. Siegel.
Why I Wanna See It: I don't even know what genre this film is, but that basic premise sounds like a good springboard for a funny movie and I like Patton Oswalt.

Black Dynamite
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: A modern blaxploitation film starring Michael Jai White (Spawn) as the title character.
Why I Wanna See It: The trailer made this movie look hilarious and I like the fact that this film isn't only a parody of blaxploitation films, but also seems as though it's trying to literally be one of them.

The Box
Release Date: (11/6/09)
The Facts: A couple (James Marsden and Cameron Diaz) come into possession of a box which has the ability to grant them one million dollars. The catch is that if they choose to take the money it will cause someone they don't know to die. Directed by Richard Kelly.
Why I Wanna See It: I like Donnie Darko enough to forgive Richard Kelly for Southland Tales, and this premise sounds more along the lines of the former than the latter anyway.

The Brothers Bloom
Release Date: (5/29/09)
The Facts: Mark Ruffalo and Adrien Brody play con-men doing what they do best to a wealthy heiress played by Rachel Weisz. Directed by Rian Johnson.
Why I Wanna See It: I don't just want to see this movie because the director's name is spelled the same way as mine. I do want to see it because of the director, though. Rian Johnson's debut film Brick not only made me an immediate fan of his work, but also of it's star Joseph Gordon Levitt. I know next to nothing about The Brothers Bloom, but since Johnson wrote and directed it, my admission is essentially already bought and paid for.

Bruno
Release Date: (7/10/09)
The Facts: Sacha Baron Cohen is now hoping to do for Bruno (another of his characters from Da Ali G Show) what he did a for Borat a few years ago. Same premise, different main character.
Why I Wanna See It: I loved Da Ali G Show and really enjoyed Borat although with each viewing it seems to deliver diminishing returns. I'm just hoping that Bruno is even half as funny the first time I watch it as Borat was.

The Clone Returns Home
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: All I know about this movie is that it's Japanese and it must somehow involve cloning.
Why I Wanna See It: I heard the title and immediately became interested, but the plot summary on IMDb gives absolutely nothing away concerning the plot. I'll probably have to catch this on DVD late this year or early next year like I did with CJ7 or Chocolate.

Coraline
Release Date: (2/6/09)
The Facts: Based on a young adult book by novelist and on again/off again comic book writer Neil Gaiman, Coraline is a stop motion animated film from Henry Selick (The Nightmare Before Christmas) about a young girl who discovers another dimension in her new home which is accessible through a small door hidden behind the wallpaper. At first it seems like a fun place to visit, but she soon learns that it isn't a place she'd like to stay.
Why I Wanna See It: I absolutely love The Nightmare Before Christmas, so I was interested in this movie from the start because it's from the same director. The fact that it's written by Neil Gaiman doesn't hurt either, considering that Sandman is among his comic book writing credits. And if those two factors weren't enough, the movie is also being shown in 3D, which I've yet to experience in a feature film.

Dead Snow
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: Some skiers are attacked by Nazi zombies.
Why I Wanna See It: Nazi zombies! 'Nuff said.

Drag Me To Hell
Release Date: (5/29/09)
The Facts: A girl is cursed by an old woman and haunted by all manner of ghosts, demons, and other ghoulies in Sam Raimi's (Evil Dead, Spiderman) long-awaited return to the horror genre.
Why I Wanna See It: I love all three Spiderman films and am excited to see Raimi return to the director's chair for the rumored fourth and fifth installments of the series, but I think that anyone who is truly a fan of his movies has been dying to see him make a new horror film since he wrapped up the Evil Dead franchise with Army of Darkness back in 1992.

Dragonball: Evolution
Release Date: (10/9/09)
The Facts: Based on Akira Toriyama's megahit manga/anime franchise Dragonball Z, this film will follow Goku (Justin Chatwin) as he trains to be a great fighter and attempts to collect and protect all seven of the fabled, all-powerful Dragonballs before his enemies (namely Piccolo) can get their hands on them.
Why I Wanna See It: Everyone is shitting all over this movie already because it doesn't look a thing like the Dragonball manga or anime, but I'm still willing to give it a chance. I used to casually watch the show, so I'm interested to see what they do with it in a live-action setting.

The Expendables
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: Sylvester Stallone's action-packed directorial follow-up to last year's Rambo will star Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Sandra Bullock, Mickey Rourke, Ben Kingsley, Forest Whitaker, Steve Austin, and Stallone himself. Does the plot really matter?
Why I Wanna See It: Rambo was a badass movie and there's just no way I could pass up a film with a cast like the one The Expendables has managed to amass.

Fantastic Mr. Fox
Release Date: (11/6/09)
The Facts: A town takes action against a fox who has been preying upon their chickens in this film based upon a book by Roald Dahl. Directed by Wes Anderson and featuring the voice talent of Bill Murray and George Clooney, I've heard that this film will be animated with stop-motion.
Why I Wanna See It: I've been interested in this film since I first heard about it because Wes Anderson's films may not always be my favorites, but tend to be interesting nonetheless. If the rumors that it will be stop-motion are true, my interest will be immediately doubled.

Fast & Furious
Release Date: (4/3/09)
The Facts: The original The Fast & The Furious cast of Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, and Michelle Rodriguez re-unite for more mindless action, sweaty midriffs, and wacky car races.
Why I Wanna See It: Back when The Fast & The Furious came out I was talked into seeing the movie because someone else bought my ticket, and I guess my low expectations combined with Jordana Brewster's hotness allowed me to really have a good time watching it. The last two sequels haven't interested me at all, but the return of the original cast and the crazy, balls-out trailer for this confusingly-named film have grabbed my attention.

G.I.Joe: Rise of the Cobra
Release Date: (8/7/09)
The Facts: Based on the 80's cartoon and 3 & 3/4" toy line, G.I.Joe will presumably update the terrorist fighting U.S. military task force for the new millennium, though all the usual suspects will be present including Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and Cobra Commander (Joseph Gordon Levitt).
Why I Wanna See It: When I was a kid G.I.Joe was my favorite TV show aside from Ghostbusters, but even if that wasn't enough to make me want to see this movie, all I needed to hear was "Joseph Gordon Levitt as Cobra Commander".

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
Release Date: (9/25/08)
The Facts: Director Terry Gilliam brings us a story about a traveling theater group which will most likely be as visually incredible as some of his previous works. Starring Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Colin Farrell, and the final performance of Heath Ledger.
Why I Wanna See It: I've enjoyed enough Terry Gilliam films that he'll always be on my radar. Also, the cast is pretty impressive.

Inglorious Bastards
Release Date: (8/21/09)
The Facts: Quentin Tarantino's new World War II period film features Brad Pitt as the leader of a small group of Allied soldiers saddled with the task of making their way through Nazi-occupied territory brutally murdering every Nazi in their path.
Why I Wanna See It: I shall forever be compelled to watch every single movie directed by Quentin Tarantino. I like Brad Pitt, too.

Kick-Ass
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: A high school kid decides to become the world's first real superhero by donning a garish costume and picking fights with some people that he probably shouldn't. Matthew Vaughn directs based on a comic book by Mark Millar (Wanted) and John Romita Jr. (Spiderman, Daredevil, etc.).
Why I Wanna See It: Y'know, I don't really care for this comic all that much, but it is an interesting premise. I guess that I'm hoping some things are changed for the better the in film adaptation so that I may end up liking it despite Nicolas Cage's involvement.

Killshot
Release Date: (1/23/09)
The Facts: Having been completed in 2006, this film based on an Elmore Leonard novel about a couple (Diane Lane & Thomas Jane) in witness protection being pursued by two hitmen (Mickey Rourke & Joseph Gordon Levitt) is finally getting a release (albeit a limited one).
Why I Wanna See It: Outside of 2007's 3:10 To Yuma, I've yet to truly enjoy a film based on the works of Elmore Leonard, but this plot sounds right up my alley. Also, as with G.I.Joe: Rise of the Cobra, Joseph Gordon Levitt's involvement is reason enough for me to be interested.

Knowing
Release Date: (3/20/09)
The Facts: A man (Nicolas Cage) begins to think that he can predict horrible catastrophes after his son brings home a piece of paper filled with code which he finds in a time capsule at school. From there the plot seems to delve further into science fiction, with perhaps even an apocalyptic outcome. Alex Proyas (Dark City) directs.
Why I Wanna See It: At first I thought this movie looked horrible. However, after seeing a new trailer which lets the audience in on a bit more of the story, I must say that I'm intrigued. Nic Cage's involvement doesn't do a whole lot for my expectations, but Alex Proyas' gives me a glimmer of hope.

Moon
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: Something goes very wrong on the moon base inhabited by a lone employee (Sam Rockwell) of a mining company who is scheduled to return to Earth from his solitary shift on the lunar surface.
Why I Wanna See It: I like science fiction and I like Sam Rockwell. There's not much more to it than that.

Mystery Team
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: A group of former child detectives attempts to solve a decidedly adult crime.
Why I Wanna See It: Sounds like a dark comedy take on Scooby Doo, which is intriguing.

Next Day Air
Release Date: (5/8/09)
The Facts: A delivery man unwittingly leaves a package containing a large amount of cocaine on the wrong doorstep and a battle of wits ensues between all parties involved to right the situation. Donald Faison, Mos Def, and Mike Epps star.
Why I Wanna See It: I saw the trailer for this film and immediately felt a resemblance to the Guy Ritchie style of comedies of errors. Also, ever since 16 Blocks and Be Kind Rewind I've been a fan of Mos Def.

Outlander
Release Date: (1/23/09)
The Facts: A futuristic spaceship carrying a lone astronaut (James Caviezel) crash lands on Earth circa medieval times in pursuit of a bloodthirsty dragon-like alien creature. The spaceman must convince the locals (Ron Perlman and John Hurt included) that the creature is indeed a dragon so that they will aid him in tracking down and killing it before it can do any further damage.
Why I Wanna See It: No one else who I tell the premise of this movie to seems to find it all that interesting, but I think it sounds badass. Space dragon? Hell yes!

Push
Release Date: (2/6/09)
The Facts: A rag-tag group of super-powered individuals must work together to save one their own and escape the clutches of a government organization which aims to use them as weapons.
Why I Wanna See It: This premise is nothing new, but the fact that it's an original story about people with inhuman abilities which isn't associated with a pre-existing comic book interests me in the same way that Jumper did last year.

The Road
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: A man (Viggo Mortensen) and his son attempt to survive as they trek across the charred wasteland of a post-apocalyptic world. Based on a book by Cormac McCarthy.
Why I Wanna See It: I've never read any of Cormac McCarthy's books, but if one could inspire a film as amazing as No Country For Old Men, you'd better believe that I'll be checking out the next film based on one of his works.

A Serious Man
Release Date: (10/2/09)
The Facts: The synopsis' I've read for this film don't make a whole lot of sense, so I'll just say that it's directed by the Coen brothers.
Why I Wanna See It: I don't love all of their movies, but the Coen brothers have made enough masterpieces that I'll shell out the admission price for any film they make.

Sherlock Holmes
Release Date: (11/13/09)
The Facts:The classic literary figure as portrayed by Robert Downey Jr. under the direction of Guy Ritchie.
Why I Wanna See It: Guy Ritchie is easily one of my favorite directors, so why shouldn't I be excited to see him working with Robert Downey Jr.?

Shutter Island
Release Date: (10/2/09)
The Facts: A U.S. Marshal played by Leonardo DiCaprio is in pursuit of a maniacal female killer who has escaped from a mental institution. Martin Scorcese directs and Max Von Sydow, Ben Kingsley, and Mark Ruffalo co-star.
Why I Wanna See It: Martin Scorcese plus Leonardo DiCaprio equals me being very excited. But then again, who doesn't that equation work for?

Star Trek
Release Date: (5/8/00)
The Facts: The classic science fiction franchise is re-imagined by one of the masterminds behind LOST and Cloverfield: J.J. Abrams.
Why I Wanna See It: I've never much cared for Star Trek, but based on the trailers, J.J. Abrams' version looks like something that I might actually enjoy. Also, I can't wait to see Simon Pegg as Scotty.

Suburbicon
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: Literally all I know about this film is that the Coen brothers are behind it.
Why I Wanna See It: As I mentioned in reference to A Serious Man, the brothers Coen are enough incentive for me to drop 10 bucks at the theater regardless of the subject matter of their movies.

The Surrogates
Release Date: (9/25/09)
The Facts: In a futuristic society where robots called Surrogates act as the sole form of law enforcement, a human police officer must come out of retirement to solve a series of crimes being committed by the synthetic cops.
Why I Wanna See It: Whether I was consciously aware of it or not, I think I've always wanted to see Bruce Willis in a comic book movie. Unbreakable was up that alley, but until Erik Larsen gets his wish and Willis dons the green fin in a Savage Dragon film, I guess this will have to do.

The Taking of Pelham 123
Release Date: (6/12/09)
The Facts: A New York Subway dispatcher (Denzel Washington) becomes a makeshift hostage negotiator when one of his trains is hijacked by a small group of criminals (led by John Travolta). Tony Scott directs this remake of a 1974 film starring Walter Matthau.
Why I Wanna See It: I recently saw the original version of The Taking of Pelham 123 and enjoyed it quite a bit. I'm not particularly crazy about Scott, Travolta, or Washington, but I am interested in seeing how this film stacks up to the original.

Terminator: Salvation
Release Date: (5/22/09)
The Facts: Now that the machines have taken over, the true conflict begins between John Conner (Christian Bale) and the deadly robots which have plagued his existence since before he existed. McG directs and Helena Bonham Carter, Sam Worthington, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Roland Kickinger co-star.
Why I Wanna See It: The first two Terminator films are amazing enough that I'd be hard-pressed not to check out any sequels they may spawn (though I've avoided The Sarah Conner Chronicles like the plague). Not to mention, Christian Bale is one of the best actors working today, and I hold no grudge against McG like most people seem to. I actually like the first Charlie's Angels film (so sue me!).

This Side of the Truth
Release Date: (?/?/??)
The Facts: Co-written and directed by Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson, this film takes place in a world where nobody has ever lied and examines what happens when someone finally does. The cast includes Gervais himself along with Jennifer Garner, Jonah Hill, Patrick Stewart, Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Christopher Guest, Jeffrey Tambor, Rob Lowe, and Louis C.K.
Why I Wanna See It: Honestly, I just don't see how you can go wrong with a cast that massive and impressive. Gervais alone would have sold me, but I'd say this film has plenty of feet to stand on.

Toy Story in 3D
Release Date: (10/2/09)
The Facts: Pixar's first film gets the 3D treatment in this theatrical re-release leading up to next years debut of the third film in the series.
Why I Wanna See It: I saw Toy Story in the theater when it first came out and I've watched it over and over again on VHS and DVD over the years, but I'll still pay to see it on the big screen again. I love Toy Story and I'm interested to see what the 3D element will bring to the table.

UP
Release Date: (5/29/09)
The Facts: In Pixar's latest CG all-ages film, an elderly man, accompanied by a local boy scout, fulfills his wife's dying wish of traveling to a foreign land by lifting his entire house into the air with a menagerie of balloons.
Why I Wanna See It: While the premise alone doesn't immediately spell "classic" to me, Pixar has earned my trust so many times over that I would pay to see a movie called "Rian Miller Of Union Bridge, Maryland Is An Asshole, And In This Movie He's Brutally And Repeatedly Raped By Rabid Gophers" without a second thought so long as they were producing it.

Watchmen
Release Date: (3/6/09)
The Facts: In an alternate 1985, after one of the Watchmen (a retired group of superheroes) is killed, an unofficial investigation begins by some of his former teammates to find out whodunnit and why. This synopsis only scratches the surface of the story, but that's the base premise. Zak Snyder (300) directs.
Why I Wanna See It: Watchmen isn't my favorite comic, but I recognize it's greatness. I was skeptical about this film from the beginning, but the more I see/hear about it, the more I'm intrigued.

Where The Wild Things Are
Release Date: (10/16/09)
The Facts: Based on a classic children's book, a young boy sent to bed without his dinner creates a fantasy world filled with magnificent creatures.
Why I Wanna See It: More than anything, I'm just curious to see what kind of wacky visuals this movie's going to bring to the screen.

Whiteout
Release Date: (9/11/09)
The Facts: A U.S. Marshal (Kate Beckinsale) tracks a serial killer at a research station in Antarctica.
Why I Wanna See It: I quite liked the comic book that this movie is based upon and I think it will work well as suspense thriller.

The Wolf Man
Release Date: (11/6/09)
The Facts: It's all in the title. Benicio Del Toro stars and Joe Johnston (The Rocketeer) directs.
Why I Wanna See It: I've never been a huge fan of werewolves, but I do enjoy a good update of a classic character or franchise like this every now and then. I'm most interested to see the transformation scenes. They're always fun.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Release Date: (5/1/09)
The Facts: Everyone's favorite character from the X-Men comic book and film franchise gets his own movie. Wolverine's (Hugh Jackman) back story is told leading up to a conflict between he and a group of mutants working for the people who both stole his memory and gave him his adamantium skeleton. Gavin Hood (Rendition) directs and Liev Schreiber, Ryan Reynolds, Dominic Monaghan, and Kevin Durand co-star.
Why I Wanna See It: I've always been a fan of Wolverine and the X-Men in general. Add to the equation that Liev Schreiber is playing Sabertooth and I really can't wait to see this film.

The Year One
Release Date: (6/19/09)
The Facts: A pair of primitive men (Jack Black and Michael Cera) are banished from their village and set off on an adventure. Along the way they encounter numerous historic and biblical figures. Co-starring David Cross, Hank Azaria, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Paul Rudd, and Vinnie Jones, and directed by Harold (Egon Spengler) Ramis.
Why I Wanna See It: Back when I first heard about this movie I didn't really know anything about it aside from the creative talent involved, and that hasn't changed much over time. I'm just really excited to see what Harold Ramis can do with a cast like the one he's rounded up.

What I've Been Watching In 2008: The Year In Review(s)

2009-02-15T14:47:00.006-05:00

It's that time of year again when all us bloggers tell everyone what we thought about the last 365 days whether you want to hear about it or not. Well...it was that time a little over a month ago anyway, but at long last, here it is: my 2008 end of the year post. Yeah, I know it's early February '09, but that's okay. The lateness of this post just means that I've had a chance to catch up on some of the '08 movies that I hadn't gotten the opportunity to see before the end of the year. I already did a Top 10 Movies of the Year list on The Sidetracked Podcast a few weeks ago, but the one I've compiled here will be a different, updated version of that list since, as I mentioned, I've now seen more movies from 2008 than I had when I formed that incarnation of my Top Ten. So what say we look at some stats and then move onto the lists? I say lists because in addition to my Top 10 and Bottom 10 of the year I've also listed the movies from 2008 that I still need to catch up with as well as a comprehensive catalog of every 2008 release I've seen as of this writing. And away we go.

Total number of movies released in 2008 that I have seen as of the writing of this post: 82

Total number of movies released in 2008 which I saw in the theater: 33

Total number of times I went to the theater between January 1, 2008 and December 31, 2008: 37

Approximate amount of money I spent at the theater in 2008 (based on a price of $10/ticket): $370.00

THE BEST OF 2008

10. Rambo
In my opinion, this is the best film in the Rambo/First Blood franchise. This movie knew exactly what it wanted to be and didn't try to hide that fact. It was bloody and violent as hell with plenty of "holy shit" moments, and didn't include a single scene that wasn't necessary to further the plot. It's also short and to the point, which action movies shouldn't (but often seem to) be afraid to be. Stallone proves that he's got what it takes to work behind the camera, and he's still physically and emotionally capable in front of the lens as well. Rambo is an example of clear and concise film making, and although it's very brooding and grotesque, I feel like I could pop it in and watch it anytime because it zips by at 92 minutes and never loses my interest for an instant.

9. Pride & Glory
Based on the trailers, I was expecting this to be the standard Hollywood cop film. Not so. The best word I can think of to describe this movie is "epic". And I don't mean the modern "Epic Fail/Epic Win" internet variety of epic, either. I mean it in the textbook sense: "noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero, in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style". Edward Norton is the best he's been since Fight Club, Colin Farrell puts in one of the only truly impressive performances of his career as far as I'm concerned (another being this year's In Bruges), Jon Voight is better than he has been in years, and director Gavin O'Connor has gotten me wondering where he's been all my life. This film is brutally intense with a great mystery and several expertly woven plotlines. I can't wait to see it again, but a week and a half later I'm still reeling from my first viewing.

8. Slumdog Millionaire
I went into this film without a clear idea of what I was going to see, basically just swept up by the positive hype it was getting. The reason for this is likely that while amazing, Slumdog Millionaire's plot is nearly impossible to explain to someone without either ruining the suspense or making absolutely no sense whatsoever. Suffice to say that Danny Boyle has made a movie unlike any other I've seen and I'd love to see more films like it. Easily one of the most heartwarming movies I've ever laid eyes on, Slumdog Millionaire knows how to play to the viewer's emotions in all the right ways, leaving you completely satisfied and in awe upon exiting the theater or turning off your DVD player. Not to mention, it has some of the best child actors I've ever had the pleasure of watching.

7. Cloverfield
When it comes to unsubstantiated hype, Cloverfield takes the cake. This movie was being hailed as a must-see based on rumors alone, and against all odds it managed to deliver on that hype in a big way. Some would call Cloverfield a giant monster film in the vein of Godzilla, but I'd call it a dramatic adventure which takes place in the vicinity of a giant monster. The creature in Cloverfield is far from the main focus, though it does drive the majority of the plot due to it's mere existence. As such, the task of entertaining the audiences who came into film expecting a series of high-flying monster battles falls upon the shoulders of a few young no-name actors and the sheer quality of the script with which they were working. Both succeed in spades and make for a film that, much to my surprise, stands up 100% to repeat viewings. Don't fret though, if you're looking for a badass creature feature, there are certainly worse places to look.

6. Iron Man
Iron Man has always been one of the most obvious choices for a big name superhero worth bringing to the big screen in my opinion, based purely on the fact that his story is more centered around technological sci-fi than it is absurdist sci-fi/fantasy. Apparently Jon Favreau agreed with me completely, and made a high-tech action film that, surprisingly, was very sparse when it came to the action. With so little combat onscreen, Marvel opted for Iron Man to live or die based on it's characters, and really all you need to know is a name: Robert Downey Jr. As Tony Stark, Downey Jr. created an actor/character marriage that I would have never thought of in a million years, and which almost sells the movie on it's own. This is not to say, however, that there is nothing visually worthy in Iron Man, though. Far from it. The effects are incredible whether Stark is battling other characters in giant armored suits or just fiddling around in his basement workshop. While there have certainly been better movies based on comic books, Iron Man is probably the best superhero movie since the Spiderman series.

5. Eagle Eye
How do movies like National Treasure and National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets earn 350 and 470 million dollars respectively and Eagle Eye can hardly break 175? While I despise the former and love the latter, I am willing to admit that they're somewhat similar movies. Both are entirely preposterous in premise, but what National Treasure lacks in noteworthy performances and originality, Eagle Eye delivers en masse. I am totally willing to admit that Eagle Eye's plot and premise are ridiculous, but they do make for one hell of a fun action jaunt. Shia LaBeouf proves once more why I find him to be such a likable, charismatic character actor, Michelle Monaghan gives the most noteworthy performance of her career thus far in my opinion, and Billy Bob Thornton shows once more that he knows how to ham it up in service of the film rather than his ego. D.J. Caruso and Shai LaBeouf, the duo behind 2007's equally fun and mindless romp Disturbia, have done it again.

4. Jumper
Don't believe what you've heard about Jumper. Unless, that is, you've heard that it's a good film, though I seriously doubt you've heard that. Superhero movies are all well and good, but as a comic book reader it was really exciting to see one coming out based on characters I wasn't familiar with. Based on a novel rather than a comic, Jumper took me completely by surprise with it's amazingly original take on a concept as passe among the spandex-clad crowd as teleportation. Hayden Christiansen impressed me here for the first time since Shattered Glass and Samuel L. Jackson once again proves why he's so great at playing characters you love to hate. I won't claim that Jumper is the second coming of the science fiction film, but there are some very cool sci-fi concepts at work here which are expertly countered by the properly executed, fast-paced, shaky camera work of the man who originally perfected that style of action in The Bourne Identity: Doug Liman. I simply can't help but have a smile on my face just about the entire time I'm watching this film, and for that reason it was one of my favorite movies of 2008.

3. Wall-E
Right from the beginning I've loved Pixar. I saw Toy Story in the theater and with just about every subsequent release of one of their films I've wrestled with myself as to whether it were actually better than each of their previous titles or not. Wall-E is no exception. I'm so in awe of this film that I don't know where to begin talking it up because everything about it is great. I guess it's most obvious just to say that the film is beautiful. No one can dispute that. Even if you somehow don't like Pixar's films, you cannot deny that each and every one of their movies raises the bar as far as the eye candy is concerned. In regards to the story, the main thing that Pixar constantly provides which accounts for a lot of why I enjoy their films so much is that the stories, for what are usually considered children's movies, are smart, well thought out, and not dumbed down in any way just to be suitable for kids. They've repeatedly found the perfect balance between what will entertain and delight a child and what will captivate and speak to adults. This is perhaps true moreso of Wall-E than any of Pixar's other films to date, because by the end of this film I was so wrapped up in the plight of the little robot at the center of the plot that I came close to tears. There are plenty of other aspects of Wall-E that I could go into in describing why this movie made it onto, and in fact ranks so high on, this list, but honestly It was probably enough to simply say that it was made by Pixar.

2. The Dark Knight
Well what is there to say about The Dark Knight that hasn't already been said, really? It's a great movie. As a non-Batman fan, this film is just about as good as it can get. While I admit that the movie isn't perfect, it is a spectacle to behold. Much like Pride & Glory, which I reviewed farther down this list, The Dark Knight is best described as an epic. Bruce Wayne's world is flipped upside down during the course of this film and we, the audience, are helpless but to sit, glued to our seats, as some of the best writing, directing, and acting yet to come out of a superhero movie plays out before our widened eyes. Everything else about this film takes a back seat to Heath Ledger's performance, though. Believe the hype. Ledger is mystifying to watch. I think that the perfect combination of wardrobe and make-up, ingenuity, great writing, and mystery all added up to what was probably the best performance of the year. I say mystery because, like myself, I think that a lot of people just didn't know what to expect from The Joker. Not only because Christopher Nolan and company created their own unique vision of the character, but because whether or not you liked Heath Ledger before seeing The Dark Knight, or even knew who he was for that matter, I doubt that there's a person on the planet who could have predicted what he was going to (and indeed capable of) bring(ing) to the table. There are plenty of aspects of The Dark Knight which I'm skipping over here, Aaron Eckhart's performance being one of the more notable ones, but if I were pressed to suggest one reason to go watch The Dark Knight, based on this review I think you know what that one thing would be. And it's almost single-handedly the reason that the film lies so high on this list.

1. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The best movie of the year. Sometimes this decision is as easy as leaving the theater happy (i.e. my choice of Grind House last year). Sometimes however, it takes a bit more thought than that. I did love The Curious Case of Benjamin Button immediately, but while it is visually amazing, expertly directed, beautifully written, and full of inspired acting, it is still somehow the most reserved film on this list. It's one of only three (what I would call) straight dramas on my Top 10, and of those three it is decidedly less in your face than the others. I think that's why this decision took so much thought. Could such a stoic, sentimental film really be more epic than the The Dark Knight? Could it really be more heart-warming than Wall-E? Could it honestly leave me more delighted than I was exiting my screening of Jumper? Yes, yes, and yes. It would be pretty bold to call this film flawless, but it's certainly closer to deserving that distinction than any of the other films I saw this year, which is why it made #1 on this list. David Fincher still hasn't made a bad film in opinion, which is a bit surprising considering that he took an astonishing leap away from his comfort zone of the highly stylized thriller with Benjamin Button. I'm no longer sure that I can truly define what a "David Fincher movie" is, and that's very exciting. I have no idea what he'll do next or what his take on his next subject will be, but one thing's for sure: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button set the bar high for not only Fincher's upcoming projects, but every theatrical release of the foreseeable future as well.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

The Bank Job

Gran Torino

In Bruges

Taken

The Wrestler

THE WORST OF 2008

10. Hancock
Good premise, poor execution. Somebody over-thought this plot a little bit. The first half of the movie isn't gold, but it's fun. The second half, seemingly written by a different (and incompetent) writer altogether, is way too bogged down by poor plot development, a weak, over-complicated concept, and an ill-informed decision on someone's behalf that the film needed some extra, unnecessary action.

9. Step Brothers
Will Ferrell can only shout in that oafish "I think I know what I'm talking about, but I'm really a bewildered idiot" voice so many times before I become tired of it. When you add John C. Reilly simply aping that very same character back at him, you've essentially got an imbecile blurting non sequiturs at himself in the mirror. Maybe I'd have liked this movie a few years ago before I'd seen the same type of film from Ferrell so many times, but I was bored and annoyed by it more than anything.

8. The Love Guru
Take a movie that was original and funny a decade ago, change it slightly because you have no new ideas, and pray to God that it still works. Fail.

7. Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
Completely changing the plot and tone of the franchise for the first sequel didn't work like it did for Aliens, so why not just try to clone the original movie for this one? Oh, wait...horrible acting, writing, and special effects? This film's tagline should have been "No budget? No problem!"

6. Joyride 2: Dead Ahead
Most horror movie franchises begin with a somewhat original, suspenseful, and entertaining first film and quickly devolve into a repetitive, faceless, blood-soaked mess. Often this occurs as as early as the second installment of the series. Why should Joyride be any different?

5. Punisher: War Zone
Over the top violence and gore needs to be either accompanied by a good, meaningful story or completely devoid of any noteworthy plot to bog it down. Punisher: War Zone fits snugly into the large gray area between those two extremes. It's story is far from perfect, but tries it's best to be something it's not. Also, a parkour runner is disintegrated by a rocket during mid-rooftop-to-rooftop jump. Need I say more?

4. The Eye
The Ring had Naomi Watts. Even The Grudge had Sarah Michelle Gellar. The Eye has Jessica Alba. Who should we get to play our blind, emotional lead? Probably the most beautiful, yet worst actress we can get our hands on. Even if someone of Naomi Watts' caliber had been in this though, it still would have been boring as shit.

3. Righteous Kill
Neither Robert DeNiro nor Al Pacino have been very good in the past ten years or so in my opinion. However, I'm willing to bet that if this movie were made in the 70's or early eighties when both of those guys were in their prime and it had been directed by Martin Scorcese, this script still wouldn't come close to being able to inspire a passable film. What a terrible, terrible waste of talent and money.

2. Max Payne
For a movie based on a video game, the point of which is entirely centered around shooting every single character you see onscreen, Max Payne somehow managed to have less action than Air Bud. It should be illegal to make movies this bad.

1. Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds
This film is the definition of the term "fall from grace". Along with The Mist, Cloverfield, The Host, and Slither, I would include the original Feast among the very short list of the best monster movies made since the turn of the millennium. Admittedly, that's a pretty high bar for a horror sequel to live up to, but if I were to type out everything that was wrong with this movie here I would probably break the internet. Suffice to say that if you respect me, yourself, or the art of film at all, you will quietly look away whenever this film catches your eye and pray nightly to whichever god you believe in to strike down everyone involved with the production of Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds in the most painful and disgraceful way imaginable.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

Baby Mama

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Midnight Meat Train

Pathology

The Strangers

MOVIES FROM 2008 WHICH I STILL WANT TO SEE
4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days
Frost/Nixon
JCVD
Let The Right One In
Milk
Quarantine
REC
Sukiyaki Western Django
Visioneers
W.

THE UNABRIDGED WHAT I WATCHED IN 2008

- Movies I saw in the theater
- Movies I downloaded or watched on DVD
- Movies that came out Direct To DVD (more or less)
- Movies I saw in IMAX
- Movies I saw in the theater twice
- Movies from 2008 which I didn't see until 2009

The Bank Job
Cloverfield
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Eagle Eye
Gran Torino
In Bruges
Iron Man
Jumper
Lakeview Terrace
Pride & Glory
Rambo
Slumdog Millionaire
Taken
Wall-E
The Wrestler

Bangkok Dangerous
Be Kind, Rewind
Burn After Reading
Chocolate
CJ7
The Day The Earth Stood Still
The Forbidden Kingdom
Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs
Futurama: Bender's Game
Get Smart
The Incredible Hulk
Kung-Fu Panda
Mirrors
The Promotion
Quantum Of Solace
RocknRolla
The Ruins
Speed Racer
Stuck
Teeth
Tropic Thunder
Zack & Miri Make A Porno

21
10,000 B.C.
Batman: Gotham Knight
Blindness
Choke
Drillbit Taylor
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Ghost Town
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
How To Lose Friends And Alienate People
Pineapple Express
Role Models
Run, Fat Boy, Run
Semi-Pro
The Signal
Splinter
Street Kings
Valkyrie
Vantage Point
Wanted
You Don't Mess With The Zohan

Baby Mama
Babylon A.D.
Dead Space: Downfall
Death Race
Doomsday
Hancock
The Happening
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Man On Wire
Midnight Meat Train
Pathology
Step Brothers
The Strangers
Untraceable
X-Files: I Want To Believe

The Eye
Feast II: Sloppy Seconds
Joyride 2: Dead Ahead
The Love Guru
Max Payne
Punisher: War Zone
Righteous Kill
Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

Click Here to read my Top 10 Movies of 2007.

***All of the information in this post is only accurate through February 15, 2009, after which time my opinions may change due to subsequent viewings.

ATTENTION "FB"

2009-02-12T17:24:00.002-05:00

If you're initials are FB and you recently sent me an e-mail titled "Interested in a review on http://whativebeenwatching.blogspot.com", please write back to me because I've lost the message you sent me.

- Rian

Netflix Rapid Fire Reviews - March '08

2008-10-04T07:10:00.001-04:00

The Legend of Drunken Master
The Legend of Drunken Master doesn't have the same classic feel as the original Drunken Master, but it certainly delivers on the action the same way that it's predecessor did. I was blown away by Jackie Chan's raw physical ability in Drunken Master, but rather than sticking to straight fisticuffs as with that film, Legend moves further into the environmental interaction which Chan became famous for later in his career. The sheer ingenuity of the final fight scene, which involves Jackie performing stunts on real life hot coals, is worth the price of a rental alone.

Alien Nation
The effects look cheesy and the commentary on racism is forced, but Alien Nation has an original enough concept behind it that I found myself really enjoying this film. I wasn't a big fan of some of the hokey characteristics of the movie's alien race, but they weren't so corny as to be completely unbelievable. At it's heart, Alien Nation is more of an 80's crime drama/action flick than a sci-fi extravaganza, which is probably why it works. If you've ever seen a Lethal Weapon film you should be able to handle the dynamic between James Caan and his extraterrestrial counterpart easily enough without letting all of the slime and wacky make-up ruin the experience for you.

Hustle & Flow
Generally I'm not a big fan of Terrence Howard, nor am I a big rap aficionado, but after seeing director Craig Brewer's subsequent film Black Snake Moan and loving every moment of it I felt compelled to check out Hustle & Flow. This movie is sappy, unrealistic, and over the top in just about every single way, but I have to admit that it's a fun watch. In my opinion Terrence Howard gives the best performance of his career herein, and there are a few good performances from the likes of D.J. Qualls and Taryn Manning as well. I am living proof that you don't have to have a deep appreciation for rap music to enjoy this movie, just as you don't have to truly love the blues to have a blast watching Black Snake Moan, so my recommendation is that you give Hustle & Flow a chance the next time you can't decide what you want to rent.

Enemy Mine
Similar to Alien Nation, Enemy Mine is about a human and an alien being who have to learn to get along. In Alien Nation these characters are partners on a futuristic police force, but here they must rely on one another to survive after they find themselves stranded on the unforgiving surface of a seemingly barren planet. The visual effects on display here have fallen victim in many instances to the time which has elapsed since it's release, but there are a few practical effects which should please any fan of 80's sci-fi or horror films. There are points during this film's running time when I got lost in the relationship between the human and the alien, which is a testament to the acting abilities of Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr., but for the most part I'm compelled to categorize this movie as cheese.

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
I'm sure that I've mentioned in a previous review or two that I'm not the biggest fan of documentaries, but every now and then I see one which really speaks to me. One such film is The King Of Kong. Honestly, there just aren't enough documentaries out there about topics which I'm really interested in (or at least that's how it seems to me). The King Of Kong, however, tells the story of an everyman (Steve Wiebe) who decides to take a stab at making a name for himself by obtaining the high score in the classic arcade game Donkey Kong. As we all know, every hero needs a nemesis, and that's where Billy Mitchell comes in. Mitchell is a truly detestable human being despite his wrath being limited to something as seemingly unsubstantial as an old video game, but if Wiebe's plight isn't enough to keep your eyes glued to the screen during The King of King, then Mitchell's treachery and deception will surely do the trick.

Raging Bull
When I was younger and I tried to watch Raging Bull, my disinterest in boxing (and all sports in general, really) made quick work of my attention span. After finally discovering the genius that is Martin Scorcese's directing, Robert DeNiro's acting (circa the 70's, 80's and early 90's), and the combination of the two many years later, I felt compelled to give this film another chance. What a difference a few years makes. Jake La Motta's particular story still doesn't particularly hold any real interest for me, but when Scorcese gets his hands on the right story he just has a way of turning it into film gold. Boxing fans will surely find much more to connect with here than I did, but I find it hard to imagine anyone who's given Raging Bull a chance not realizing the incredible talent at display both in front of and behind the camera that was used to shoot it.

The Untouchables
The Untouchables is a classic re-telling of how the FBI brought down Al Capone from the point of view of the man responsible for discovering the loophole which inevitably led to his imprisonment. There are memorable performances everywhere you look in this film from Sean Connery to Andy Garcia and from Kevin Costner to Robert DeNiro as Capone himself. My one real complaint with this film is that what it has in star power it lacks in suspense. Sure, there are exceptions such as the incredibly directed and edited sequence on the stairs of the train station, but during many scenes which I felt should have been the most impacting of the entire movie it was as though poor decisions were made which kept the goings on from reaching the emotional level that they could (or in my opinion should) have. The prime example of this is the scene in which the feds pull a sting operation on the Canadian border. There are people chasing and shooting at one another, but the music doesn't match the tension at all and completely neuters the scene's suspense. Tension aside, there is a good narrative going on in The Untouchables with some entertaining acting, but I'm not convinced that this film should be held quite as high as some people (such as my father) seem to.

Kingpin
Sometimes it's hard to pin down exactly what will make an individual laugh and what won't. The Farrelly brothers' film There's Something About Mary still makes me laugh my ass off to this day. Their previous effort Kingpin just doesn't do it for me though, and I'm not quite sure that I understand why. Bill Murray gives a funny performance and Woody Harrelson and Randy Quaid make a good enough comedic pair, but for whatever reason I didn't find myself particularly drawn to this story of an Amish bowling savant and his money-grubbing manager. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I've seen one too many road comedies or that the brand of gross-out humor employed in Kingpin has grown old to me. Or maybe this film just isn't that funny. I didn't hate this film, but I didn't love it either. Kind of indecisive for a movie review, I know, but what can I say? Comedy is a fickle mistress.

Bullitt
Bullitt is known for one thing and one thing alone: it's car chase. So how is said chase? Pretty darn good actually. It's no Death Proof, but considering that it was filmed in 1968 I was very impressed by what the filmmakers were able to achieve. True, they did slip up and leave shots of five hubcaps falling off of the same car, but I'm willing to forgive that flaw because it has honestly become one of the most well known facts about the film and it's pretty fun to try counting them yourself as they eject themselves from the wheels of Steve McQueen's enemies' Dodge Charger. What about the rest of the movie, though? I dare say that if it weren't for the chase scene which I've already covered, Bullitt wouldn't be nearly the household name that it is. McQueen is as good as he ever was, but there are much more compelling crime dramas out there in my opinion. Maybe not ones from the same year, but nonetheless, overall I found Bullitt to be rather middle of the road.

Meatball Machine
I heard the title of this film, saw that it was a Japanese horror flick, and expected an outrageous and enjoyable viewing experience. What I got was certainly outrageous, but not really enjoyable in the least. The plot involves some sort of little creatures which attach themselves to people like parasites and a small group of individuals who track them down and kill them. I know that the plot must be more intricate than that, but I was honestly lost or simply uninterested during most of the dialogue scenes which presumably explained what was actually happening. I've never been one to turn my nose up at low budget practical visual effects, but the costumes and effects in Meatball Machine are more laughable than they are noteworthy. Sure, some of the character designs look neat, but as soon as those characters begin to move around, their prosthetics (which for the most part are meant to look like metal) begin flapping around in the breeze. As with a good portion of the Japanese films, manga, and anime that I've seen, Meatball Machine ends with a showdown between two super-powered individuals. Unlike most of the Japanese movies, manga, and anime that I've seen, this sequence was so poorly shot and achieved that I find it impossible to think of anything good to say about it. Simply put, Ifound next to nothing to like about Meatball Machine.

Shallow Hal
As with many of the Farrelly brothers' films, Shallow Hal's core premise sounds like a simple, perhaps stereotyped one. A man is a bit of a dick until something mystical or otherwise unexplainable happens to him which causes him to change his way of life in sometimes humorous ways. Also as with many of the Farrelly brothers' movies, while that run of the mill premise serves to draw in audiences, it is the surprisingly emotional story and multi-dimensional characters which keep the audience around after the dirty jokes have worn out their welcome. In the specific case of Shallow Hal, Jack Black's character is a male chauvinist whose perception is changed so that whenever he looks at an unattractive woman he sees a gorgeous one and vice-a-versa. As I mentioned at the top of this review, the premise here is rather dull, but when Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow's characters take over and the toilet humor takes a back seat, the plot thrives rather than becoming boring or humorless. From talking to my peers I'm finding more and more that I'm one of the only people who views some of the Farrelly films such as this one and Stuck On You in this light, but for whatever reason I came away appreciating Shallow Hal's story in addition to being entertained by it's comedy.

Galaxy Quest
I'm not a fan of Star Trek by any means, but I'm a big enough science fiction geek that enough of it's mythos have rubbed off on me to allow to fully understand and appreciate the satire provided by this film. Then again, as thick as it lays on the Trekkie stereotypes I'm sure that just about anyone can make the connection. What's rather astonishing is that while essentially serving as one huge wink and a nod to the Star Trek franchise, Galaxy Quest actually manages to become a perfectly worthy franchise of it's own. The characters are likable, the humor doesn't require a great knowledge of Trek lore to be funny, the effects hold up in a sort of "you know that we know that you know it's supposed to look kind of fake" sort of way, and the story actually provides a few good thrills. Galaxy Quest will surely never outshine an actual noteworthy sci-fi tale, but it's close enough to being one itself that it's worth noting. I'd recommend Galaxy Quest to anyone who's into comedies, but especially to nerds like myself who are into comedies. Then of course there are the Tim Allen fans (you know who you are...).

Sleepy Hollow
There are Tim Burton lovers and there are Tim Burton haters. I'm a Tim Burton lover. I don't necessarily like all of his films (Batman, The Corpse Bride, etc.), but for the most part I enjoy being whisked away into the fantasy worlds he creates. While many of Burton's films have the same gothic style, it is one which is original to his work and one which I appreciate. That reasoning goes a long way toward explaining why I like Sleepy Hollow. You've got a quirky Johnny Depp character, an attractive, dark love interest (Christina Ricci), a murder mystery, and lots of blood. I'm not entirely familiar with the original version of the tale of the headless horseman, but I'm fairly certain that Burton took quite a few liberties with the story for his film, which is fine by me. The mystery, while not profound by any means, kept me guessing, and all of the slightly off kilter characters had me sporting a wicked grin all along.

Midnight Cowboy
I went into Midnight Cowboy having essentially no clue what it was about. Really, I only added it to my Netflix queue because I recognized the name as being one which people bring up a lot as being a classic. Going in I didn't even realize that this was the film from which the line "I'm walkin' here!" originated. Needless to say, I was rather surprised to discover that Midnight Cowboy is about a small town guy (Jon Voight) who moves to New York City to become a male prostitute. Along the way he meets a lovable lowlife named Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman), with whom he proceeds to live in poverty. For all of the biting social commentary that Midnight Cowboy must have packed when it was released in the late 60's, I've got to say that my ignorant Generation X mind wasn't terribly affected by it. Whenever I watch considerably older films about New York City I tend to feel somewhat disconnected from the story because it's not a depiction of the New York that I'm familiar with. The city isn't a complete shit-hole like it used to be and it takes the right story done by the right director to make me feel at home there while I'm watching a film. Something like Taxi Driver ensnared me with it's characters and situations enough that I had no problems tagging along for the ride, but Midnight Cowboy regrettably didn't garner the same effect. I felt disconnected from the story and was often a bit bored, but from an outsider's point of view I can still see the validity of this film. It just wasn't necessarily for me.

Who Am I?
Some Jackie Chan films are better than others. Some have good plots but lack the mind-boggling fights that others have in droves. Then there are those which have stories which are so bad that they make your head hurt, but enough balls to the wall action to make up for their less than perfect plots. Who Am I? is one of the latter. The story involves some sort of rock which can act as a devastating explosive, so of course there are some evil businessmen trying to get their hands on it. Jackie Chan comes to the rescue, but honestly can't do much to save the weak plot. What he brings to the table here instead of the dramatic performance required to save the story is the masterful choreography and pure, unbelievable physical skill which he is known for worldwide. There are a few tussles between Jackie and the bad guys throughout the film's running time, but it isn't until the final showdown on the roof of a skyscraper between Chan and two well dressed combatants that the action in Who Am I? really hits it's stride. As far as fight scenes in movies are concerned you have two categories: CG enhanced fights and old-school wireless, computer-less fights. While The Matrix or some comic book films may have the upper hand when it comes to the first category, in my opinion nothing beats the final fight scene in Who Am I? The choreography is amazing, the fighting itself looks real, and most amazingly, the interaction with the surrounding scenery is breathtaking. Chan and co. actually staged portions of the fight scene hanging off the side of a skyscraper! With no wires! Can Keanu Reeves do that? I think not. I gave Who Am I? a rating of 5 out of 5 stars, but in reality that rating belongs entirely to this final fight sequence. The rest of the movie is just riding on it's coat tails. Seriously, if you like action movies and you've never seen Who Am I?, then you don't really like action movies. No joke.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
As odd as it sounds, I've always wanted to see this film despite never really knowing quite what it was about. I've always thought that it looked interesting, but I never expected it to be quite as good as it turned out to be. What's Eating Gilbert Grape? is technically a touching drama, but I almost prefer to think of it as simply a slice of life film. It's one of those movies which has a lot going on to keep you interested, but isn't necessarily headed toward any particular conclusion that you could see coming. Does that make any sense? The story revolves around a young man named Gilbert Grape (duh) played by Johnny Depp who lives with his two sisters, mentally disabled brother (Leonardo DiCaprio), and extremely obese mother, essentially taking up the role of the man of the house in the absence of their deceased father. When a woman and her daughter (Juliette Lewis) are stranded in the area after their camper breaks down, Gilbert makes his first attempt in years to live a life away from his family with the new girl, but finds that his responsibilities and his personal desires clash a bit more violently than he may have expected. It's really hard to describe what it is about this movie that's so compelling, but suffice to say that within the seemingly unspectacular series of events over the course of the film lies a lot of emotion which I wasn't expecting. Though I may not have the correct words to explain why, I highly recommend What's Eating Gilbert Grape? to audiences of all interests.

Mr. Nice Guy
After obtaining video footage of a drug bust gone bad, a female reporter is on the run from some unsavory individuals. Fortunately for her, she runs into a famous Chinese chef played by Jackie Chan. Chan's character, despite being a kindly cook, always wanted to be a police officer and as such knows his way around a fight scene. Yet another ridiculous set-up for Jackie Chan to kick some ass and take some poorly pronounced names doesn't necessarily sound like much, but as I always say, if Jackie Chan is involved that's reason enough alone to give a movie a shot. Not the best and not the worst Chan movie around, Mr. Nice Guy is simply a fun flick to sit back and watch when you've got nothing better to do and feel like seeing some people getting the crap beaten out of them (and hey, who doesn't like to do that from time to time?). The highlight of this particular action-fest is a fight scene which takes place in a construction site and involves Jackie actually interacting with, and nearly having his limbs chopped off by, actual power tools such as circular saws.

The Cheyenne Social Club
After discovering via a letter that his brother has died, John (Jimmy Stewart) and his fellow cowboy Harley (Henry Fonda) head to the town of Cheyenne to take over the business which he's left them. Assuming based on the name "The Cheyenne Social Club" that the business is a saloon of some sort, John is understandably surprised to discover that the club is in fact a brothel. Taking offense to the idea of running such an establishment, John decides to convert the business into a hotel, which doesn't sit well with the members of the town, many of whom are regular customers of the Club. As you can surely imagine, this film being a western, there are a few bar fights and a shootout or two along the way, but The Cheyenne Social Club is primarily about the humor of the situation John and Harley find themselves in. While I tend to prefer a straight up spaghetti western to a comedic one, every now and then a good film like this one or Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is just what the doctor ordered. Likable characters and some raunchy (for it's time) humor make The Cheyenne Social Club simply a fun time in front of your home entertainment system. Not to mention, the duo of Stewart and Fonda is not to be missed.

Random Rapid Fire Reviews - February '08

2008-10-02T06:25:00.003-04:00

Commando
What can really be said about Commando? You either love this movie or hate it, but whichever side of the table you fall on, you feel that way because it's bad. I'm one of those people who loves this movie, as I do just about any cheesy 80's action film. I know that it's not technically a good film, but with Arnold Schwarzenegger delivering lines like "Let off some steam, Bennet" after impaling an enemy on a steam pipe, I find myself rendered incapable of disliking it.

Face/Off
There are good ideas for sci-fi action films and then there are ideas that sound good on paper but turn out preposterous onscreen. Something like Terminator would be one of the former. Face/Off is among the latter. Sure, having the good guy become the bad guy and vice-a-versa sounds fun, but when John Travolta and Nicolas Cage begin swapping faces and John Woo tries to make an art-house picture out of his shoot-'em-up movie, the film's credibility begins to stretch itself a little thin. There are worthwhile moments here to be sure, but not enough of them for this reviewer.

The Invasion (2007)
To read this review, click here.

The Howling
Despite being a huge fan of monster movies, werewolves, vampires, zombies, and the like have never held much interest for me. I prefer an original creature, or at least an original take on an already established creature. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot of original stuff going on in The Howling, but it does have one card up it's sleeve: Rob Bottin. This is perhaps the only time I've ever watched a movie specifically because of the special effects artist who worked on it. The human-to-werewolf transformation scene in this film is the one reason that I will re-watch it again someday. The man who made the title character of John Carpenter's The Thing a visually plausible concept brings werewolves to life in this movie. While I sincerely doubt that anyone else out there will agree with me, that is reason enough to watch The Howling.

Catch & Release
Kevin Smith plays a substantial role in a movie which he didn't write or direct for, if I'm not mistaken, the first time. That made me curious enough to consider watching this otherwise (from my point of view) completely uninteresting film. However it wasn't until I read Smith's book entitled My Boring-Ass Life in which he chronicles the process of shooting the film in quite a bit of depth that I finally committed to checking it out. As it turns out, the film was just as dull, predictable, and yawn-inducing as I'd expected it to be, but it was actually somewhat interesting to note particular moments in the film which I'd previously read about in Smith's book from a behind-the-scenes standpoint. So in other words, don't watch this movie unless you've read My Boring-Ass Life, and even then you should probably think twice before popping in the DVD.

Half Nelson
I enjoy Ryan Gosling as much as the next movie-goer, but I'd have probably passed on watching this film if it weren't for all of the rave reviews that it seems to have acquired across the blog-o-sphere as being some sort of underdog masterpiece. Gosling certainly handles the role of a drug addicted teacher well enough, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that the events of the film were a little hokey. I have no problem believing that there are teachers out there in underprivileged parts of the country who grow a bond between themselves one of their students, but the sentiments in Half Nelson's depiction of one such instance felt forced to me. This is absolutely a well-crafted and acted film, but it's perhaps a bit too self-important for my taste.

Played
Not long ago I was in a Blockbuster Video taking advantage of the "4 previously viewed DVDs for $20" deal that the store runs from time to time. There I stood in the same situation that I always end up in when trying to choose four titles to purchase: I had three movies in my hand that I wanted and couldn't find a fourth which I was interested in. Then I laid eyes on a movie I'd never heard of called Played. The cover of the DVD box prominently featured an image of Vinnie Jones and Gabriel Byrne aiming pistols at me, as well as an inset photo of Val Kilmer, immediately bringing to mind such films as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I figured "Those three guys and the tag-line 'Money, murder, revenge...it's all part of the game'? It's got to be worth five bucks." As it turns out I was sorely mistaken, and the first of many reasons that I will list off as to why this movie is a horrible piece of shit is this: combined, Vinnie Jones, Gabriel Byrne, and Val Kilmer, all of whom are featured prominently on the DVD box cover, are onscreen for maybe twenty minutes of the film. "Maybe" being the key word here. Played stars writer/producer Mick Rossi, in his first acting role aside from another credit as "Club Patron #1", as a small time thief who plays a part in a bumbled robbery which ends with him rotting in prison for eight years. When he gets out of the slammer he finds himself galavanting through several unnecessarily confusing intertwining plot threads full of British accents and gunfire on his way to revenge. Let's settle on the word "confusing" for a second. Introducing a new side story with a new British guy in a suit every ten minutes does not a Guy Ritchie movie make. As much as the people responsible for Played may have liked for that to be the case, they've done nothing more with their film than prove that they are nowhere near as talented as the man from whom they were attempting to steal a genre. And speaking of British people, just because someone has an accent does not mean that they are a good actor. Hell, even the good actors in this movie sucked. I think the best performance of the entire film belonged to Vinnie Jones. This isn't to say that I don't think he's capable of putting in a good performance, but we're talking about a movie co-starring Gabriel Byrne and Val Kilmer. The best has yet to come, though. Beyond the misleading box art, beyond the confusing plot, and beyond the heinous acting lie the direction, cinematography, and picture quality. You know when you're watching something like COPS and the show cuts away to a "dramatic reenactment" of a crime being committed? Or perhaps when you were forced to watch old VHS-recorded History Channel specials in grade school featuring sequences which were supposed to take place during the Renaissance or something, but which were obviously filmed in a nice public park somewhere with people in ridiculously fake old timey clothing? Well that is what this entire fucking movie looked like. I could swear that the director found an old camcorder in his parents' closet and decided to shoot the entire film with it. I have never seen a feature film with such horrible picture quality aside from The Blair Witch Project, but that movie was supposed to look like it was recorded by amateurs. Unless I nodded off and missed something, I'm pretty sure that Played was not supposed to come across that way. Seriously though, I didn't fall asleep during Played, but I did honestly consider turning it off at around the fifteen minute mark, which is something I never do. I could go out tomorrow and make a better movie than Played using my camera phone. The only difference would be that I would give Val Kilmer and Gabriel Byrne bigger roles.

Raising Arizona
The first time I watched Raising Arizona I was both bored and confused by it. I had the same feelings about The Big Lebowski the first time I saw that film as well. The second time I saw The Big Lebowski I liked it a little more. The third time I liked it yet a little more, and so on. Now I proudly proclaim that The Big Lebowski is my favorite comedy of all time. After I saw No Country For Old Men in the theater at the end of 2007 I decided that I needed to catch up with some of the Coen brothers films which I either hadn't seen before or felt as though I needed to revisit. Upon re-watching Raising Arizona I'm perhaps just as confused by parts of it as I was back when I first saw it, but in my eyes it has gone from boring to hilarious. The Big Lebowski is still my favorite comedy of all time, but Raising Arizona can't be too far behind. Not to mention, this film is proof that Nicolas Cage could act at one point in career, and that's pretty incredible in and of itself.

The Brave One
When I saw the trailers for The Brave One I thought that it looked dull and predictable. I'm no psychic, but as far as I'm concerned I predicted both of those facts about this film correctly. Still, Jodie Foster managed to (as she often does) hold everything together in the less-than-inspiring plot and kept me interested in her character enough that I was willing to stick with her on her journey through the film's running time. If you've seen The Punisher or Death Wish, you've essentially already seen this film. The main difference is that instead of a gun-wielding vigilante with a skull on their shirt or a mustache adorning their upper lip, this time the vigilante has breasts.

The Last Winter
A horror film about a small team of researchers stranded in an arctic base with some variety of creature which has been unearthed from the ice? Sound familiar? John Carpenter's The Thing this movie is not, but it isn't bad. Despite the obvious similarities it isn't a complete copycat film either. I'd say that I don't want to give away the mystery of The Last Winter, but I honestly don't know that I could if I really wanted to because the movie managed to fairly well confuse the hell out of me. It certainly didn't end the way I expected it to. There is some good suspense here, but one of the main differences between this film and Carpenter's "ultimate in alien terror" is that aside from Ron Pearlman and maybe one other character, none of the personalities in the film are particularly memorable or likable. As such, I didn't much care about what happened to any of them, which neutered my chances of connecting with the story on a personal level. Horror movie fans should give The Last Winter a shot, but anyone else will probably find it to be a waste of time.

Maximum Overdrive
Maximum Overdrive has the unbecoming distinction of being the only film that writer Stephen King has ever directed. If you've seen the film you can surely tell that King had never stepped behind a camera before this outing, and it should come as a relief to find out that he has never again been allowed the privilege. The film centers around a very good sci-fi concept as every piece of electrical machinery on the planet becomes a killing machine with a mind of it's own when the Earth passes through the tail of a nearby comet, but the worthwhile aspects of Maximum Overdrive end there. As I've mentioned the direction is terrible, but surprisingly (considering that King himself wrote the screenplay), so is the writing. Add to the "cons" list the jumpy pacing, heinous acting, a series of glaring inconstancies, and a lack of focus, and what we end up with is a near-worthless film. Had King decided whether he'd wanted to make a comedy or a horror flick, maybe he would have then been able to figure out a way to hold his movie together with proper pacing and subject matter, but as is the film is simply a mess. Comedy and horror have certainly fit together well in the past (i.e. Tremors, Slither, The Host, etc.), but such was not the case with Maximum Overdrive. In my opinion this movie should have leaned a lot more toward it's scares than it's laughs, and if it had I can imagine it turning out to be a terrifying and thrilling experience like that of the more recent Stephen King adaptation: The Mist. The story is certainly similar, focusing on a small group of people trapped inside a restaurant which is surrounded by evil machinery (as opposed to a small group of people trapped in a grocery store by a mist full of evil monsters). Then again, Maximum Overdrive could have also made a great global scale sci-fi thriller similar to I Am Legend, Independence Day, or 28 Days Later if the story had been set in a city as opposed to the North Carolina countryside. What I'm coming to realize as I think about all of the possibilities that this story could have explored is that in it's current state it is probably the worst movie that could have been made from this subject matter. Any other variation on it's plot, focus, or themes would have been light years better, which brings me to the conclusion that, unlike almost every other film out there, Maximum Overdrive is actually deserving of a remake.

Dreamcatcher
Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Timothy Olyphant, Tom Sizemore, and Morgan Freeman. I'll bet that you didn't know four out of five of those guys were in this movie. That is if you've even heard of this movie to begin with. Stephen King's stories are well known for being some of the best modern horror literature around, though I don't know that I'd refer to Dreamcatcher as a horror film. It's more sci-fi than anything. There are some suspenseful and/or creepy moments (such as one which takes place in a bathroom between Jason Lee, a toilet, and some toothpicks), but overall I wouldn't necessarily expect anyone to cover their eyes through much of this movie. Some of the CG is pretty atrocious, but there are enough original ideas and interesting, well-acted characters here to make me a repeat watcher of this film.

The Ladykillers
In an attempt to watch every single Coen brothers movie in existence, I had to endure a few which I had no real interest in seeing. One such film was The Ladykillers, but thanks to my own stubborn obedience to my role as a completist, I'm happy to say that I was quite pleased with this movie. The situations are ridiculous, the characters are cartoonish, and the entire charade could be best described as "tongue in cheek", but if you're willing to let yourself be whisked away by the fantasy world that the Coens have created, you may be as pleasantly surprised with The Ladykillers as I was. If nothing else, you'll probably have a good chuckle at Marlon Wayans at some point.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
The longer that this film was delayed by post-production debates between the director and the studio behind it, the more my anticipation of it's release grew. The main driving force behind my interest in seeing The Assassination of Jesse James was Brad Pitt, who I generally like and was looking forward to seeing in the role of one of the title characters. As it turns out, Pitt is somewhat overshadowed by the character who shares equal billing in the title, and the actor portraying him; those being Robert Ford and Casey Affleck. Rather than debate who was the better addition to the cast however, I'll simply say that Affleck and Pitt made a great team and managed to keep me enthralled throughout the film's rather tedious running time. If the events of the plot were tightened up a little bit and the movie were a little shorter it may have worked a little better logistically, but it's still an excellent film as is.

We Own The Night
One word: forgettable. To be fair, it's been a few months since I watched We Own The Night, but I can honestly say that this is one of those movies which I had trouble describing the day after I saw it. Not because it was confusing, but because it interested me so little that I subconsciously began blocking it's plot from my memory bit by bit as soon as it had ended to make room for things which I care more about making an effort to remember. The acting is solid, as is the directing, and there are a few memorable moments such as an instance of a drug raid gone bad, but all in all I simply don't have much to say about We Own The Night. It's neither good nor bad. It just is...

Intolerable Cruelty
Let's get this out of the way right off the bat: I don't like George Clooney one bit. Lots of people love him, but ask around enough and you'll find that there is a sizable community of people out there who feel that he plays the same character in every movie, and as such classify him as a bad actor. I'm one of those people. Regardless of that fact, Intolerable Cruelty is simply a bad movie. It's supposedly a comedy, but coming from the men responsible for The Big Lebowski and Raising Arizona, I feel compelled to argue that categorization. Here's the simple fact of the matter: the Coen brothers have style. This movie does not. I don't know who they were paying off a favor to when they made this thing, but I hope that whoever it is is happy, because he or she has almost single-handedly tarnished a near perfect filmmaking record.

Hitman
Crap. If there weren't a few semi-fun instances of gunplay being shown off here I would have nothing at all good to say about this film. It wants to be so much cooler than it is. The problem with (essentially) every video game movie ever made is that their writers take a property that must be pretty good if it's managed to be optioned as a film, and then proceed to completely gut the story from the inside out. By the time the thing makes it to the big screen, all that you really have remaining from the original source material is the title. Video game movies have (thus far anyway), on the whole, essentially just served to give sub-par writers a chance to do whatever the hell they feel like under the safety blanket of a recognizable property name. Hitman is no different. Whoever wrote this thing seems to have just been pissed that they didn't come up with Leon The Professional and decided to take a stab at writing his own version.

Gone Baby Gone
This movie is so good that if I hadn't known prior to seeing it that it was directed by Ben Affleck and you'd told me just that after my having watched it, I'd have laughed in your face. Who would have thought that Ben fucking Affleck had something like this in him? Sure, the script is compelling and well written and the acting is superb, but the real triumph here (in my eyes, anyway) is the direction. There are better directors out there to be sure, but I'm still having a hard time believing that Ben Affleck helmed this thing. Wow. Anyway, moving on, Casey Affleck does an exceptional bit of acting, as does Michelle Monaghan. Both Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman have been better, but their performances here are nothing to balk at. Perhaps the best part of Gone Baby Gone doesn't actually come until after the film has ended and you happen to run into someone else who has seen it. The questions which the movie asks are ones which seem to divide audiences with every viewing. Great movies make for great conversations. Gone Baby Gone is proof positive of that.

WIBW @ The Movies: WANTED

2008-07-15T19:30:00.000-04:00

The Plot: Based on the Top Cow comic book mini-series of the same name by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones, Wanted follows twenty-something loser Wesley Gibson as he goes from zero to unlikely hero. Plucked from his boring life by a group of assassins calling themselves The Fraternity, Wesley discovers that his estranged father was formerly the best assassin in the world and that he himself is more suited than he'd ever imagined to take over the throne left by his departed dad. As everyone (except for Wesley, apparently) knows however, some things are too good to be true...

The Review: As a diligent reader and collector of comic books, I found that I was predestined to flock with many of my brethren to Mark Millar's Wanted comics when they came out back in 2004. The story was sort of like Fight Club with superheroes (or supervillains as it were), a concept which I readily devoured having recently discovered other boundary-pushing titles such as The Authority and Preacher. Issues one through five knocked my socks off as I read them, but much to my surprise I found myself extremely disappointed with the sixth and final issue. Despite the quality of the previous five installments of the series, that last chapter of the story threw an unfavorable shroud over the entire saga and Wanted was resigned to the dark, dusty back corner of my memory as an average comic book. Cut to four years later...

As was the case with the Wanted comic book series, I found myself uncontrollably drawn to the feature film adaptation of the story. Despite my so-so reaction to the comic as a whole, the high-flying, balls-out trailers for the movie drew me in like a mouse to a mouse trap loaded with cheese (or peanut butter as the film would have you believe). So did the feature film version of Wanted disappoint in the same way that the comic book series had?

Yes and no.

Wanted starts off magnificently. Just like the comics, the film begins by introducing us to Wesley Gibson as played by James McAvoy. This guy hates his job, he hates his girlfriend, he hates his boss, he even hates his best friend. To put it simply, he hates his life, and the quirky, sarcastic narration his character gives over the opening scenes of the movie appeal to anyone working and/or living in middle-class America. Wesley immediately becomes a likable character with whom the audience can easily associate, perhaps even moreso than with the comic books because here he's not a wannabe gangster. He's just a loser. Much of the credit for Wesley's character goes to Mark Millar and the film's writers, but I give major props to James McAvoy for stealing the show with his portrayal of Mr. Gibson. I'd never seen McAvoy in a film before, but based on this performance I'll be keeping my eye on him in the future. In addition to Wesley's character though, the entire beginning of the film is extremely enjoyable. After meeting Angelina Jolie's character Fox, Wesley is whisked away into an exciting and intriguing life as an up-and-coming assassin. We see him get into car chases, train to fight with both weapons and his fists, and even exhibit some superhuman abilities. So far, so good, right?

The first thing that threw me about Wanted is the method which The Fraternity uses to decide who needs to be assassinated. This doesn't really ruin any plot points or twists, so I'll just come out and say it: they use a loom. Yes, a machine used to weave fabric out of yarn. When this was revealed in the film, in my head I was literally asking myself "What the fuck?!" This idea makes no sense at all. It simply comes off as silly and either uninventive or over-imaginitive, I'm still not sure which. The loom idea certainly didn't come from the comic books, so there's only really one place that it could have come from. That place is the crazed mind of director/co-writer Timur Bekmambetov.

One of the main draws behind Wanted for me was the promise of massive amounts of eye candy and action, which have come to be expected from Bekmambetov based on his previous films Nightwatch and Daywatch, both of which had previously wowed me with their visuals. The problems with both Nightwatch and Daywatch were that in addition to the very cool ideas and visuals in those films, there are also some very peculiar and confusing ideas and visuals which sort of sour the experience. In those movies however, the plot and events within are so odd to begin with that even when some story element or visual nears insanity, it still manages to somehow fit into place. In the case of Wanted, though the film does toy with some outlandish themes and concepts, wildly crazy ideas such as a loom that can magically predict the future and tell you who deserves to die for crimes they've yet to commit feels completely out of place. This is only the first of many plot points which detracted from Wanted's overall worth to me, though.

For me, as soon as Wesley became a full-fledged, functioning member of The Fraternity, the film took a turn for the worse. Gone by this point is the quirky narration, over-the-top humor, and relatable character. Once Wesley is turned loose into the world to track down his father's killer, the tone of the movie goes from fun and light-hearted, yet exciting, to overly dramatic and dark. The plot goes from original and entertaining to stereotypical and uninspired. Even the action scenes from this point forward, which certainly looked good, felt bogged down by the dull tone that the movie had by this point taken on. In a nutshell, I just stopped caring about Wesley and his plight. McAvoy's performance remained impressive, but the events he was involved in ceased to hold any real water for me. In the same way that the ending of the comic book series had let me down, Wanted fizzled out at the end. The only real difference is that while I really liked the first 5/6 of the comic, I really only enjoyed the first 2/5 or so of the film. There are a few moments following the film's climax in which it tries to recapture the fun, comedic approach that it had taken back in the beginning of it's running time, but by this point it had already strayed too far from that tone to bother attempting to capitalize on it again for me.

The Verdict: Despite many huge divergences from it's source material, the feature film version of Mark Millar's Wanted unfortunately falls into the same trap that it's predecessor had: a disappointing ending. The opening of the film and many of it's actors, concepts, and sequences were impressive to say the least, but I can't escape the feeling that all of the best aspects of the movie had been expended by it's halfway point. Had the film's entire running time embodied the fun, exciting, relatable nature of it's opening scenes, Wanted would surely be among my favorite films of 2008. As is, it has already found it's rightful place in the dark, dusty back corner of my memory alongside the comic book series off of which it is based.

Vantage Point: A Retrospective

2008-07-02T06:20:00.003-04:00

Vantage Point is one of those movies that deserves for you to catch the last twenty minutes on cable some five or six years from now. At this point you'll think to yourself "I remember when this movie came out. It looked pretty dumb, but it had that guy from LOST in it...oh yeah, Matthew Fox. I wonder what he's been up to since that show ended...Maybe I'll add Vantage Point to my Netflix (or whatever similar service exists in the theoretical future I'm predicting here) queue." Then you'll add it to the bottom of your queue, only to discover it there about a year and a half later, after it has slowly and silently crawled it's way up into your top fifteen, and you'll leave it there because you remember that one time several months ago you caught part of it on TV and you must have had some reason for adding it to your queue.

After a few weeks it will show up at your house and you'll leave it sitting on the coffee table for days, not really all that interested in watching it, at which point you'll consider sending the movie back without doing so. But then you'll perhaps meet a girl (or guy) somewhere, take them on a date, and end up back at your apartment. Of course, you'll quickly realize that you have nothing in common with one another as you look over your DVD (or at this point, roughly seven and a half years in the future, Blu-ray) collection together and bicker over the selection, your guest insulting all of your favorites like A Clockwork Orange and Big Trouble In Little China while singing the praises of whichever moronic summer comedy starring a former SNL "star" came out the previous year which he/she wishes you had on hand to watch.

Unable to decide on one of your own movies, you spy the rented copy of Vantage Point sitting on the table in the living room and suggest that the two of you watch it. Your guest hasn't seen it and neither have you, so you pop it in and sit through it quietly. When the movie ends the two of you will remain on the sofa of your home/apartment, an entire cushion between you, and make awkward conversation about how weird it was that the same series of events in the movie happened over and over as you try to explain that it was actually somewhat daring of the director to take this approach with his film, before he/she makes some excuse to leave which you honestly don't mind accepting as this relationship obviously isn't going anywhere and you'd just as soon go to sleep alone as try to coerce your guest into the sack.

The next morning as you drink coffee in front of your television, you'll eject Vantage Point from your next-gen (or by this point "modern-gen") player and stick it in it's return envelope for mailing back to it's rental company of origin. As you glance at the stereotypically uninventive, photoshopped artwork on the disc while placing it into the protective sleeve which you'll soon place among the rest of your outgoing mail, you'll stop and think to yourself, "Well, it wasn't a great movie, but it was probably the best part of that entire date."

And that, in a nutshell, explains my feelings on Vantage Point some three or four months after having watched it. At least I got my viewing of it out of the way by seeing it in the theater instead of having to go through the unrewarding charade I've unraveled above.

WIBW @ The Movies: THE HAPPENING

2008-06-21T03:12:00.000-04:00

The Plot: Humanity was going about it's day just like any other when something suddenly began to happen. Along the eastern United States, beginning in Central Park, New York, people began killing themselves en masse. As they attempt to escape the areas affected by the threat of unknown origin, a science teacher (Mark Wahlberg), his wife (Zooey Deschanel), their friend (John Leguizamo), and his daughter (Ashlyn Sanchez) slowly begin to piece together who and/or what is to blame for the happening.

The Review: What say we begin with a brief history of writer/director/producer M. Night Shayamalan's career? I've never seen Praying with Anger or Wide Awake, but I would bet that if you asked any average movie-goer what Shayamalan's first movie was, they'd answer "duh, The Sixth Sense". Without a doubt, that is the film which put Mr. M. Night on the map. I saw this movie when it came out back in 1999 and was lucky enough not to have the now well known twist ending ruined for me beforehand. I thought that the film was just okay. I didn't catch up with 2002's Unbreakable until after it arrived on DVD, but thoroughly enjoyed it for being an original take on the superhero genre. Signs also passed me by until it's release on home video, but came highly recommended from a few friends. As it turns out, to this day I still don't like Signs because of it's "twist" ending, which I view as being less of a twist and more "right out of left field". The trailers for The Village piqued my interest and it turned out to be the second of Shayamalan's four straight thrillers that I really liked. Oddly enough, the two which I enjoyed (Unbreakable and The Village) seemed to be the same two that weren't very popular with the majority of viewers. Then came Lady In The Water, which, following the unpopular The Village, only served to further bury Shayamalan's career under an ever-thickening layer of critical disapproval. In other words, it sucked. Cut to 2008 and the impending release of The Happening. I love a good mystery, especially if there is a possibility that science fiction will play a role in it, so the trailers for The Happening immediately captured my imagination. Not to mention, if the trend of my liking every other Shayamalan movie were to continue, after Lady In The Water I was due for an enjoyable time at the movies. So, did The Happening deliver?

Not entirely.

This movie is essentially one big question, that question being "what is causing the happening?" I'll start by saying that I will not be spoiling the answer to that query. However, I will say that one of the main problems that this films detractors have with it is the big secret. I, on the other hand, have no problem whatsoever with the cause behind the events of The Happening. I thought that it was a very original concept (though coincidentally quite similar to one other movie that has come out in recent memory), and had that been the only aspect of the film that it's non-fans were concerned with, I would be calling everyone who didn't enjoy The Happening a bunch of pretentious doo-doo heads. It is true that the film's "culprit" is a bit of a tough pill to swallow, but in my opinion it's really no different from George Romero asking his audiences to believe that dead people can come back to life, or Wolfgang Petersen expecting viewers to believe that a single monkey could cure the plague unleashed in Outbreak. It's certainly no less believable than a former baseball player beating the shit out of glasses of water that were left lying around the house by his sister because she's got a weird personality quirk in order to kill the aliens who are trying to kidnap their brother who just so happens to have an illness which protects him from the poison gasses they can spew from their wrists all because Mel Gibson's dead wife's last words were "swing away" and he remembered them at the exact moment that his family was attacked in M. Night Shayamalan's own movie Signs. And let's remember that after The Sixth Sense, that's probably his most popular film (at least it is according to sites such as Rotten Tomatoes).

So to bring that topic to a close, no, I didn't think that the big revelation of The Happening was a disappointment. To me it brought back memories of the kinds of horror stories that you can read in the old EC and Warren comics from the 50's to the late 70's and early 80's. Those comics stretched the boundaries of believability to be sure, but it was all for the enjoyment of the reader. Replace "reader" with viewer and you've got the same situation with The Happening in my eyes. Does that mean that anyone who's not a fan of this film is a pretentious doo-doo head, then? No, it doesn't. As it turns out, there are plenty of other reasons for people to complain about The Happening that don't directly relate to the movie's core concept.

I can't speak for anyone else when I say this, and based on what I've been reading around the web I certainly don't speak for very many people on this subject, but I thought that the acting in The Happening was overall very good. I've been hearing a lot of negative comments about Mark Wahlberg's performance, but I quite liked him in this role. What I didn't necessarily like so much were some of the lines and/or scenes that he was working with. A lot of the dialogue in The Happening felt very forced and out of place, but I thought that Wahlberg did the best he could with what he had and did an great job of giving the audience a main character that they could get behind and root for. On the other end of the spectrum, I couldn't stand Zooey Deschanel's character. She plays Wahlberg's wife, and almost every time she opened her mouth I wondered why Mark's character hadn't divorced her yet. She was whiny, annoying, and a generally unlikable person. This says something for Deschanel as it is impressive that she could create a character that had such an effect on me, but I was generally just pissed off every time she opened her mouth. One specific thing about her character that bugged the crap out of me was that she had problems showing her emotions to others, but more than once she openly talked to people about her fear of showing her emotions, which seemed to contradict the fact that she was supposedly so unable or unwilling to express how she was feeling. John Leguizamo has impressed me a few times over the course of his career, but tends to just be a rather meaningless addition to any cast. Here, I actually liked him quite a bit and felt that he brought something to the table. The last of the four main characters in The Happening is a young actress named Ashlyn Sanchez who plays Leguizamo's daughter. It's not hard for child characters to annoy me in movies, and I was often annoyed by this little girl. She did serve her purpose though, and since she was sharing most of her scenes with Zooey Deschanel's character, most of my hatred was usually aimed squarely at her instead of her young co-star.

So I liked some of the acting, though not all of it, and I enjoyed the basic concept of the film. Does that mean that my feelings on The Happening are positive overall? Absolutely not, and I'll tell you why. The acting and directing here range from passable to above average, but most of this movie's hang-ups come from the script. As I've already stated, I liked the basic premise, but the story was far from solid. The decisions of the characters often felt as though they were only trying to further the plot. That is, of course, how you make a movie work, but those decisions have to feel natural enough that they don't call attention to themselves. Too often things just seemed to fall into place or work out a little too perfectly, not necessarily for the characters, but for the filmmakers. For example, after some of our survivors reach a small house in the middle of a field the owner gives them one single piece of information about the house. Five minutes later, that single piece of information turns out to play a major part in the story. It just felt as though Shayamalan was force-feeding me things to make his movie work. The same fault comes into play multiple times as the characters begin to discover the big secret behind the events occurring around them. As I've said, the premise of The Happening is a bit out there, but instead of coming up with smooth, interesting ways for the characters to begin to put the pieces of the proverbial puzzle together, they instead simply happen to run into a strange fellow who has a theory about what's going on which just happens to be exactly what is in fact going on. Again, I felt as though M. Nigh was just throwing answers at me instead of weaving them into the plot.

Then there's the suspense. Or should I say lack of suspense. Large chunks of the population are being forced to kill themselves by some unseen force and I was hardly affected by it. Admittedly, I was pretty enthralled when some construction workers began throwing themselves from the roof of a work-site, but aside from that moment and perhaps one or two others, this "thriller" didn't do a whole lot to thrill me. The atmosphere just wasn't there. When I think about what this movie should have made me feel like, titles such as Alien, The Mist, and John Carpenter's The Thing come to mind. Instead The Happening felt a bit more like the film Tremors. There's nothing wrong with that movie, and in fact I love Tremors, but it's pretty light-hearted for a movie about giant killer worms. In the same way, The Happening is a bit too light-hearted for a movie about everyone suddenly turning suicidal and stabbing themselves in the neck with big needles. Tremors totally worked because it was meant to be an action/comedy/sci-fi romp, but The Happening is supposed to be a dread-inducing disaster movie. At least that's what the trailers led me to believe. But then, by definition trailers are meant to make the film in question look good. The trailer for The Happening succeeded. The movie itself didn't.

The Verdict: So many great things could have been done with the concept behind The Happening, but M. Night Shayamalan either didn't bother to explore those possibilities or just didn't do them justice. Mark Wahlberg tries his best to save the weak script he's been provided, but ultimately fails to do so. A few cheap scares aside, this film fails to earn the R rating that it was boasted as being the first Shayamalan film to receive. I liked the idea behind this film, but for this reviewer, a repeat viewing of The Happening won't be happening anytime soon (pun most definitely intended).

Netflix Rapid Fire Reviews - February '08

2008-06-18T07:20:00.000-04:00

Child's Play
While I have always loved horror movies, I tend to be more of a fan of monsters ripping people to shreds than weirdoes with knives chasing after cheerleaders, which is why I never bothered with the Chucky films before. I figured that it was about time I finally see this film though, since it's one of the classics of the genre, and much to my surprise I came away loving it. Perhaps this is because Chucky is as much a monster as he is a psycho with a knife, but I think it's mainly because the movie's plot was so original and the special effects were so well done. I've always been a huge fan of practical effects in movies, and considering that Howard Berger, one of the best modern special effects and make-up guys in Hollywood worked on this film, it's no wonder that Child's Play was so visually pleasing. However, gore and explosions do not a great movie make (though they do help), and what surprised me the most about this movie was the story. Sure it had some cheesy dialogue and revolves around a ludicrous concept, but the filmmakers managed to walk an incredibly thin line between humor and horror so well that everything worked perfectly in my opinion. I finally see what all the fans of this film have known since the eighties, and let me tell you, it feels good.

Jackie Chan's First Strike
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Jackie Chan movies are only as good as their fight scenes. So how are the fight scenes in Jackie Chan's First Strike? Pretty damn good. The main one that comes to mind takes place in a large hall of some sort with a balcony that looks as though it's being prepared for some sort of party or gathering. The most notable portion of this fight involves Jackie fending off a horde of bad guys with staffs by wielding a regular, garden variety aluminum ladder. If you've seen this action sequence before, you've surely never forgotten it. As far as fight scene props are concerned, the ladder in this sequence is absolutely one of the most inventive and entertaining objects that Chan (or any other action star, I would wager) has ever used in an onscreen battle. The only word I can think of to describe this fight scene is "breathtaking". The other action sequence that immediately comes to mind when I think about First Strike is the climactic underwater battle. I've seen my share of similar sequences, most of which are slow and boring, but with the inclusion of sharks, Jackie's patented brand of comedy, and some ingenuitive choreography to the equation, the submerged tussle between Chan and some tough guys in a water tank at an aquarium is easily the most exciting and entertaining underwater fight I have ever witnessed. The only thing that First Strike is really missing, as is the case with many of Jackie Chan's films, is a worthwhile story, but if you're a fan of the Chan you should know well enough by now that the plot isn't the reason why these types of films are worth watching.

Idiocracy
Who doesn't love the movie Office Space? My guess is that the only people who don't are those who have never seen it. Then again, who hasn't seen that movie? It plays at least once a day on Comedy Central, it seems. Why do I bring up Office Space? Because ever since I first saw and fell in love with that film years ago I've been eagerly awaiting a follow-up feature from writer/director Mike Judge. Skip to the year 2006. A little movie called Idiocracy soars so far enough below the radar that I'm not even sure it ever had a theatrical release, because the first time I heard about it was when I saw a copy of the DVD sitting on a shelf in Blockbuster. Admittedly, despite my appreciation of Judge's Office Space, when I read the plot synopsis of Idiocracy, I was a bit turned off. An average Joe (played by Luke Wilson) is cryogenically frozen and wakes up in the future to find that he is now the smartest person alive because society has been dumbed down by laziness, fast food, and cable TV to the point that even one of the least intelligent people in modern day is a genius by comparison. I was skeptical to say the least, and as it turns out, my initial reaction was almost spot on. Idiocracy was fairly idiotic. Yes, there were some funny moments and original concepts, but all in all I just wasn't interested in jokes about the president being a gangster and TV shows dedicated to people getting hit in the balls. The film's core was an intelligent idea, but it was surrounded by so many MAD TV-style jokes that I found myself rolling my eyes rather than rolling on the floor with laughter. Idiocracy isn't the worst film I've ever seen, but Office Space it is not.

Supercop
Though it is shortened to simply "Supercop" in America, the full title of this film is actually "Police Story 4: Supercop". Honestly though, the name change doesn't bother me much because this films doesn't really feel like much of a sequel to the first two Police Story films to me. Sure, it's got Jackie playing Inspector Chan and Maggie Cheung as his hapless girlfriend May, but the action and tone of this film feels a little less serious than it's predecessors if that makes any sense. Think about how the original Die Hard featured some pretty off the wall action sequences, but when Live Free Or Die Hard came out it took the action to a whole new level of un-believability. Well, to me the same thing has happened here. This by no means means that Supercop is a bad movie, just that it feels different from the Police Story franchise to me. The easiest difference between this film and the first two Police Story films is of course the addition of Michelle Yeoh to the cast as Inspector Yang. Her character marks the first instance in which Inspector Chan has had a partner or sidekick, but Yeoh fits into the mix fairly well. Her character's super-serious nature only adds to the humor which Chan's films already tend to have, and she handles herself extremely well in the midst of the action that we've all come to expect from a Jackie Chan film. As for the plot, Yeoh's Inspector Yang teams up with Inspector Chan to help bring down a drug lord, who at some point during the plot takes May captive. The highlights of the action here are the (literally) explosive battle at the drug lord's hideout in the jungle and the climactic set piece atop a moving train.

Creepshow
As a big fan of horror movies and a major comic book nerd, it only seems natural that I would eventually track down and watch Creepshow, a film comprised of short horror segments based upon the EC comic books of the 40's and 50's. As it turns out though, having seen the movie, I would have much rather spent the 2 hours of it's running time actually reading some of those old comics that Creepshow was an homage to as opposed to sitting through the film. I found moments of worth throughout Creepshow's five short segments, but overall felt that it failed to invoke the same feeling of delight and admiration while watching it that I tend to have when I look through the ratty old horror and sci-fi mags that I have at my disposal. The first segment (starring Ed Harris) was definitely the most dull of the lot in my opinion, and thus a rather poor way to begin the movie. The second segment, which stars writer Stephen King and feels more comical than horrific, was probably my favorite. The rest of the segments were just fairly forgettable (a statement proven by the fact that as I type this I'm having trouble remembering what they were even about). I like the idea of anthology films and I love the idea of paying homage to EC comics and their other pre-comic-code brethren, but in my opinion Stephen King and George Romero largely missed their mark with Creepshow.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
To read this review, click here.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
To read this review, click here.

The Omega Man
As I continue to make use of Netflix as a way to catch up on all of the classic films from the past that I've missed out on the joy of watching over the years, I would have undoubtedly gotten around to sitting down with a copy of The Omega Man eventually, but in all honesty, the recent release of I Am Legend (a remake of The Omega Man) bumped this film up a few notches on my list of cinematic priorities. Audiences seemed fairly divided by I Am Legend, but I find myself more personally conflicted in my feelings on The Omega Man. The core concept is classic material by this point considering that there are now three different adaptations of the original source material spanning more than 40 years of Hollywood's history. In a post-apocalyptic setting, one man (sometimes accompanied by a canine companion), be it Vincent Price, Charlton Heston, or most recently Will Smith, must make a stand against varying types of vampires, zombies, and or cult members to keep the human race from going completely extinct. As far as those villains are concerned, I think that The Omega Man has the weakest threat of the three cinematic versions of this story. The "bad guys" here are essentially albinos who can't go outside during the day and want to destroy all technology and live like the Amish. They're less threatening than the inhuman creatures of The Last Man On Earth or I Am Legend, and in my opinion that is The Omega Man's biggest downfall. I love all of the scenes of Heston's character trying to survive on his own and essentially going on with his life, but any conflicts he is involved in just seem silly based on the foes he's confronting. All in all, The Omega Man is a very watch-able film, but it's not without it's flaws. Unfortunately, while I enjoy all three films based on Richard Matheson's original novel I Am Legend, I don't honestly feel that any of them have done the concept the full level of justice that it so obviously deserves.

Body Snatchers (1993)
To read this review, click here.

The People vs. Larry Flynt
I'm not sure just how much of Milos Forman's film documenting the life of Hustler Magazine founder Larry Flynt is true and how much of it is fabricated to make the narrative more wild and entertaining, but I don't really care, because whatever combination of fact and fiction he used to tell his story is, it's perfect. I love a good "true story" movie; especially if it's about an extremely unique person such as Larry Flynt. Part of the fun of watching a movie like The People vs. Larry Flynt is being able to live vicariously through the lives of people who are much more interesting than you'll ever be. Watching Woody Harrelson throw an orange at a judge and knowing that it may have actually happened in the real life of the person he was depicting just made for a fun viewing experience. Speaking of Harrelson, while I've seen him in numerous films before, I don't think I've ever liked him as much as I did in The People vs. Larry Flynt. Not necessarily because I liked the person he was playing, but because this role required a lot of dedication from it's actor and I could totally see the work that Woody put into it. Edward Norton and Crispin Glover were welcome additions to the cast as they're both great character actors, and even Courtney Love was (I thought) exceptionally good in her role as Flynt's love interest. This movie could be a tough sell to some people depending on their views and ability to sympathize with an often unsympathetic individual, but for my money, watching The People vs. Larry Flynt is a great way to spend two hours and nine minutes of your time.

Crime Story
Crime Story is somewhat of an enigma to me. The main star of the film is Jackie Chan, but there are hardly any fight scenes or stunts to be seen. There is a chase here and a quick tussle there, but overall this movie focuses way more on plot and drama than any of Chan's other films that I've seen. This is especially curious since this movie came out in 1993, well before Chan's more recent string of less-than-impressive films in which he can no longer pull off the stunt work that he used to be able to. I'm in no way opposed to a Jackie Chan vehicle with more plot than punches though, so I'm willing to accept the fact that this movie is rather dry in the action department, but the simple fact is that without all of the flips and kicks to keep the audience entertained while sitting through a Chan film, the story has to take over and do most of the heavy lifting, which it does not really do in this case. I admit, the quality of the acting was overall better in Crime Story than in most of Jackie's more adrenaline-driven films, but the plot was just as simple as any of those others. Chan is a cop who's trying to track down some kidnappers and discovers that there's a traitor in his midst. There were no real twists or turns to speak of either, which led to my feeling that the film dragged a bit too much between the very rare fight sequences. The climax in the burning building isn't bad, but if you're looking for excitement, try out some of the other films in Jackie Chan's library of kung-fu flicks.

Slacker
This film was one of the biggest indie sensations of the 90's, which I've been well aware of for years, but it wasn't until I heard director Kevin Smith state on his podcast that it was the film that inspired him to make movies that I decided to track it down and watch it. The simplest way for me to describe my feelings on Slacker is to say that if I were Kevin Smith, I'd probably still be working at the Quik Stop because the only thing that this movie inspired me to do was hit the fast forward button, which I almost did multiple times while viewing it. I was with the film for the first fifteen minutes or so as I wondered where the movie was going and when the plot would kick in. As it turns out, the plot never kicks in (because there isn't one) and the movie goes nowhere. All Slacker is is a series of conversations between random people about random things. Person A talks to person B for five minutes, then person B leaves and goes to talk to person C, then person C leaves and goes to talk to person D, and so on and so forth up until about person X or Y. There was just nothing about this movie to keep me interested. I'm sure that there are several other people out there who, like Smith, see some artistic merit or deeper meaning to this film, but I'm just not one of them.

Quiz Show
A man who genuinely wants to give his best shot at being a winner on a popular television trivia game show is initially appalled at the idea of being allowed to cheat by the producers of the program, but eventually settles into a life full of lies and deceit, becoming the biggest bread winner ever to grace the small screen. The man in question soon learns that no good thing can last forever, however, when the studio executives decide that it's time for hie reign at the quiz show champion to end, which leads to the discovery by the media, and the public in general, that his entire run on the show was a scripted ruse. Based on true events that took place during the 1950's, Robert Redford's Quiz Show is entertaining, but not necessarily what I would call a solid film. The pace of the film dragged a bit for me at times, and I honestly felt that the running time (which is in excess of two hours) could have been trimmed a bit. The story being told is very interesting, perhaps even moreso if you're aware that the events taking place really (in some capacity at least) happened, but I could have done without a small amount of the movie's unnecessary exposition. If Quiz Show had chugged along at a bit more brisk of a pace, I feel as though I would have been able to enjoy it a bit more, but short of that critique, there's not much to complain about. The directing is solid, the plot (as I mentioned) is interesting and entertaining, and the acting is top-notch (particularly in the cases of both Ralph Fiennes and John Turturro).

The Lawnmower Man
I'm not sure if it was the peculiar title or the abnormal artwork on the front of the VHS/DVD packaging for The Lawnmower Man, but for some reason I've always wanted to see this movie. It certainly couldn't have been much else that drew me to it, because up until the moment that I pressed play on my DVD player I really had no clue what the hell this film was about. What is it about, then? A scientist (Pierce Brosnan) working with an unprecedented new virtual reality technology loses touch with his life and becomes too wrapped up in his work, experimenting on a simple-minded yard-worker (Jeff Fahey) in his free time. By the time the scientist realizes the consequences that could come from his work, his test subject has transformed from an unassuming simpleton into a megalomaniacal freak of nature. The main thing that one must remember when watching The Lawnmower Man in this day and age is that back when it was made, this film was employing the use of cutting edge visual effects. The visuals are fairly laughable and hard to take seriously nowadays, but if you can wipe the condescending grin off of your face long enough to become engrossed in the plot, The Lawnmower Man is actually a pretty decent science fiction/cyberpunk movie. There are some interesting high concepts at work which are constantly battling the cheesy acting and poor special effects, and unfortunately the acting and effects come out on top a bit more often than the intriguing concepts and story. Don't be fooled by your eyes though; there is some validity to what's going on onscreen.

Planet of the Apes (1968)
Over the years I've always felt that I owed it to myself to see the original 1968 version of Planet of the Apes because it's such a classic, iconic, and well known film, but I honestly never had much interest in it. Part of the reason for my disinterest is probably that I (along with, I assume, everyone else of sound mind in the world) knew what the twist ending was already. Still, as I said, I felt obliged to see the film since it's a classic, and I honestly came away from it a bit surprised. Not by the twist ending of course, but by the fact that the movie was so damn enjoyable despite the fact that the climax had been spoiled for me years prior to my viewing it. The main misconception I'd had about this film, it turns out, is that it hinged on the final shot and the now famous line therein, but what I'd never realized until I actually saw the movie is that it has so much more worth throughout the entire running time than just those last sixty seconds or so which everyone knows about. The plot in general was much more interesting and gripping than I'd imagined it would be. A lot of very intriguing concepts involving the future of the Earth and communication between species are touched upon. The main conflict of the film isn't just apes versus humans either, but instead it focuses around a battle of logic over pride and tradition. In simple terms, Planet of the Apes was just a lot smarter than I expected it to be. We're not talking about Stephen Hawking here, but if you've always thought that Planet of the Apes was just about big monkeys whipping Charlton Heston and dragging him around on a leash, you (just like I did) have another thing coming. Also, the make-up effects looked a lot better than I expected them to for 1968, which accounts for an extra added thumbs up from me.

The Hudsucker Proxy
If you want to look at their catalogue of work in fairly broad strokes (and when I say "fairly" in this case, I mean "very"), the Coen brothers seem to enjoy making two specific types of films: crime dramas such as Blood Simple, Miller's Crossing, Fargo, The Man Who Wasn't There, and No Country For Old Men, and crime comedies such as Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Intolerable Cruelty, and The Ladykillers. Looking at this trend, there are only two Coen brothers movies which I don't really feel fit into either of those categories based on the simple fact that neither of them really center around crime as a focal point. Those films are Barton Fink, which is a straight-up (though rather heady) drama, and The Hudsucker Proxy, which I would simply call a comedy. The Hudsucker Proxy is also the only movie I can think of which cries out for me to describe it as "charming". There's just something so likable and innocent about this film. Perhaps it's the main character (played by Tim Robbins) who acts like a big kid with a positive outlook on everything despite the questionable environments he tends to occupy, or perhaps it's the fancy-free directorial style of the film which is obviously very well thought out and professional, but at the same time gives the events of the movie an air of fantasy, almost like a fairy tale for adults. The plot focuses around a small town man who, through a set of rather (unbeknownst to him) diabolical circumstances arranged by his boss (who is played by Paul Newman), ends up being set up to fail as the sudden head of a massive corporation, but who unexpectedly thrives in his position of power. There are a lot of very specific scenes, themes, and reasons that I could cite as to why I think that everyone can enjoy, and should see, The Hudsucker Proxy, but just suffice to say that it is an excellent film on every conceivable level.

Porko Rosso
From Hayao Miyazaki, the mind that gave us Princess Mononoke, Nausicaa, Howl's Moving Castle, and Spirited Away, comes the story of a 1930's fighter pilot with the head of a pig. That's right. After watching the spirits of his fellow pilots ascend to heaven after they were all killed in a particularly bloody air battle, Porko Rosso is cursed to have the head of a pig. This affliction may be embarrassing, but it doesn't stop him from being the best pilot in the skies. Porko continues taking odd jobs to keep himself in food, drink, and supplies with which to fix up his famed red plane, but when he's in need of some major work on his ride, he flies into unfriendly skies to acquire the aid of an old friend and a spunky young aircraft designer/mechanic. Of Miyazaki's other films, I've only seen Princess Mononoke, Nausicaa, and Spirited Away. I wasn't crazy about Spirited Away (although it looked spectacular), but I quite like the other two, and Porko Rosso stacks up right beside both of them as some of the best 2D animated films that I've seen in recent memory. The story is interesting and entertaining, there's a healthy dose of humor that hits it's mark every time, the characters are unique and lovable, the action is thrilling, and the animation is absolutely beautiful. The one aspect of Porko Rosso that I was a bit disappointed by was the voice acting. Most of the voices were fine, but I specifically had a problem with Michael Keaton's performance as Rosso himself. In general I really like Keaton as an actor, but he just sounded as though he didn't really give a damn about what he was recording to me in this case. It wouldn't be such a big deal, but since he was providing the voice of the films main character I was a little annoyed with his performance. Aside from that though, Rosso is a wholly enjoyable film that I can't wait to watch again and again.

Romance & Cigarettes
When I received a text message from a friend recommending that I watch a movie called Romance & Cigarettes based on the fact that at one point during the film Christopher Walken fights some police officers while in the midst of performing a choreographed musical number, there was absolutely no way that I could avoid immediately adding said film to my Netflix queue. Much to my delight, the sequence in question plays out just as I'd anticipated based on the summary given to me via text message, but as for the rest of the film, I most certainly cannot say that I expected just about anything else that occurred during it's running time. Written and directed by actor John Turturro, Romance & Cigarettes is indeed a musical. It's story involves a man named Nick Murder (James Gandolfini) whose marriage to his wife Kitty (Susan Sarandon) begins to fall apart when she discovers that he's been having an affair with a whimsical younger woman named Tula (Kate Winslet). Honestly, aside from the previously mentioned musical number starring Christopher Walken, I can't think of a whole lot about this movie to rave about. However, at the same time I know that it must have some other redeeming qualities because I did manage to enjoy myself while I was watching it. The plot may sound simple and stereotypical enough, but the addition of singing and dancing places this film into a whole different ball park from where I'd expect it to reside. I suppose that the best way I can sum up the experience of watching this movie for other interested parties out there is with the phrase "expect the unexpected".

No More Monsters

2008-06-16T16:33:00.002-04:00

The news has just come out today that visual effects mastermind Stan Winston has died. We are officially one step closer to monster movies never being the same again. Aliens, Predator, The Terminator, T2, The Thing, and Jurassic Park are many of the movies whose effects blew my mind the first time around and still manage to do so with every repeat viewing. This man's special effects helped to shape my childhood imagination and gave me a love and respect for horror/sci-fi films that Hollywood has been trying it's damnedest to rob me of for years now. I shed a collective tear for the film industry.

Bye, Stan. This nerd's gonna miss you.

WIBW @ The Movies: THE INCREDIBLE HULK

2008-06-14T21:49:00.002-04:00

The Plot: After a freak accident in his laboratory, Dr. Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) has been changed. Whenever he becomes too angry or excited, he loses control over his body and transforms into a large, green monster known as the Hulk. On the run from the United States government who want to use the Hulk as a weapon, Bruce continually attempts to find a way to cure himself of his burden. General Ross (Willaim Hurt) may have gone too far, however, when he hired a mercenary named Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) to track down Banner. In the end, Blonsky may be more of a threat than the Hulk ever was.

The Review: Ever since I first saw director Ang Lee's take on the Hulk back in 2003 I've been a fan of that film. Sure it had it's problems, but I've enjoyed repeated viewings of it over the years since it's release. On the other hand, the majority of the movie-going community has vocally felt otherwise concerning Lee's film, which is why this time around Louis Leterrier, a director known for his high-intensity action films, was chosen to helm the green goliath's second feature film romp. A shorter running time, more eye candy, and less character development were the main ingredients used in Marvel's attempt to give audiences a tastier treat than Lee delivered five years prior. The question is: did they achieve their desired result?

In my opinion, not really.

To set the record straight right off the bat, I liked The Incredible Hulk. I thought that it was an enjoyable movie with a lot of good things going for it. Leterrier, Norton, and company improved upon a few of the flaws from Ang Lee's film, but simultaneously delivered a few of their own. First, lets look at the characters. Ever since Edward Norton was announced to be playing Bruce Banner in this film I was behind the choice one hundred percent, and after seeing the film I still feel this way. Norton wasn't a tough sell for me because in general he's one of my favorite actors, but beyond my devotion to him as a fan, I really think he took to this role well. He's meek enough to be believable as a scientist, but there's also enough going on behind his eyes to convince the audience that there's more to him than his non-threatening exterior. One of my few complaints about Lee's 2003 film was that genEric Bana (aka Eric Bland-a) seemed a bit too one dimensional and stiff. He never really convinced me that he was right to play the man who became a giant green powerhouse, which is not at all true in Norton's case.

As far as actresses are concerned, I'm a pretty big fan of Liv Tyler, but she didn't do much to impress me in The Incredible Hulk. I blame this fact moreso on the script she was working from than on her own lack of ability, though. In Lee's Hulk the character of Betty Ross (played then by Jennifer Connelly) was given a lot more to do than just be Banner's emotional crutch, which is why I was a bigger fan of her character in that film than in this one. Similarly, I felt that William Hurt's immense acting talent was fairly well wasted in Leterrier's Incredible Hulk. While General Thunderbolt Ross has never been a villain who the Hulk could literally fight one on one, he's Bruce Banner's true nemesis. As such, I wish that we would have gotten more from his character than just popping up onscreen to look like a dick every now and then. Honestly, Sam Elliot's portrayal of Ross in Ang Lee's movie never really got much of a chance to shine either, leading me to wonder why such an important character in the world of the Hulk is so frequently short-changed. Finally, we come to the true villain of The Incredible Hulk: Emil Blonsky aka the Abomination. Tim Roth was (not surprisingly) one of the best parts of this film. The transformation his character goes through during the movie (no pun intended) is rather extreme and the way his arc is told is often rushed to allow more focus on Banner, but Roth's sheer acting ability manages to make the viewer forget that what they're watching is so preposterous and sometimes poorly executed by the filmmakers. Simply put, he stole every scene he was in.

In the case of the live action Transformers movie from last year, I've heard some people say that they were disinterested in the action sequences because it's hard to invest your emotions in a bunch of huge CG characters beating the hell out of each other. I can agree with that sentiment, but in The Incredible Hulk this thought never crossed my mind. I cared enough about the Hulk and his adversary that I was with them the whole way even though their duel was a rather incredible sight to behold. Also, the CG and cinematography were clear and concise enough that I had no problem following the action. I even delighted to some of the more silly moments of action including a moment which I will only refer to as the "Hulk clap". My favorite action sequence of the movie though, has got to be the scene in which Blonsky, Ross, and a large group of soldiers confront Banner on a college campus. For one thing, it took place during the day so it made everything that much easier to take in in the unobscured broad daylight. I also really enjoyed the brief showdown with Blonsky and the "sound wave cannons" employed by the army in this sequence which I felt worked really well to evoke the phrase "comic book movie".

It's not all grins and admiration when it comes to my opinions on The Incredible Hulk, though. A specific part of the movie that sticks out in my mind as one of those moments when I sat in the movie asking myself "what the hell is going on here?!" came immediately following my aforementioned favorite action scene of the film. The Hulk has just protected Betty from a large explosion and is engulfed in flames. As I stated earlier, this scene took place clearly in broad daylight. However, immediately following the explosion that puts Betty in danger, it suddenly starts raining for no apparent reason. Well, that's not entirely true. The apparent reason is that the filmmakers wanted to get rid of those flames as quickly as possible and rather than coming up with a better solution for their problem they just opted to take control of the heavens and use them to their advantage. One of my pickier qualms with the movie is a scene in New York City involving a taxi cab and it's over the top driver. I assume that this scene was supposed to be funny, but the humor was lost on me. I much preferred humorous moments such as when Bruce and Betty are about to "do the deed" in a seedy hotel room. However picky my complaints about The Incredible Hulk may seem thus far, my biggest problem with the film was that it was in fact missing what I liked so much about Ang Lee's version: the character. The Incredible Hulk was meant as somewhat of a mindless action-packed romp with which the general movie-goer could wash the dramatic, plot-driven 2003 Hulk film taste out of their mouths. While it may have succeeded in doing just that, as a fan of Ang Lee's film, this one just felt like a step down to me.

The Verdict: The fight scenes are exciting and easy to follow, the CG is top-notch, and the story is easy to follow. The plot may be a bit too simple and rushed, and some of the characters could use a serious shot of character development, but The Incredible Hulk is a decent action movie. So long as what you're interested in is indeed an "action movie", Louis Leterrier's take on Marvel Comics' classic Jekyll and Hyde character shouldn't disappoint.

Hold On To Your Potatoes!: An Indiana Jones Review-Fest

2008-05-26T03:45:00.009-04:00

Raiders of the Lost Ark
Archaeologist and part-time professor Indiana Jones spans the globe with a whip and a fedora in search of the fabled Ark of the Covenant in hopes of finding it before a gang of Nazis have the chance to dig it up and use it's powers for evil. You probably already knew that, though. Since the theatrical debut of Raiders in 1981, Indiana Jones has become as much of a recognizable household name as George Washington, Darth Vader, and Bugs Bunny. To this day it remains one of the most cherished films and film franchises in the history of cinema, and I'm sure that you hardly need me to explain why, but I'm going to anyway. With the help of creator George Lucas and director Steven Spielberg, Harrison Ford created a lovable, memorable character in Indiana Jones, whom is the backbone upon which Raiders of the Lost Ark (and it's sequels) are balanced. He's level-headed and courageous, while at the same time very down-to-Earth and not without a sense of humor, making him both easy to relate to and someone to idolize. Other characters in Raiders, such as Miriam (Karen Allen) and Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), are likable and entertaining as well, while villains like Major Toht (Ronald Lacey) give us someone truly despicable to root against. Raiders infuses an intriguing plot, breathtaking action, a pinch of mysticism, a helping of romance (though not too much for the tough guys in the audience), and numerous well-placed moments of comedy into one of the most well-rounded films of all time; though probably most notable is the action. I suppose that it says enough about the quality set-pieces in this film that there's an entire stunt show attraction at Universal Studios based around the film's opening scene which still wows live audiences to this day, but the giant boulder and other booby traps aren't the only armrest-grabbing moments that Raiders of the Lost Ark has to offer. The hand-to-hand combat scene on the dig-site tarmac and truck chase sequence are both fine examples of expert filmmaking in the action genre. From one of the most memorable cinematic openings of all time, right up until the film's final moments when we get to see what every movie-goer since World War 1 has wanted to see (several Nazis' heads melting and/or exploding), I can't think of a single moment of Raiders of the Lost Ark that isn't 100% worthy of all five of the stars which I've given it in my rating.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
This time around, Indy, a young Chinese orphan known as Short Round (Jonathan Ke Quan), and a gorgeous American singer named Willy (Kate Capshaw) are on a journey to recover an ancient, magical stone from an evil kidnapping cult in order to save the inhabitants of an innocent village in India. Temple of Doom is widely regarded as the worst of the original Indiana Jones trilogy, and I was admittedly a member of that bandwagon for a long time myself. However, upon taking a closer look at Temple, I've realized the error of my ways. Lets look at the facts. The main complaint that I hear about Temple of Doom is that it "doesn't feel like the other Indiana Jones movies". The reasons for this seem to be that 1.) there are no Nazis, 2.) Indy never leaves India or visits the school where he teaches, and 3.) it doesn't involve any Christian artifacts. Honestly though, I'm fine with all of those things. To me, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom still feels like it is a worthy part of the series. You've still got all the humor, interesting, mystical plot points, and romance of the other films, just with a new set of villains and a slightly different cause driving the plot. The tone is the same as it usually is, there's a sometimes lovable, sometimes annoying romantic interest, and there's a comedic sidekick. What more could you want? Action, you say? Look no further. The opening action sequence in the Chinese night club is both exciting and humorous. The mine cart chase is not only amazing to look at from a technical standpoint, but also wildly thrilling, and evokes memories of the truck chase in the previous Jones film. Then of course, there's the showdown on the rope bridge which is perhaps one of the most copied sequences in the history of action/adventure filmmaking. The premise revolving around a set of magical stones is no more unbelievable to me than the magical ark in Raiders, and though some may be offended by my saying so, I don't find a cult of people worshipping some manner of demon any more outlandish than the premise that the stories from the bible are supposedly true in the world of Indiana Jones as suggested by Raiders (and eventually The Last Crusade). All in all, I consider Raiders of the Lost Ark to be a slightly better film, but in my opinion, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom occupies a perfectly worthy spot beside it atop the zenith of action/adventure filmmaking.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
When Henry Jones Sr. (Sean Connery) goes missing during one of his many quests for the biblical holy grail, Indiana Jones sets out on a quest to not only locate and save his father's life, but also to get his hands on the grail before yet another band of Nazis can manage to. Considered by many (including director Steven Spielberg himself) to be the best installment of the original Indiana Jones trilogy, The Last Crusade capped off the franchise for nearly two decades, and it did so in style. Taking more cues from the first film of the series than from the less popular Temple of Doom, Crusade once again throws Nazis into the mix, as well mystical Christian artifacts and a familiar face or two (namely Sallah [John Rhys-Davies] and Marcus Brody [Denholm Elliot]). New additions to the cast include romantic interest and evil seductress Esla Schneider (Alison Doody) and (as I previously mentioned) Sean Connery as Indiana Jones' father Henry. Connery takes the place of Jones' previous sidekicks Miriam, Short Round, and Willy as a source of camaraderie for the title character, as well as a frequent springboard for comedy. He fits perfectly into both the Indiana Jones universe and into the role of Indy's father (despite only actually being 12 years older than Ford). Once again, and not surprisingly, the action in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is nearly without rival. The opening sequence features River Phoenix as a young Indiana Jones in perhaps his first adventure, serving up equal doses of excitement, humor, and (for fans of the previous installments of the franchise) nostalgia. Not long afterward comes a speed boat chase through Venice which is (in my opinion) one of the least impressive helpings of action in the series, but still more impressive than most of the action fare available anywhere else. Most notable of the nail-biters in The Last Crusade, however, is the tank chase sequence. Lasting an incredibly long time, characters chase one another in jeeps, tanks, and on horseback, evade explosive rounds from a cannon, fight inside of, on top of, and while hanging off the edge of heavily armored vehicles moving at top speed through narrow desert canyons, and ultimately face the wrath of gravity as a runaway tank nears the edge of a cliff. This sequence is truly an experience in and of itself. Taking into account how many franchises fall apart after their first installments, it's hard to imagine that all three of the films in the original Indiana Jones trilogy can be of such an equally high level of quality, but for my money all three movies, including Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, occupy the same impressive league.

WIBW @ The Movies: INDIANA JONES and the KINGDOM of the CRYSTAL SKULL

2008-05-25T18:28:00.005-04:00

The Plot: After a debacle involving some Russians, a crate stolen from Area 51, and a nuclear explosion, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is fingered by the FBI as a possible communist spy. In an attempt to get out of harm's way, Jones meets up with a young greaser who goes by the name Mutt (Shia LaBeouf), insisting that Indy help him to locate his mentor and his mother, who have both been kidnapped as part of a scheme to uncover the mystery behind a legendary set of ancient crystal skull artifacts.

The Review: While I've never claimed to be the world's biggest fan of the original Indiana Jones trilogy, they are as much a cherished part of my childhood as Back to the Future, Star Wars, or any of the other major action/fantasy franchises of the eighties. I never necessarily wanted to see a fourth Indiana Jones film made, but when word of one finally began to come down the grapevine as more than mere rumors, I took notice and, like all other fans of the original trilogy, began eagerly counting down the days until it's release. Let's start with the good, shall we?

When he was in his prime, Harrison Ford was just about the coolest guy around. While not exactly in his prime anymore, he's still pretty badass. Very early on in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull I had a hard time accepting such an old, weathered face as Indiana Jones, but those feelings of hesitance quickly faded as Ford fell right back into the role he made famous back in the earl eighties. By the time Miriam Ravenwood (Karen Allen), Jones' old flame, made her first appearance in this film, Harrison had completely reassured my confidence in his ability to pull off the role of a wisecracking archaeologist adventurer despite his age and appearance. Speaking of Karen Allen, it took much less time for me to accept her once again as her character from Raiders of the Lost Ark. In fact, it took no time at all. She was great from the moment she stepped onscreen to the last scene before the credits rolled.

Notable new additions to the Indiana Jones mythos this time around were the evil Irina Spalko as played by Cate Blanchett and the previously mentioned Shia LaBeouf in the role of Mutt Williams. Blanchett, who has proven herself (in my book anyway) as one of the best actresses working today (in such films as The Life Aquatic, The Gift, Babel, and The Aviator), didn't disappoint. Her Russian accent was spot on for the passionate and evil character she was portraying, and her presence alone created a very memorably despicable villain. As for LaBeouf, he once again impressed the hell out of me in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Out of the eight performances I'd seen from him prior to this film, I hadn't disliked a single one, even in cases such as Constantine or Transformers when I either disliked the character he was playing or flat-out didn't like the movie. Despite his age, Shia is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors, and his performance in Indiana Jones is a perfect example of why that is. He can seemingly handle an entire range of emotions with believability and ease, his comedic timing is always spot on, and he's just a generally likable guy.

The actors aside, there are several other things that I greatly enjoyed about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Namely the action. Most notable is the truck chase sequence through the jungle leading up to the film's climax. The non-stop action and excitement of this scene along with the incredible ingenuity involved with it's set-up and execution fell right in line with the action scenes from all three of the previous Indiana Jones films. While watching it, it's hard not to recall the truck chase from Raiders of the Lost Ark, the mine cart chase from Temple of Doom, and the tank chase sequence in The Last Crusade. If there was a single moment during Kingdom of the Crystal Skull when my mind reverted back to the way it was in my childhood when I first absorbed those scenes in my youth, it was during the (majority of the) jungle chase scene. Another action sequence that sticks out in my mind as evoking the true tone and sensibilities of the Indiana Jones franchise is the motorcycle chase toward the beginning of the film involving Mutt and Indy attempting to evade capture by the KGB. Outside of the action, however, there are plenty of other nods to the original trilogy including the music and the use of montage scenes involving that little red line on a map showing the viewer where Indy and co. are headed next. Before your eyes glaze over in nostalgic delight though, it's time to switch gears from the good to the bad.

I'll start off light. The cartoony gophers or groundhogs or whatever during the desert scenes at the beginning of Crystal Skull? What the hell was the deal there? Those gophers did nothing but take me out of the moment and evoke bad memories of the silly crap that George Lucas felt the need to infuse into his re-releases of the original Star Wars trilogy. They were unnecessary and just plain dumb. Also along those lines were the giant ants in the scene directly following the truck chase through the jungle. I liked the ants and enjoyed watching them attack the Russian villains, but when they began building a little ant-ladder out of one another to reach Cate Blanchett's character as she hung from a vine out of their reach? Stupid. At that moment it felt like I was watching a Mickey Mouse cartoon. Also, let us not forget the Tarzan/Spiderman scene with Shia and the monkeys (and really, how could you?). It's moments like this one that are not only unlikely, but downright dumb, which totally ruin the tone of the movie. Yes, we're dealing with a light-hearted action/adventure tale, but Shia LaBeouf swinging through the jungle on vines with monkeys? Indiana Jones surviving a nuclear explosion by hiding inside of a refrigerator and being launched hundreds of yards through the desert? Bullshit.

Now that I've covered the good and the bad, it's time for the downright ugly. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull had all of the cards stacked against it from the beginning. It's always a daring move to attempt to revive a series long after it seemed to have ended. It can be done as the most recent Rocky and Rambo films have shown us, but seems more likely to fail as proven by Superman Returns, The Godfather Part III, and Terminator III, among others. Seemingly, however, the people in charge of all the major decisions behind The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull just didn't want their film to be any good, and there's one very clear piece of evidence for this claim: the ending. Despite it's flaws, I was with Crystal Skull through the majority of the running time. I was willing to accept some hiccups in the plot and flow of the film here and there and actually (as evidenced above) ended up liking a lot of what the movie had to offer, but any respectability that Spielberg and Lucas put into their film was completely shattered by it's climax. I normally don't venture too far into spoiler territory in my reviews, but I feel compelled to delve into the specifics of what made this movie so bad.

Aliens. Okay, why not? I can deal with an alien skeleton here and there in an Indiana Jones movie. Thirteen alien skeletons morphing into one real live alien which triggers a giant inter-dimensional flying saucer to rise out of the Earth and warp into another reality? Fuck no. I'm sorry, but that's just not Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones is Nazis, ancient tribes, and ancient religious artifacts with mystical powers. Not aliens from another dimension which come alive and scowl at Cate Blanchett for no reason, causing her to disintegrate. At this point in the film the plot lost all validity for me, and before the credits began to roll I was already attempting to block this bastard of a sequel from my memory. In another movie, sure, this ending could have worked, but not in Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford stood atop an ancient temple wearing his fedora while a giant spinning spacecraft rose from the jungle floor and blasted out of our dimension and into the unknown. That's really all I can say to describe my dislike for the ending of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I realize that George Lucas has tried to validate this aspect of the film by stating that, just as the first three Jones films were throwbacks to the pulp adventure stories of the 1930's, Crystal Skull was an homage to the monster tales of the cold war era, but Indiana Jones is just not the correct outlet for that type of story. In my opinion, if they were going to change their genre so drastically, they needed to change their main character and the title of the movie as well.

The Verdict: Though there are redeeming factors about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, they don't come anywhere close to being able to out-shadow the embarrassingly bad ending of the film. There are little things here and there throughout the movie that I didn't like, but had the last ten minutes been drastically altered, I think I would have come away with a generally positive opinion of this film. As it stands however, I cannot bring myself to do anything but wonder who the hell okayed this script. Despite the best efforts of Spielberg, Ford, LaBeouf, Blanchett, and Allen, Indiana Jones was no match for aliens from another dimension.

WIBW @ The Movies: SPEED RACER

2008-05-10T18:49:00.000-04:00

The Plot: With a father who builds race cars and an older brother who was a famous driver before his untimely death, it's no surprise that ever since a young age, all Speed Racer has wanted to do is drive race cars. Now an up and coming competitor in the futuristic racing league which his brother used to be a part of, Speed is given an ultimatum by the greedy owner of a powerful and prosperous racing team which puts his family in danger. Against all odds, Speed sets out to win the upcoming Grand Prix and show the world that he has what it takes to be the best racer in the history of the circuit, all the while ensuring that no harm comes to those he cares for the most.

The Review: Having never really been a fan of the Speed Racer cartoon series, I wasn't so much looking forward to seeing live-action interpretations of Speed and his family or expecting much from the story of this film. I was mainly excited to see another film from the guys who gave us the visually spectacular Matrix trilogy and hoping to once again be wowed by their visual style and ingenuity, which based on the trailers and commercials, seemed like a strong possibility. As it happens, The Wachowski brothers managed to surprise me as much with their film's strong, likable characters as they did with their wild special effects.

Emile Hirsch always visually looked the part of Speed Racer, but was also able to succeed in grounding the unbelievable events and locales surrounding his character with realistic emotions and perspective. If Hirsch hadn't been so likable and believable despite the cartoony situations that his character found himself in, the story would have lost just about all of it's accessibility to the audience. He was really the linchpin which held this movie together. This is not to say, however, that he didn't have a capable supporting cast behind him. John Goodman was also incredibly lovable as Pops Racer, as were Susan Surandon as Mom and Christina Ricci as Speed's girlfriend Trixie. As a fan of the show LOST I was happy to see Matthew Fox in any capacity, but he really sold the character of the mysterious Racer X in every scene which he was a part of. Paulie Litt capably and likably portrayed Speed's younger brother Spritle, though in the case of his character I felt that he caused some of the problems that I had with the movie (more on that in a bit). The racer family's mechanic Sparky, as played by Kick Gurry, was a good character, but I personally felt that he was a little bit short-changed in the character development department. His presence is sprinkled here and there throughout the film only when he's necessary, which would have been fine aside from his role in the film's climax. Sparky seemingly comes out of nowhere to lend an technical (for Speed) and emotional (for the audience) hand to Emile Hirsch's character, which felt out of place considering that he had only been a background character up until that point. I wouldn't have taken him out of those scenes at the end of the film by any means, but I couldn't help but feel that he deserved to be featured a little more prominently, or at least introduced better, toward the beginning of the film.

As I said in the beginning of this review, I was more interested in the visuals of Speed Racer than I was in the characters and story (at least going in), so what did I think of the look of the movie? I'd say that I loved about 95% of the visuals. Despite the film being live-action, it managed to have a very animated feel at points, which I often loved, but occasionally disliked. Where the effects really came into play though, was during the races. I recall reading that the Wachowski brothers had developed some sort of new camera technology or technique for the filming of Speed Racer, but I'm not really sure what it added to the experience. Whatever it was though, it worked like a charm, because every single race sequence was clear, beautiful, and exciting as hell. Whereas I've taken the stance that some recent effects-heavy films (such as Transformers) are too confusing for their own good during the scenes which everyone has really come to see (those being the action sequences), all of the action in Speed Racer was surprisingly easy to follow despite the high speeds at which everything was happening. There were also enough "wow" moments to keep, I would assume, just about anyone's eyes glued to the screen. Cars are constantly soaring through the air, rotating in any number of directions at once, slamming into one another, and often times deploying incredible (and occasionally hilarious) weapons and defensive technology from within their chassis'. Slow motion shots, wacky screen wipes, and any number of other unique and interesting editing techniques were also regularly employed to keep things moving at a pace deserving of the name Speed Racer. Outside of the races, there were even a few fun and/or exciting fight sequences, which were welcome additions to the film from the creators of Neo and Agent Smith.

As for what I didn't like about Speed Racer, there is a specific section of the film which didn't really appeal to me. The movie opens with a doozy of a montage which perfectly introduces the audience to the majority of the main characters, as well as informing the viewer of the necessary back story elements allowing us to understand the world we'll be living in for the next 2+ hours. After the montage we get the set-up for the main plot line, which I'd say lasts for about twenty or thirty minutes. Next we get into the actual plot and follow Speed on his journey toward victory and redemption, followed by the final race and the film's climax. The points in the plot which I wasn't 100% happy with all occurred during those twenty to thirty minutes following the opening montage. At this point in the movie we are introduced to the villain and a lot of the forthcoming story is set up, and I didn't mind those aspects of this period in the film. What I didn't particularly care for was some of the humor. I understand how that may sound considering the overall light-hearted nature of the subject matter and the Speed Racer franchise as a whole, but while everything following the ultimatum that the villain gives to Speed is packed with action, emotion, and drama, the sequences between the montage and said ultimatum were a bit too overbearingly corny for me. Since these events occurred rather early on in the film I was initially very worried that I wouldn't enjoy the entirety of Speed Racer, but thankfully by the time the real threat to Speed's family comes into play the movie becomes less of a silly children's comedy and more of a compelling story with noteworthy humorous beats and winks to the audience on the side. Scenes such as the visually messy sequence when Spritle is zipping around the Royalton factory in a little golf cart-ish vehicle driven by his monkey Chim-Chim made me nervous about what I'd be forced to sit through for the next hour and a half (approximately). Again, I understand that Speed Racer is a cartoony and light-hearted property, but while the humor was expertly handled in almost every other part of the movie, some moments toward the beginning were a bit much for me.

The Verdict: Barring a few (what I felt to be) poorly placed comical moments, Speed Racer was a hilarious, exciting, and overall well-rounded film. All of the actors were spot on, the visual effects were absolutely stunning, and once the plot got rolling it had my complete and utter attention for the remainder of it's running time. The best way to describe the experience of watching Speed Racer is to simply say that it was one hell of a fun ride.

50 Years of Pod People

2008-05-06T02:11:00.003-04:00

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
Returning from a trip, Dr. Miles Bennell (Kevin McCarthy) slowly begins to realize that something strange is going on in his small hometown. There appears to be an outbreak of mass hysteria which causes people to become suspicious of their friends and loved ones. After discovering a number of "blank" human bodies and large leafy pods, however, it becomes clear to Dr. Bennell that the problem lies with the "normal" people in town and not those who seem to be losing their minds. This, the first film adaptation of Jack Finney's classic novel The Body Snatchers, touches on a lot of rather cool and somewhat groundbreaking concepts for it's time. I honestly haven't seen a lot of science fiction films from the era during which this one was produed, but from what I have seen it's probably the most successful. As is not uncommon with a lot of older films, however, the stiff acting and weak dialogue manage to ruin a lot of the mood and tension that the story attempts to set up. The plot unravels at a good pace, dropping hints toward the eventual revelation of the mystery at regular intervals, and though I wasn't overly impressed with any part of the film, the only sequence that left a truly sour taste in my mouth was the ending. It felt more like a opening to me than a climax, which made me want to see what happened next rather than leave the characters behind. Regardless, the 1956 version of The Invasion of the Body Snatchers is certainly worth watching, if for no other reason than for comparison to the ways that the more modern interpretations of the story are handled

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
The first remake of the original 1956 Invasion of the Body Snatchers film is rather similar to it's predecessor in many ways. A solitary man, this time a health inspector named Matthew Bennell (Donald Sutherland), begins to realize that large groups of people around him are changing in bizarre ways. Eventually, as the majority of the population of the city of San Francisco (one significant change from the small town of the original movie) appears to have been affected, Bennell and a small group of friends try to escape the city, but are foiled in their attempts at every turn. Before they know it, Bennell and his small crew begin to slowly fall victim to the plague that is enveloping their community and it seems as though all hope may be lost. The lack of a proper mood that I mentioned in my review of the 1956 version of this movie is long since gone, and in this, the 1978 version, an effective feeling of dread and hopelessness plagues much of the film's running time. Joining Sutherland in the key cast are Jeff Goldblum as a psychiatrist who refuses to acknowledge the supernatural aspects of the strange occurrences taking place around him, Veronica Cartwright as the hysterical proprietor of a small spa, and Brooke Adams as the love interest for Sutherland's Bennell. There are significantly improved special effects in this telling of the story, including stop motion and reverse animated vines which bind and creep into the orifices of the body snatchers' prey and rather disgusting models and puppets resembling the main characters in various stages of being cloned by their enemies. A first for the 1978 Body Snatchers film is that the cloned individuals point and emit inhuman screams when they spot a human, which has proved to be one of the most recognizable and memorable aspects of any of the adaptations of the source material. Everything taken into account, I didn't feel that this version of Invastion of the Body Snatchers was a perfect film, but it's probably the most universally respected, and certainly a must-see for sci-fi, horror, and monster movie fans.

Body Snatchers (1993)
Taking a bit of a different approach to the material than the first two incarnations of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the 1993 version of the film follows a teenage girl named Marti (Gabrielle Anwar) who is moved into a temporary home on a military base when her father (Terry Kinney), a scientist, is called upon to help identify the strange pods that have been growing in a nearby swamp. Before long, just as in the previous film versions of the story, our hero begins to notice a change in the people around her and makes an attempt to escape. Despite the fact that director Abel Ferrara's Body Snatchers feels almost like a low budget made for TV movie, it's probably my favorite version of the story that I've seen thus far. The pace moves a bit quicker than the 1978 version and the fact that the story takes place amidst a strong military presence adds a new level to the goings-on. Instead of a regular community of people being transformed into alien zombies, this time there are heavily armed military personnel not only turning into monsters, but also fighting back against them in some cases. This scenario adds for a bit more action than the previous two versions of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, which isn't necessary, but makes for a bit more of a unique experience. Also, making the main character a rebellious teenage girl rather than a respectable older man added something to the experience for me. None of the main characters in these films have ever had an easy time convincing anyone that aliens are invading their world, but things seemed just a little more hopeless and exciting for a young girl trying to save her little brother and escape with a guy from the neighborhood whom she likes. I'm in an odd position concerning the Invasion films in that I recognize that the 1978 version of the story is the best of the lot, but I still manage to get more enjoyment out of this one.

The Invasion (2007)
This time around, though the general plot and progression of events are essentially the same as all three of the previous incarnations of the Invasion of the Body Snatchers story, the invaders in question don't use leafy pods to clone their victims, but instead infect people with tiny spores which turn the original hosts themselves into alien beings. In this way, The Invasion feels as though it deals with a viral plague rather than an invasion, but infected individuals still become emotionless creatures almost indiscernible from normal humans, so there is a tangible enemy for our heroes to rebel against once again. In The Invasion, Nicole Kidman plays a psychiatrist by the name of Carol Bernell whose son (Jackson Bond) may hold the cure for the epidemic which runs rampant after debris from a space ship lands on Earth with a strange substance on it. After you are infected by the spores contained in the alien substance you will remain human until you fall asleep, at which point the disease transforms you into an emotionless creature. This film isn't perfect, but it actually took a lot of (what I consider to be) positive steps away from the stereotypical trappings of the Invasion series. More than ever, the fear of falling asleep took precedence as the main source of suspense, which I quite liked. Simply waking up with slime on your face is admittedly less interesting to the sci-fi-lover in me than creepy plants crawling up your nose, but I did like the outcome of the switch inasmuch as sleep became the enemy rather than a giant pea pod. The ending of The Invasion was less than perfect, but I have to give the filmmakers credit for going with something significantly different from the outcomes of the previous three incarnations of this film. In the end, The Invasion didn't satisfy my urge for a truly great version of the Body Snatchers story like I hoped it would, but if things continue the way they've been going for the past 50 years or so, it shouldn't be too long before another adaptation of the tale comes along to try for the gold.

WIBW @ The Movies: IRON MAN

2008-05-04T07:03:00.001-04:00

The Plot: Billionaire playboy and weaponry designer/developer Tony Stark is kidnapped by a group of terrorists while showing off one of his new products in Afghanistan. In order to escape from his captors and save his own life, Stark secretly builds a metal exoskeleton equipped with powerful armaments for himself to wear. Upon returning safely to America, he opts to stop producing weapons, as he has now seen the kinds of trouble they cause firsthand, and vows to only work to better mankind. His first goal is to create an improved version of his exoskeleton with which he can fight back against those who do harm to others. Unfortunately, when the secrets of his "Iron Man" technology fall into the hands of his enemies, Stark realizes that his armored suit may in fact cause more problems than it can solve.

The Review: I've never disliked Iron Man, but the character and the comic books about him have also never really had a place among my list of favorite stories. Regardless, ever since the beginning of the recent superhero movie boom of the past decade began, I've always named this title as one that I'd really like to see brought to the big screen. The idea of a man building a futuristic suit of armor packed with weapons just seemed more suited for a film to me than a hammer-wielding god of thunder or a scientist who can run faster than the speed of sound because he accidentally spilled some chemicals on himself in his lab. I'm sure that those properties to which I'm referring could make equally entertaining movies, but something about Tony Stark suiting up in a repulsor ray-equipped mechanical exoskeleton to fight crime, while not necessarily my favorite concept on the page, has always very much appealed to me as the potential subject of a feature film. So, what are my feelings on the topic now that it has finally come to pass?

I loved Iron Man. As far as comic book/superhero-related films are concerned, this film has found a place right near the top of my personal "best of" list along with Spiderman 2 and X-Men 2. Now for the why's...

Although I hadn't personally considered Robert Downey Jr. for the role of Tony Stark before the official casting announcement was made during the preproduction on Iron Man, as soon as I heard his name linked to the project I couldn't imagine anyone else donning the red and gold armor. Just as I anticipated, Downey Jr. was the perfect choice for the role and served as the perfect set of shoulders upon which the entirety of the just over two hour film could rest. His comedic timing is perfect and his portrayal of Stark, while not taken verbatim from the original source material, was 100% satisfactory in my mind. A casting choice which didn't seem so obvious to me upon it's announcement was that of Jeff Bridges in the role of Obadiah Stane. No matter how many of Bridges' films I see, the first of his roles that will always come to mind when I hear his name will be "the dude" from The Big Lebowski, which is a character who is about as far removed from Stane as you can get. I'm going to have to carve out a little room in the back of my memory bank for Bridges as Tony Stark's despicable mentor and former friend now, though, because he was great in the role. There is a particular moment during the film when Stane angrily confronts a scientist in his employ which all but gave me goosebumps when I realized how threatening he could be. Rounding out the key cast were Terence Howard as (the eventual War Machine) Jim Rhodes and Stark's personal assistant Pepper Potts as played by Gwenyth Paltrow. Howard has never been a favorite actor of mine (though I did think that he was particularly good in Hustle & Flow), but while I didn't find him overly impressive in Iron Man, he honestly didn't have a whole of screen time to get on my good side. As for Paltrow, while she didn't necessarily wow me in this role, I've got no complaints about her performance whatsoever.

As far as the story and direction are concerned, I found very few problems with the film, and any that I did find were all rather minor. It is true that there is a lot of time spent on build-up before the Iron Man armor (Mach 1 or otherwise) finally makes it's appearance onscreen, but this didn't bother me at all. There were more than enough humorous moments and interesting story points to keep me focused on Stark even when he wasn't suited up. Speaking of which, even after the exoskeletons make their debut, they don't necessarily tie up the remainder of the running time, but that was fine with me as well. I wouldn't have complained if we'd gotten a few more action scenes here and there, but as far as I'm concerned the plot and pacing are perfect as is. Having only seen the directorial efforts of Jon Favreau in the forms of Made (which I enjoyed, but wasn't very visually exceptional) and Elf (which I didn't really like at all), I was honestly incredibly impressed with his ability to handle the material. If I hadn't known beforehand that Iron Man was directed by Favreau, I'd have probably assumed that it was helmed by someone with a more action-centric catalogue of films. The action (for the most part) was clear and didn't rely on a lot of quick cuts and shaky cam shots like so many other modern visual effects-driven extravaganzas (*cough*Transformers*cough*), which was quite refreshing. The effects themselves were top-notch and nearly without any noticeable flaws, and the comedy, drama, and action all meshed perfectly at all times.

The Verdict: As I previously stated above, after one viewing I already hold Iron Man in the same regard as both Spiderman 2 and X-Men 2, which should essentially state my overall feelings on it rather clearly. The humor was great, the action was top-notch, the acting was spot-on, and the writing and directing was on par with the best examples of the superhero movie genre. In my opinion, as far as comic book films, superhero films, or action films in general are concerned, it doesn't get a whole lot better than Iron Man.

Random Rapid Fire Reviews - January '08

2008-04-21T02:04:00.001-04:00

The Invisible
After a high school student named Nick (Justin Chatwin) is beaten to near-death by a gang of his peers led by the rebellious Annie (Margarita Levieva), he's left for dead in a storm drain in the forest where his unconscious body lies for days. During this time, Nick's soul (at least I guess it's his soul) wanders around trying desperately to communicate with the living in hopes that he'll be able to lead someone to his body so that he may be resuscitated before his heart fails. Unfortunately, the only person who can seem to hear Nick's ghostly voice is the very girl responsible for putting his life in jeopardy. I'm always interested in seeing unique new sci-fi/supernatural stories brought to the screen and had hopes that The Invisible would be one of those sleeper hits that wows me despite it's lackluster performance in theaters. Unfortunately it didn't quite deliver on those expectations, but it was interesting (both visually and plot-wise) enough to keep me entertained as I watched it. There are unmistakable similarities between The Invisible and the Patrick Swayze vehicle Ghost, but they aren't so alike that it becomes distracting. My least favorite aspects of this film were it's stereotypically hip visual style and unbelievable, yet somehow played out character archetypes. I'm tired of films about troubled youth in wealthy neighborhoods that seem to be riddled with dream homes that the filmmakers only included in their movie to live out some kind of fantasy onscreen. Don't expect anything ground-breaking here, but catching The Invisible is a decent way to spend a few hours when you've got nothing better to do.

The Quick and the Dead
Director Sam Raimi has made films in just about every genre, including horror (Evil Dead), comedy (Crimewave), sports drama (For Love of the Game), thriller (A Simple Plan), supernatural thriller (The Gift), superhero (Spiderman), and in the case of The Quick and the Dead, western. In a small town run by a royal asshole named John Herod (Gene Hackman), the annual gun duel competition is about to take place when a mysterious female competitor (Sharon Stone) shows up to compete. Among the other competitors are a gunman turned preacher (Russell Crowe) and a young boy called The Kid (Leonardo DiCaprio). For most, the goal is to earn the cash reward by winning the contest, but for some the ultimate goal is to rid the town of Herod's dictator-like reign. In addition to those I've already named, the cast of The Quick and the Dead also includes the likes of Keith David, Lance Henriksen, and Gary Sinise among others. With all of these huge names I could hardly resist checking out this film, not to mention the fact that Raimi, who I'm a fan of, helmed the project. The story is simple and the twist ending rather predictable, but moreso than the intrigue behind the plot, the real reasons to watch The Quick and the Dead are the interaction between the members of it's star-studded cast and to see how Raimi's unique visual style is applied to the western genre. This film is by no means a classic or a must-see, but it is a wholly original addition to the genre and one that I would personally recommend to anyone interested in cowboys and/or the wild west.

Speed
My guess would be that even those who have never seen Speed know the film's premise, but for anyone unaware, I'll sum up the plot as painlessly as possible. When a mad bomber (Dennis Hopper) places a bomb on a bus that will detonate if the vehicle drops below 50 miles per hour, a lone police officer (Keanu Reeves) and a civilian woman (sandra Bullock) must desperately attempt to not only keep the bus moving, but also save it's numerous passengers. The premise is ludicrous, the acting is over the top, and the action is even more over the top than the acting, but for what it is, Speed is a great film. There are times when one feels the need to watch a film with substance and technical worth, but when you're just in the mood for a fun, balls to the wall action film it doesn't get much better than Speed. Dennis Hopper makes a genuinely despicable and memorable villain, Jeff Daniels' character provides both humor and heart, and Keanu leads the cast well as the hero who will stop at nothing to uphold the law. The only member of the core cast that I've never been crazy about is Sandra Bullock. She serves her purpose in Speed just fine, but I've never been a big fan of hers in general. Leave your critical opinions at the door and pick up a suspension of disbelief card on your way in and you're in for one hell of an entertaining and wild ride with Speed.

Rush Hour 3
Detective Carter (Chris Tucker) and Inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) are back for a third go 'round in Rush Hour 3. In the first film Lee was a fish out of water in America, in the second film the roles reversed as Carter visited China, and on this outing both of our heroes are out of place as they venture to France to stop the triad from killing a woman who holds all of their secrets. As you can see by reading my reviews of the previous Rush Hour films, I quite liked the first installment of the series, but was rather let down by it's first sequel. Compared to this film though, Rush Hour 2 is best picture material. By this point in time the jokes in these films have been running for just shy of a decade and are growing extremely thin. Chan and Tucker still have great chemistry and are good for a chuckle or two, but everything about this film felt as though I'd seen it before, which is probably about the worst thing that could be said about a Jackie Chan movie. It is true that Chan is in his early fifties, but if he was able to pull of the kinds of moves he did in New Police Story a mere three years before this movie, there's no excuse for the lack of quality action scene fodder in Rush Hour 3. All of the fight scenes in this movie essentially consist of Jackie blocking attacks with chairs and other objects and running away from opponents comedically. When you get right down to it, there is just nothing special about Rush Hour 3. This is a prime example of a sequel that was made for monetary gain as opposed to a desire to further explore the artistic merits of the series, and it's obvious during every flat, uninspired moment of the film.

The Kingdom
When a bombing in the Middle East takes out an American facility, a team of United States government agents including Chris Cooper, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, and Jason Bateman is sent overseas to investigate. When they arrive they are treated with little respect by the locals who don't seem to want to allow them to do their job properly. Over time they grow a decent working relationship with their hosts, but when one of their team is taken hostage by a terrorist cell the remaining agents must cease their investigation in exchange for a rescue mission. Having recently seen Michael Mann's Miami Vice film and being not only unimpressed, but also rather annoyed by it's visual style, The Kingdom, which looked visually similar and was produced by Mann, didn't hold much interest for me. The one thing that really drew me into this movie was the inclusion of Jason Bateman in the cast, who I had only previously seen in comedic roles (a la Michael Bluth on Arrested Development). While it was interesting to see Bateman in The Kingdom, all I kept thinking during the majority of the film is that it should have been called CSI: Saudi Arabia. Most of the running time once the team arrives onsite is devoted to a step by step process via which they slowly learn who the perpetrators of the bombing were, which I found to be rather dull. The only truly entertaining portion of the film comes at it's climax when Garner and Foxx infiltrate a dilapidated apartment building to rescue the kidnapped Jason Bateman with guns blazing. There was a lot of intensity in this scene which alone served to add probably another whole star to my rating of the film. Unless you have a particular interest in the plot of The Kingdom I would suggest that you skip it, because it doesn't make for very good casual viewing fare.

The Brothers Solomon
After their father (Lee Majors) falls into a coma, a doctor relays to John (Will Arnett) and Dean (Will Forte) Solomon that before slipping into unconsciousness he said that he'd like to have a grandson before he dies. In hopes that they will be able to revive their ailing father if one of them supplies him with the proper offspring, John and Dean both set out on a mission to attempt to have a child. Unfortunately, having been segregated from normal interaction with society since childhood, the act of courting prospective mothers proves to be more difficult than they'd first imagined. A few things drew me to The Brothers Solomon. First of all, the film is directed by Bob Odenkirk who I've loved since I first saw Mr. Show, which he co-hosted with David Cross on HBO. Second, Will Arnett is another talent that I have been following closely since catching up with the incredible show Arrested Development, which he was a cast-member of. Third, for no real reason I also really like Chi McBride, who plays a part in this film. Finally, all three of the reasons that I just listed are the same reasons why I watched another recent film by the name of Let's Go To Prison, and they all combined to make me quite enjoy that film, so I figured that it was within reason that the same could be said for The Brothers Solomon. In short, I was right. There is some aspect of both this film and Let's Go To Prison which I can't quite seem to put my finger on that sets them apart from the big, popular comedies of late such as Superbad and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, but it gives them a unique tone that I find both awkward and hilarious. Will Forte and Will Arnett play incredibly well off of one another, and while there are certainly tried and true comedy stereotypes at play during different parts of The Brothers Solomon, it throws enough truly weird curve balls at the audience to create a ridiculous, fresh, and overall enjoyable viewing experience.

Sunshine
"Another thriller from the team that brought us 28 Days Later, only this time leaning more toward science fiction than horror? Count me in." That's essentially the state of mind that I held when I first heard about Sunshine, and having seen it I can confidently say that if you have a similar outlook on sci-fi and cinema to mine and haven't seen this film yet, that's exactly the state of mind you should be in. Approximately fifty years in the future the Earth's sun is dying and a team of astronauts is sent into space to attempt to re-ignite it with a massive bomb before it burns out and all life on our planet is snuffed out. Yes, the premise is far-fetched (to say the least), but if you're a true fan of science fiction that won't matter to you. A story like this one is all about the fantastical journey that a premise allows for the audience to embark upon along with it's characters, not the premise itself. As far as the premise of Sunshine is concerned though, it immediately brings to mind one of my all-time favorite Ray Bradbury stories entitled The Golden Apples of the Sun. Just as with Bradbury's tale (which is smilar to Sunshine, but with a much more romantic theme to say the least), Sunshine is certainly not for everyone. The suspension of disbelief required to accept the events of this film's plot is sure to cause a lot of hang-ups in viewers, but for me I was simply so enthralled by the film's concept that I couldn't wait, from moment to moment, to see how the crew of it's ship was going to achieve it's goals. To quote Bradbury himself, "You can not part the Red Sea with a gesture or walk into a lion's den, like Daniel, and lie down with beasts, or see a wheel in a wheel, way in the middle of the air. But if you write about it in just the proper way people will believe that an incredible vehicle, one day in the future, took some astronauts to borrow a cup of Sun." That being said, despite how outrageous the events of Sunshine were, I basked in the glory of every wacky moment of it's sci-fi style. My own personal problems with the film arise from it's creation, not it's contents. Director Danny Boyle obviously had a daunting task on his hands in showing his audience some of the most inconceivable and outstanding visuals ever brought to the screen, but in my opinion he indulged himself a bit too much while creating them. I completely understand what he was trying to achieve with all of the intense optical effects he injected into the movie, but it is rather hard not to be turned off by some of the visual style presented to us, particularly during the film's already obtuse climax. Sunshine is surely a film that will continue to polarize the opinions of viewers for years to come, and it is certainly not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I had a blast watching it and attempting to absorb it's wholly unique content.

Eastern Promises
A young girl with no identification dies during childbirth in a London hospital leaving behind only a newborn baby girl and a diary written in Russian. In hopes that she'll be able to locate the mystery girl's family, a nurse named Anna (Naomi Watts) brings the diary home for her stepfather to translate. What they discover within the diary gets Anna involved in a troublesome relationship with some Russian gangsters and she must now go to great lengths to try to save the orphaned infant from her mother's enemies. I honestly had no real interest in Eastern Promises outside of the fact that it was directed by David Cronenberg whose early work in the science fiction and horror genres I greatly enjoy. Cronenberg's other recent dramatic film A History Of Violence didn't particularly impress me, which led me to believe that Eastern Promises held the same fate for me, but luckily I was quite wrong to think so. Eastern Promises is at times a very reserved personal story and at other times an in your face exploration of violence and crime. I found the film captivating for the entirety of the running time and was only really let down by a few plot points near the ending. In particular, I wasn't a big fan of the revelation that one of the movie's characters isn't who you're led to believe he/she is. Despite these (what I consider) minor flaws, the plot is expertly crafted and the film as a whole is carried out very well. Of particular interest is a fight scene for which the film has become somewhat infamous during which Viggo Mortensen's character battles two knife-wielding men in the nude. This sequence is both shocking and incredibly impressive, and may very well be one of my all time favorite onscreen fight scenes.

Stardust
I've wanted to read Neil Gaiman's Stardust for quite some time now, but perhaps even more-so now that I've seen the film. Not because the film was great, but because I refuse to believe that the original text from which it is based is as bad as the movie that was made from it, and I'd like to satisfy my personal curiosity concerning the matter. Stardust is a fairy tale about a young man (Charlie Cox) who tells the love of his life that he would retrieve a fallen star for her and attempts to do so when he discovers that the star in question is in fact a beautiful young girl (Claire Danes). After locating the star the young man also discovers that she is being hunted by a trio of witches (led by Michelle Pfeiffer) whom he must protect her from in order to deliver her to his love as promised. Along the way he meets a cast of fantastical characters including a cross-dressing pirate named Captain Shakespeare (Robert De Niro). The Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Princess Bride aside, I've never been a big fan of swords and sorcery films or franchises, which may have partially attributed to my dislike for Stardust, but I don't think that my lack of interest in fantasy is solely to blame for this movie's failure in my eyes. One of my biggest problems with the film was it's pace, which I thought felt very rushed. It was as though there were so many concepts and sequences that director Matthew Vaughn wanted to include in his film that he crammed as many of them as possible into the running time and didn't pay much attention to whether the plot flowed well or not. In addition to this problem, none of the characters were particularly likable, least of which Claire Danes, who was way too bitchy, and Charlie Cox, who was way too whiny. When your two main characters aren't worth rooting for, you know you've got a problem. All in all Stardust just didn't bring anything to the table that I particularly cared for. There were a few neat ideas that were surely held over from the book such as the candles that worked as teleportation devices when lit or some of the magic spells used during the final conflict of the movie, but they weren't nearly enough to save this train wreck of a film.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?
A loose adaptation of The Odyssey, O Brother, Where Art Thou? follows a trio of escaped 1930's convicts as they make their way toward a supposed hidden treasure, all the while pursued by the long arm of the law. In the wake of seeing No Country For Old Men in the theater last year and loving the hell out of it, I decided that it was about time I went back and tracked down the remaining Coen brothers films that I'd yet to see, even if it meant watching some movies with George Clooney, who I'm well known in my circle of friends and acquaintances as not being a fan of. Having not seen O Brother for so many years, primarily due to the inclusion of Clooney, it is perhaps the single movie that has come most highly recommended to me by the most people that I know. Having finally seen it, I can't for the life of me figure out why. Even despite Clooney's presence, I just didn't really see the draw behind the film. Sure, I enjoyed the musical number in the recording studio scene, and sure there were a few funny moments, but all in all I just don't see the draw. George Clooney certainly did his part in making me dislike O Brother, Where Art Thou? by poorly delivering plenty of his standard dry, cocky lines, but in general the film just felt stagnant to me. The plot was fairly thin, leading me to wonder exactly how close it stuck to the classic story from which it is supposedly adapted and whether or not having read said text is a prerequisite for being able to understand exactly what is going on at any given moment. In short, I wouldn't readily recommend this film to anyone, but I suppose you should take into account that just about all of my peers feel the exact opposite of me.

The Salton Sea
The Salton Sea is one of those movies that has so many different layers that it's tough not to give away spoilers since there are seemingly so many of them, but at the same time they're so ingrained within the spiraling mess of a plot that even if you let one slip it's most likely not going to pop out as something important. With that in mind...Val Kilmer plays a junkie with a heart of gold who works as a small-time informant for some asshole cops to keep himself out of prison. When he decides to deal with a big-time supplier who goes by the name of Pooh-Bear (Vincent D'Onofrio) and leave his cop "buddies" in the dark about it he runs a risk that he may not be as ready to handle as he thinks he is. Melodrama is a powerful device. It can be used for good or evil in the world of cinema and the melodrama in The Salton Sea walks a fine line between worthwhile character studies and cheap grabs at unearned emotions. I enjoyed the story behind this film, but the storytelling sometimes felt a little heavy-handed. It's tough to explain my feelings here without giving something away as I explained earlier. Suffice to say that it is certainly a good film, but takes a few turns later on in it's running time that I wasn't too big of a fan of. Val Kilmer is good as the main character, but the real acting treat here is D'Onofrio's drug lord character Pooh-Bear. It's roles like this one, which he reportedly gained 50 pounds to play in addition to spending a great deal of time working on a distinct set of speech patterns and other intricate character details, which have cemented him in history as a true actor's actor. If you like movies about drugs, criminals, or crime in general, you're sure to get something out of The Salton Sea, but I wouldn't say that you have to have a predisposed interest in those sorts of films to enjoy it.

Hannibal Rising
The one and only reason that I wanted to see this film is because I have seen all of the rest of the installments of the Hannibal Lecter series. Not the best reason to see a movie, I know, but what can I say? I'm a completist. Anyway, I (of course) love The Silence of the Lambs, thought that Brett Ratner's prequel Red Dragon was pretty good (mainly because I'm a big fan of it's star Edward Norton), and thought that Ridley Scott's Hannibal was pretty much terrible. Going into watching Hannibal Rising I was expecting to come out of the film feeling similarly about it as I felt about Hannibal, or perhaps in the best case scenario, maybe liking it as much as Red Dragon. Much to my surprise, I quite liked the film and was thoroughly impressed with it's level of quality and believability. Hannibal is one of those characters that I never really wanted to see the history of because I like how mysterious he is, and though I still somewhat feel that way I don't think that the events of Rising taint his character at all. The story behind how Hannibal came to enjoy the taste of human flesh is a little cheesy, but overall it works in the realm of the story. As it stands right now, surprisingly, Hannibal Rising is probably my second favorite film of the Hannibal Lecter franchise right behind the near unreachable zenith that is 1991's The Silence of the Lambs.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
I quite vocally despised the first film in the Fantastic Four series and have stated on numerous occasions that I would honestly more readily watch the unreleased Roger Corman produced Fantastic Four film if given the choice between the two. Rise of the Silver Surfer is no different. This movie is just plain bad. It has the complete packege: bad acting, bad story, bad directing, bad action, etc. Just as was the case with the previous Fantastic Four film, I'm baffled by how little action there is in these movies. Not only is there so little of it, but whenever there is an "action scene", it usually just consists of the team saving some civilians from a falling fire truck or carnival attraction. I don't know why Tim Story insists on making superhero movies with short, uninteresting fight sequences. Then again, I'm not sure why whoever hired him thought that he'd be the right person to direct an action movie or why they bothered to bring him back for a second attempt. You'll notice that I've yet to bring up the fact that Galactus is represented by a storm cloud, but that's because, while terrible, Galactus is far from the worst thing about this movie. I'll bet that if I were a young child I would enjoy the Fantastic Four films, but something tells me that even if I were a tyke I'd still wish there were more fighting. In a world where the Spiderman films exist, I can't picture myself ever watching Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer ever again. Ever.

Resident Evil: Extinction
After so many horribly bad feature film adaptations of video games, comic books, and other media in recent years I feel like I'm beating a dead horse when I ask this, but what the fuck is the entire population of Hollywood smoking and where can I get some? I'm convinced that the only way to enjoy a piece of garbage like this is to be up to your eyeballs in some kind of hallucinatory substance. In fact, the special edition DVD of Resident Evil: Extinction should come with a dose of heroin and a cyanide capsule so that you can either shoot up and try to enjoy the film that way or swallow the pill and kill yourself on the spot to avoid the hassle. There was really no hope for this film to be any good right off the bat considering that the series started off so horribly and managed not to resemble in the least the video game series it was based off of in the first place. Seriously...if a game is massively popular because of it's story, why the hell would you try your hardest to make the plot of the film unrecognizable to it's fans? By now the morons behind the Resident Evil film franchise have decided that what fans really want in addition to their heavy metal music, sterling silver laboratories, zombies, and dainty chicks pulling kung-fu wirework fight scenes against dogs out of their asses is an illegitimate bastard child of Road Warrior. In this film a gang of over-acting, overly beautiful, under-talented survivors are traversing the desert that was once the United States in search of gasoline and food when they decide, based upon a notebook filled with embarrassingly unoriginal scribbled notes, to attempt to find their way to Alaska where there may or may not be a safe place to hide from the zombie plague which has by now spread across the majority of the Earth. Milla Jovovich, whose character Alice has developed full-on superpowers by this point for some reason or another, happens upon this band of hapless fools and proceeds to spin kick everyone and everything that resembles a zombie. Uninspired directing, horrible acting, special effects that looked as though a film student made them on his laptop in 1998, a script that was phoned in by the mastermind of this heinous film franchise (Paul W.S. Anderson), and every modern stylistic stereotype that you can imagine plague every excruciating second of this sad excuse for ninety four minutes of entertainment. The one scene that came close to being worth anyone's time (an obvious homage to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds) wouldn't have been enough to convince me to recommend this film to anyone even if the special effects weren't laughably fake. Resident Evil: Extinction is the type of film that someone must hate as a prerequisite for me to respect them as a sound-minded human being.

WIBW @ The Movies: THE RUINS

2008-04-20T03:11:00.000-04:00

The Plot: Two young couples on vacation in Mexico decide to accompany a young man in search of his brother on a day trip to an archeological dig somewhere in the nearby jungle. When they arrive at the site of the excavation they find themselves surrounded by locals armed with guns and bows who refuse to let them leave. Cut off from society and with little hope of rescue, the small group of twenty-somethings have to figure out how to survive, how to escape, and perhaps most importantly, why they're being detained.

The Review: Let me apologize in advance for the vagueness of this review. The Ruins is one of those films that, if you don't know what to expect, could be completely ruined for you by one slip-up from a careless reviewer. I always try to refrain from giving away spoilers, but I'll be taking extra care not to do so in the case of this film.

I read the novel of the same name upon which this movie is based not long before the film's release. The Ruins is the second book, and coincidentally the second screenplay, from writer Scott Smith, who also penned the text and screen versions of Sam Raimi's film A Simple Plan. These two stories are far removed from one another content-wise, but rather similar in tone which, if you've had the pleasure of seeing A Simple Plan, should clue you into how tense a thriller The Ruins is. As I mentioned above, I won't be giving away any spoilers, which means that I can't really talk about any of the events of the last hour or so of the film in any great detail. To compensate for this fact, I can only tell you that I absolutely loved the novel and that the film surprisingly lived up to the high expectations set by it.

For a science fiction/horror aficionado such as myself, The Ruins was a breath of fresh air among the standard horror films being released these days. I am, of course, speaking of what have been dubbed "torture porn" movies. In many ways, the characters in The Ruins are put through some rather torturous situations, but that and the beautiful young cast are about the only things that this film has in common with the rest of the horror fodder that has been coming out as of late. Speaking of which, though the cast is comprised of several attractive, up and coming young actors and actresses, they truly manage to come off as real people instead of the cookie-cutter hapless victims that the horror genre usually provides. This is a testament to the abilities of the stars of The Ruins, but also to the expert realistic character development skills of writer Scott Smith. One of the elements of this film which allows it to succeed so well is that each of the four main characters represents a different way of looking at every outrageous decision and situation that the group finds itself faced with. In this way, I can easily envision four different types of viewers each agreeing with and getting behind the opinions of a different character from the film, which isn't, in my opinion, something that can be said about a whole lot of movies.

The Ruins doesn't rely heavily on shock value to achieve it's mood, but rather on a constant sense of desperation and dread provided by the situation that it's characters have happened into. Tonally, as far as horror films are concerned, I would relate it to John Carpenter's The Thing, the original Alien film directed by Ridley Scott, or last year's Stephen King adaptation The Mist. Like all of those films The Ruins deals with a small group of people suddenly thrust into a situation that they are unfamiliar and, in many ways, unable to cope with. The drama that plays out between the characters is just as, if not more important than the events going on around them which are causing said drama. This is not to say that there aren't instances when the dire situation takes over and causes very real problems for the protagonists, but since there is such a heavy reliance on character development and relationships, when something directly puts them in danger, the impact is greater that it would be if the tension wasn't kept so high by the constant character-driven drama.

While I greatly enjoyed the experience of discovering the progression of events in the story of The Ruins while reading the book, I can't help but wonder how I would have viewed the movie if I'd seen it first. In fact, the few problems that I had with the film were probably all based upon my having read and become familiar with the story beforehand. For example, the ending, for reasons which I cannot/will not go into, left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. Thinking about the story logically, the way that the film ends feels slightly flawed and less impacting than that of the novel. Also, the very beginning of the film felt a little cliche as though it was added in as an afterthought to make the film more approachable by everyday audiences. Aside from those few (what I would consider) errors in The Ruins, the rest of my qualms lie with the running time of the film. I have no preconceived opinions about how long any film should be, but while watching The Ruins I couldn't help but feel as though a few good opportunities for character development and/or otherwise unexplored plot points were missed out on. Again though, I probably would have felt differently about these matters had I not previously read the book upon which The Ruins was based.

The Verdict: While I do prefer Scott Smith's novel to this film in a few ways, The Ruins probably came about as close to equaling the quality of a widely praised book as is possible for a Hollywood adaptation. The characters were 100% believable, the tone of the film was perfect for the subject matter, and the story was engrossing in a way that that of few sci-fi/horror films are. If you're in the market for a blood and guts extravaganza you're better off looking elsewhere, but if you'd like to scare yourself with an intelligent concept that holds some weight, The Ruins is the movie for you.

Maxim's 300 Movies You MUST See Before You Die

2008-04-18T02:23:00.021-04:00

I cancelled my subscription to Maxim Magazine some time ago, but have still been receiving copies in the mail for the last few months for whatever reason. I stopped subscribing to Maxim for the same reason that, in the past few years, I have also stopped subscribing to Wizard, Toyfare, PSM, Electronic Gaming Monthly, and AP Magazine. That reason being that I'd rather read my news online than in a stack of subscription card spewing periodicals which inevitably end up in unread piles around my room. When I picked up the latest Maxim (#125) to see who the babe on the cover was this month (Elisha Cuthbert, by the way), a headline caught my eye that I couldn't refuse: "The 300 Movies To See Before You Die".

Spend five minutes looking up movies on Google and you'll stumble upon dozens of lists just like this one which merely present the opinions of whoever crafted them. As a matter of fact, I've masterminded a few of them myself right here on this blog and will probably do so again before everything is said and done. There are no real reasons for these lists to exist other than to spark conversation and debate, but I tend to find them irresistible. After all, if you have a blog you must have opinions, and if you have opinions, you most likely take great enjoyment in observing those of other people and comparing them to your own. So here I present Maxim's list, much of which I disagree with, for all to see and critique.

Also, for shits and giggles, all of the films which appear in BLUE are those which I have personally seen as of the original date of this post (April 17, 2008). All films appearing in ORANGE are those which I have caught up with after the original date of this post. If anyone reading this feels like counting out how many of the films named here they've seen, let me know your count via the comments section at the bottom of this post. I'd love to see how others' viewing experiences stack up.

Without further ado, I present Maxim's 300 Movies You Must See Before You Die:

COMEDY:
Airplane!
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Animal House
American Pie
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Bachelor Party
Bananas
Beverly Hills Cop
The Big Lebowski
Blazing Saddles
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Caddyshack
The Cannonball Run
Clerks
Dazed and Confused
Duck Soup
Dumb & Dumber
Election
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Ghostbusters
Groundhog Day
Happy Gilmore
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
The Jerk
Kingpin
Modern Times
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
The Nutty Professor (1963)
Office Space
Old School
The Pink Panther Strikes Again
The Princess Bride
Raising Arizona
Sixteen Candles
Some Like It Hot
This Is Spinal Tap
Trading Places
Vacation
Wedding Crashers
Wet Hot American Summer
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)
Young Frankenstein

WAR:
Apocalypse Now
Black Hawk Down
The Bridge on the River Kwai
The Deer Hunter
The Dirty Dozen
Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Gallipoli
The Great Escape
M*A*S*H
Platoon
Saving Private Ryan

SO BAD THEY'RE GOOD:
Airport 1975
Barbarella
Battlefield Earth
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Death Race 2000
Glen or Glenda?
Phantom of the Paradise
Reefer Madness
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Showgirls
The Toxic Avenger

REBELS:
Billy Jack
Cool Hand Luke
Dirty Harry
Dirty Mary Crazy Larry
Easy Rider
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
The Graduate
A History of Violence
The Hustler
The King of Comedy
Network
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Raging Bull
Risky Business
Sid & Nancy
Smokey and the Bandit
Taxi Driver
Three Days of the Condor
Trainspotting

CLASSICS:
The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
Ben-Hur
Casablanca
Double Indemnity
Kind Hearts and Coronets
Lawrence of Arabia
Metropolis (1927)
The Night of the Hunter
On the Waterfront
The Third Man
Touch of Evil
Vertigo
White Heat
The Wizard of Oz

SCI-FI/FANTASY:
2001: A Space Odyssey
Alien
Aliens
Back to the Future
Blade Runner
Children of Men
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
E.T.
King Kong (1933)
Planet of the Apes (1968)
Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope
Star Wars Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back
Starship Troopers
Terminator
Terminator II: Judgement Day

HORROR:
28 Days Later
Carrie
The Exorcist
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
The Fly
Halloween (1978)
Jaws
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Psycho (1960)
Rosemary's Baby
The Shining (1980)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

WESTERNS:
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
High Noon
High Plains Drifter
Jeremiah Johnson
The Searchers
Tombstone
True Grit
Unforgiven
The Wild Bunch

BUDDY MOVIES:
American Graffiti
The Blues Brothers
Breaking Away
Deliverance
Glengarry Glen Ross
The Goonies
The Last Detail
Lethal Weapon
The Right Stuff
Saturday Night Fever
The Shawshank Redemption
Stand By Me
Stripes
Superbad
Swingers
Top Gun
The Warriors

ACTION:
Batman
Batman Begins
Battle Royale
The Bourne Identity
The Bournce Supremacy
The Bourne Ultimatum
Braveheart
Clash of the Titans
Die Hard
Enter the Dragon
Face/Off
First Blood
48 Hrs.
Gladiator
The Incredibles
Kill Bill Vol. 1
Kill Bill Vol. 2
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The Matrix
Predator
Raiders of the Lost Ark
The Road Warrior
Rocky
Rocky II
Rocky III
Rocky IV
Speed
Spiderman

NON-GRATUITOUS NUDITY!:
10
Angel Heart
Body Heat
Boogie Nights
Carnal Knowledge
Coffy
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Jackass: The Movie
McCabe & Mrs. Miller
Mulholland Drive
Poison Ivy: The New Seduction
Revenge of the Nerds
Wild Things

ART HOUSE:
Annie Hall
Badlands
The Bicycle Thief
City of God
A Clockwork Orange
The Conversation
Do The Right Thing
Elephant Man
The Last Picture Show
Midnight Cowboy
Repo Man
Rushmore
Short Cuts
There Will Be Blood
Withnail and I

MINDBENDERS:
Akira
Beetlejuice
Blue Velvet
Brazil
Donnie Darko
Edward Scissorhands
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Fight Club
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
Memento
Pink Floyd: The Wall
The Rocky Horror Picture Show

COPS:
Bad Lieutenant
Bullitt
Chinatown
The Departed
Donnie Brasco
Fargo
The French Connection
Hard Boiled
Robocop
Se7en
Shaft (1971)
The Silence of the Lambs
To Live and Die in L.A.
The Untouchables

CRIMINALS:
Atlantic City
Bad Boys (1983)
Bloody Mama
Bonnie and Clyde
The Boys From Brazil
Boyz N the Hood
Carlito's Way
Casino
Crimes and Misdemeanors
Dog Day Afternoon
The Getaway
Get Carter (1971)
The Godfather
The Godfather Part II
Goodfellas
Heat
In Cold Blood
The Long Good Friday
Mean Streets
Midnight Express
Natural Born Killers
No Country For Old Men
Pulp Fiction
Reservoir Dogs
River's Edge
Scarface
Sexy Beast
Sin City
Super Fly
True Romance

THE MASTER CLASS:
Breathless
Citizen Kane
La Dolce Vita
Seven Samurai
The 400 Blows
The Seventh Seal
Un Chien Andalou

SEQUELS THAT ARE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL:
Bride of Frankenstein
Evil Dead II
Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan
Superman II

NON-BORING DOCUMENTARIES:
Brother's Keeper
Don't Look Back
Gimme Shelter
Hoop Dreams
Pumping Iron
Richard Pryor: Live in Concert
When We Were Kings

CONSPICUOUSLY GAY STRAIGHT MOVIES (BEYOND TOP GUN):
300
The Bear
Spartacus
X-Men

CONSPICUOUSLY GAY SWAYZE MOVIES:
Next of Kin
The Outsiders
Point Break
Red Dawn
Road House
Youngblood

ESSENTIAL JAMES BOND MOVIES:
Casion Royale
Goldfinger
Live and Let Die
The Spy Who Loved Me
You Only Live Twice

BEST MOVIES WITH PUPPETS:
Being John Malkovich
The Dark Crystal
The Muppet Movie
Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story
Team America
Weekend At Bernie's

MOVIES YOU NEED TO SEE ONCE, BUT ARE SO TRAUMATIC YOU NEVER NEED TO SEE AGAIN:
Leaving Las Vegas
Million Dollar Baby
Requiem For a Dream
Schindler's List
United 93

Number of Maxim's 300 movies that I have seen (as of April 17, 2008): 175

Number of Maxim's 300 movies that I have seen (as of August 23, 2009): 204

Number of Maxim's 300 movies that my mother has seen (as of April 17, 2008): 82

***Note: While it sounds nice to round down to 300, by my count there were in fact 317 titles on Maxim's list. However, six of these films were mentioned in more than one category, so I've omitted the doubles, leaving a total of 311 individual films recognized on the above list.

***Edit: As of May 27, 2008 it has been brought to my attention that I somehow neglected to include A Clockwork Orange on the above list. The list has been altered along with the final film count. In addition to this change, I have also begun marking the films which I've seen for the first time after the original post date (April 17, 2008) and keeping track of my current "watched" count near the bottom of the list, which I'll update whenever I think about it.

Netflix Rapid Fire Reviews - January '08

2008-03-17T10:14:00.000-04:00

The Road Warrior
The Road Warrior follows the continuing adventures of "Mad" Max Rockatansky as he assists a small community of desert-dwellers in escaping from a gang of bondage gear-laden pirates in the post-apocalyptic outback of Australia. After being thoroughly disappointed by the "classic" film Mad Max, it's sequel The Road Warrior is a glorious breath of fresh air. This time around, with a clear plot in mind, the filmmakers have created a truly inspiring post-apocalyptic action film. Max himself is an interesting, mysterious character this time around, and he's surrounded at all times by memorable, interesting supporting characters. The plot is simple and expertly handled, and the low budget effects are phenomenal in the way that only 1980's sci-fi films can provide. One of the best words to describe The Road Warrior is "over the top", and it is because of this distinction that the film is able to earn it's title with a balls to the wall car chase/battle during it's climax. This is by far the stand-out installment of the Mad Max trilogy and a must-see for all children of the eighties.

New Police Story
Neither a sequel to, nor a remake of, any of the previous Police Story films, New Police Story is supposedly a reboot of the series, though you could have fooled me. This time around, instead of a lighthearted young "supercop", Jackie Chan plays an older, drunken, washed up police officer who has to earn back his pride by taking down a gang of hip young troublemakers who have made a game out of killing cops. New Police Story reeks of the early days of "cyber crime" action films in which the drug dealing and gun smuggling bad guys of eighties low budget cinema were replaced by computer hacking, extreme sports loving criminals armed with laptops and high tech gadgetry instead of rocket launchers and biceps the size of tree trunks. The concepts behind the online video game which leads the police to the next bank heists and the contest to see who gets more of the haul from the robbery based on who killed more law officials may have sounded good on paper (though I highly doubt it), but onscreen they are just laughable. The aim of the filmmakers was seemingly to make a darker movie than it's predecessors, but the ridiculous attempts to make the villains and their methods "cool" did nothing but hinder them from reaching their goal. While the story is ludicrous and the melodrama is thicker than the aging Jackie Chan, there are still a few worthwhile set pieces and fight scenes which make New Police Story worth checking out, but don't expect anything nearly as good as the original Police Story.

The Enforcer
They call him Dirty Harry because whenever there's a dirty job to be done, he's the one to take care of it. This time, the job in question is putting a halt to the plans of a terrorist organization which has requisitioned itself some explosives from the police department's own warehouse and kidnapped the Mayor for ransom. The real thorn in Detective Harry Callahan's side though? The higher-up's have teamed him up with a female partner. Back in the days when female police officers were a rare sight to behold, this film probably played a lot better than it does now. Callahan is portrayed by Clint Eastwood in this film as a man who is generally accepting of women in his line of work (much to my relief), but the filmmakers didn't make it easy on him, seemingly filling Tyne Daly's character with as many girly stereotypes as they could think of. I think I was actually more annoyed by the pairing of her character and Clint's than even Harry was. The plot of this film is fairly thin with cookie cutter predictability which is by this point in the series rather par for the course, and between the dragging pace, the annoying character interaction, and the obvious plot direction, I found The Enforcer to be rather tough to sit through with my eyes open. This is about as far from the quality of the first Dirty Harry film as you can get.

Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome
Director George Miller disappointed me with Mad Max, then won my admiration with The Road Warrior, but unfortunately he's left me with a sour taste in my mouth with the third and final Mad Max film: Beyond Thunderdome. This time around, Max has wandered his way into a nasty place known as Bartertown in seach of his stolen transportation and belongings. In exchange for the safe return of all of his Earthly possessions Max agrees to enter a fight to the death with a tyrannical set of opponents known as Master and Blaster. Later exiled from the community, Max finds himself in the company of a band of children hiding in the desert and is charged with saving them all from the wrath of Bartertown and it's inhabitants. It's hard to say how far over the edge of rational thought and believability a film can wander before it becomes unbearable, but Beyond Thunderdome found itself well past the line of acceptable wackiness for me. The film had a horrible flow that felt as though the writers had no idea what they wanted to accomplish with it, and none of the characters this time around made me give a damn about them, including Max himself. There were a few noteworthy concepts such as the idea of a group of people trying to preserve the memory of a more civilized time through spoken word passed on through the generations or the Thunderdome itself with combatants strapped to large bungee cords bouncing around the ring with chainsaws and spears, but in the end there wasn't nearly enough worthwhile content in this film to win me over. If you're on a Road Warrior high, don't bring yourself down by subjecting yourself to this sloppy mess.

Chinatown
Jack Nicholson plays a private detective hired to spy on a cheating husband, but after exploiting his mark, discovers that he's been duped. At this point, with his reputation and personal self-image on the line, he'll stop at nothing to uncover the truth behind a mystery that seems to grow larger and deeper with every new clue and lead that he stumbles upon. I'll say this much for Chinatown: I never saw the finale coming from a mile away. I guess that is what has cemented this movie in it's place as one of the most respected film noirs of all time. Beyond even the shock of the twist ending though, I was amazed by the rather disturbing revelations leading up to the climax. I didn't think that such disturbing subject matter would have been brought into the public eye in such a way back in the mid-seventies when this movie was made, and it makes me all the more surprised to know that so many people still love this movie today. It has a very dark core concept, but I suppose that all of the aspects surrounding said core are good enough that it makes the film acceptable. Sorry to be so cryptic, but I'd hate to deprive anyone from discovering the secret behind Chinatown for themselves. Just be warned...it's probably the furthest thing from what you'd expect.

Audition
A Japanese man whose wife has died is lonely, but shy when it comes to meeting new women. A friend of his suggests that since they work in the film industry they hold a casting call for young women, allowing his grief-stricken friend to essentially interview potential dates under the guise of an audition for a role in a movie. One such girl catches his eye and they quickly begin a modest relationship, but as time goes by he learns the hard way that you cannot always judge a book by it's cover. After watching director Takashi Miike's episode of the Showtime show Masters of Horror entitled Imprint, I felt compelled to look for more of his work. Imprint was so graphic and disturbing that it wasn't even allowed to air on Showtime, and in attempting to find titles in the same vein as this movie by Miike, I came across Audition. Unfortunately, I preferred Imprint over this film, and despite how many of my fellow reviewers have talked up the frightening and sickening nature of the film's climax, I felt that it was rather tame in comparison to the Masters of Horror episode. For the average viewer who is not as readily willing (and in many cases eager) to watch extreme violence in their films as I am, Audition is certainly not a wise choice of entertainment. However, anyone who finds enjoyment in sitting through repeat viewings of such "torture porn" movies as Saw or Hostel should have no real problems making it through this film. It is a bit slow leading up to the shocking climax though, which I think makes it a more successful horror flick than those I just mentioned.

Drunken Master
Having shamed his family by beating up a member of another prestigious family in their village, Wong Fei-Hung (Jackie Chan) is forced by his father to train with an infamously demanding old kung-fu master. Though his playful antics clash with those of his new mentor, Wong Fei-Hung sticks to his studies and eventually earns the honor of being taught the mysterious, difficult, and extremely effective art of drunken boxing. Meanwhile, an assassin with a devastating kick known as Thunderleg has been hired to murder Wong Fei-Hung's father. Catching word of the intended murder of his father, Wong Fei-Hung returns to his home just in time to intercept Thunderleg, but will his new drunken boxing skills help him to beat his adversary, and for that matter, will he remember how to use all of his newly-learned moves? Drunken Master is the movie that put Jackie Chan on the map, and despite it's age, it is still easy to see why it achieved just that. Over the years I have seen numerous Jackie Chan vehicles, all of which include exciting fight sequences, daring stunts, and amazing feats of physical ability, but none is quite as jaw-droppingly impressive as Drunken Master. This movie doesn't have any action-packed car chases or wild gun fights, but what it does have is demonstration after shocking demonstration of Jackie Chan's raw physical prowess and skill. Watching Chan simply train in this movie is stunning, so just imagine what the fights are like. There is no flash to be found here. No huge budget or special effects. Just pure physical mastery and intense hand to hand combat. Some of Chan's other movies may be more exciting or adventurous, but when it comes to sheer amazement, nothing comes close to Drunken Master. I've always enjoyed Jackie Chan's movies, but after seeing Drunken Master I truly respect him as a physical performer.

Pacific Heights
Having recently bought and renovated a beautiful home in San Francisco, the unmarried couple of Patty Palmer (Melanie Griffith) and Drake Goodman (Matthew Modine) are ready to begin renting out the two rooms downstairs to help pay for their at-long-last-completed work on the house. They rent one apartment to a kindly Asian couple, and the other, through a series of rather curious and suspicious events, to a man named Carter Hayes (Michael Keaton). For a short while things seem to be going swimmingly, but soon Patty and Drake come into conflict with Carter over some disputes concerning the rent and Hayes' odd behavior. Before they know it, the two of them are in an all-out war with Carter, who always seems to be one step ahead of them, and they find themselves quickly losing ground. I was initially drawn to Pacific Heights by Michael Keaton, who I always love to see in a role as a nutcase (a la Beetlejuice and Desperate Measures), and while the film is quite good, Keaton didn't actually prove to be the best part of the experience. He is certainly good in the role of the crazed Carter Hayes, but the desperate and seemingly hopeless characters played by Griffith and Modine are who really drive the events taking place. One of the greatest compliments that I can give this film is that it is unpredictable. By the end the suspense is so high that I couldn't draw my attention from the screen, which is why I find it so strange to say that I wish the stakes would have perhaps been a little bit higher. Pacific Heights wasn't at all what I expected it to be, but in the end that turned out to be for the best.

Taxi Driver
Having recently made an effort to go back and watch some of the films that are widely regarded as classics now that I have easy access to them all via Netflix, I've found that perhaps more often than not I don't entirely agree with those who rant and rave about how great certain films are. Such is not the case with Martin Scorcese's Taxi Driver, which is perhaps one of the most critically lauded of those "classics" of which I speak. Taxi Driver was, in my opinion, the complete package. A great story, great acting, great, memorable characters, and although by this point in his career he hadn't quite begun using all of the very specific directorial stylization that he would later become known for, great directing by the undeniably gifted Martin Scorcese. Taxi Driver follows the story of a recently returned Vietnam vet named Travis Bickle as he deals with his insomnia by taking long, overnight shifts as (as the title would suggest) a taxi driver. With no hobbies or interests to speak of and an inability to connect with or express himself to others, Bickle spends his free time ruminating over the state of his country and it's leaders, all the while collecting a menagerie of weapons and grudges in his small, one bedroom New York City apartment. For much of it's running time Taxi Driver doesn't seem to have a clear narrative path, but I was with it all the way and came out of my first viewing of the film immediately wishing that I could relive the magnificent experience of seeing it for the first time all over again. I have trouble attempting to name any flaws in the film (aside from the strange color choices made during parts of it's climax in order to squeeze in under the qualifications for what at the time passed as an R rating), and with a cast comprised of Robert DeNiro, Harvey Keitel, Peter Boyle, Cybil Shepherd, Albert Brooks, a young Jodie Foster, and director-extraordinaire Scorcese himself, that's no big surprise.

Marathon Man
On the same night of his rather distant brother's death, Thomas Levy (Dustin Hoffman) learns that his sibling wasn't exactly who he said he was. Secretly a member of a United States government group known as "The Division", Tom's brother Henry (Roy Sheider) is killed by a nazi group lead by a former slave camp officer who is after a fortune in diamonds originally stolen during wartime. Thomas, a history student following in his controversial father's footsteps, is unwittingly drawn into the conspiracy brought to his doorstep by his well-meaning brother and must use all of his savvy to not only escape unscathed, but also put an end to the wrong-doings of Dr. Christian Szell, aka The White Angel (Laurence Olivier). I'm usually not one to complain about movies being too long, but as is the case with a number of older films (in my humble, modern-minded opinion) about twenty minutes of Marathon Man's unnecessarily long and altogether ineffective shots could have been cut out of the running time to make it a little more exciting and bit less drab. Conversely, I felt that the torture scene involving some disconcerting dental tools could have packed a bit more of a punch if it had lasted longer. A few good scenes of suspense and action are sprinkled throughout the movie, including Hoffman's pre-torture struggle to avoid capture, his post-torture escape from his captors, and a brief showdown at a house in the country. All in all I found Marathon Man to be a less-than impressive film based around a pretty good plot that is worth (forgive me for suggesting this) remaking.

Twilight Zone: The Movie
Based upon the show of the same name, Twilight Zone is a series of four short films by big name directors such as Steven Spielberg and John Landis. In the first segment a racist gets his comeuppance by unusual means, in the second a group of senior citizens realize that youth isn't all it's cracked up to be, in the third a traveling woman discovers the strange secret behind a young boy and his family, and in the final segment a man on an airplane suspects that a monster has stowed away on his flight. The Twilight Zone television show worked so well because even if you didn't like a particular episode, there was always a completely new and different one the following week. Unfortunately, in the case of the film, what you see is what you get. I didn't particularly enjoy any of the segments of Twilight Zone: The Movie. They were all either predictable, poorly conceived, boring, or all of the above. The one thing that I truly liked about the film were the creepy puppets in Joe Dante's sequence, but beyond looking kind of neat they were essentially useless. I'll take the old black and white show over this film any day.

Romper Stomper
I'm a big fan of the film American History X, which is why, when I heard it compared to the film Romper Stomper, I immediately began trying to track down a copy. Having now seen the film, it is true that Romper Stomper and American History X have in common a good bit of rather extreme violence and stories both driven by racism, but what Romper Stomper lacked that American History X delivered were characters who I cared about and who made the story more enjoyable through their onscreen presence. Romper Stomper is also the film that opened a lot of doors for Russell Crowe early on in his career, but had I not already known who he was when I watched it, I'm not sure that I would have singled his out as a noteworthy performance. What it really comes down to is that while the acts of the characters in the film were often extreme, they didn't leave much of an impact on me. The troubled young female character starts off the film as a whiny, rebellious bitch and that fact doesn't change by the end of the movie. Russell Crowe's character is really only there to antagonize the two main characters, which he does just fine, but is otherwise rather one dimensional. Romper Stomper was a well made film, though I feel like it maybe gets a little more credit than it deserves. The story is by no means boring, but it's not very compelling either, and more often than not I found myself wondering why the series of events being depicted onscreen were worth basing an entire movie on them. Certainly do check out Romper Stomper though if you're in the mood for "a bit of the old ultra-violence."

Operation Condor
Originally released in Asia as Armour of God II, the previous installment of the series hadn't been released in the states by the time this one arrived, so it's title was changed to Operation Condor. Considering that this is a sequel to a film that anyone following the American naming system for the series would not have seen yet, the opening of the movie is a bit confusing. Characters who we are already expected to know from the previous film galavant around with little to no introduction and due to this the pace moves very fast as well for first time viewers. Operation Condor has four key action sequences, but unfortunately most of them are set pieces and not straight up fight scenes. The set pieces are both original and funny, but I would have preferred to see Jackie Chan throw a few more punches and kicks. The hotel sequence is by far the most entertaining, but for pure shock value, the wind tunnel scenes at the film's climax are by far Operation Condor's most notable.

Following
The first feature length (just barely at 69 minutes) film of Batman Begins helmsman Christopher Nolan's directorial career, Following is a very moody, low budget black and white movie. The story centers around a wannabe writer who spends his days following random people around town as inspiration for characters in his stories. When he has a chance meeting with a small-time thief he goes from innocently tailing strangers to breaking and entering, and before he knows it he finds himself in some deep trouble. For fans of Nolan's Memento, Following is a must-see. It employs out of order editing much like Memento as well as a thrilling mystery story-line to rival it. The quality of the acting isn't perfect, but never really takes away from the events onscreen, and the plot is smart and snappy enough that you won't really care if anyone ever slips up. Following is one of those rare films that makes up for it's low budget with originality and a bang for it's buck. Seeing this film, it's no wonder that Christopher Nolan is fast becoming a household name.

Gates of Heaven
Proving that you can make a documentary based around just about anything that you can think of, director Errol Morris' Gates of Heaven centers on pet cemeteries, their owners and operators, and the people whose pets occupy them. I've seen a few documentaries in my time, but I am certainly not well versed in the genre. I have, however, been interested in getting into watching some more documentaries for a while now, though my first foray into this new goal did nothing to compel me to pursue it further. Gates of Heaven had the standard moments of glaring reality that make any documentary worth watching, but overall I found it to be stagnant, slowly paced, and, to be blunt, boring as hell. Morris was obviously going for a very simple, stylistic film, but I was not at all impressed by what he ended up with. I've got no real interest in the subject of pet cemeteries, so what I was relying on while watching this film was for the stories of the individuals onscreen and Morris' composure of those scenes to draw me in, but this never really occurred. A simple trick to make the movie a little more bearable would have been for Morris to employ the use of some background music, but instead the entire running time was devoid of song aside from the few occasions when one of the cemetery owners played his guitar. In fact, the perfect way to describe what is wrong with this movie is just that: a film about pet cemeteries featured some dude who worked at one playing his guitar. What is the point in that? What was the point of this movie?

Operation Condor 2: The Armour of the Gods
Operation Condor 2 was released in Asia as Armour of God, but didn't make it's way to the U.S. until after it's sequel (Armour of God II) had already been released stateside as Operation Condor, hence the name Operation Condor 2: The Armour of the Gods. The main problem with this film is the severe lack of action. Watching a Jackie Chan film with no action scenes is like buying a sandwich with no meat between the bread. The general idea is there but you don't get the part you really wanted. To make up for the lack of action throughout, there is one long fight sequence which closes out the movie, however I still felt cheated. Action films generally have three or four fight scenes spread throughout their running time, but there was nary a flying kick nor a backflip until the last fifteen minutes of the movie. Considering that the plot is usually of no concern to a Jackie Chan film, there's really no reason to sit through first two acts of Operation Condor 2.

Death Wish
After his wife is beaten to death and his daughter is orally raped to the brink of insanity by Jeff Goldblum, New York City architect Charles Bronson takes to the streets to put a stop to violent crime in his neighborhood armed only with a revolver and his mustache. That's essentially the entire plot. Bronson, whose character used to be a fairly passive individual, grows a profound, yet misguided set of balls as soon as he finds himself with a gun in his hand and begins literally looking for trouble so as to turn the tables on his repeated would-be attackers. Had this film been made today instead of in 1974, the action would have been a lot more over the top and the moral of the story would have been completely lost in the flurry of ensuing gunfights. Wait...that did sort of happen in James Wan's 2007 remake (*ahem* rip-off) Death Sentence. Death Wish did manage to carry a bit of a moral message along with it's highly unlikely series of events, though I almost feel silly saying that considering how unbelievable the film is. Beyond the occasional silliness though, I enjoyed Death Wish for what it is. some other people must have enjoyed it too, because there are four sequels, none of which I'm too eager to see.

WIBW @ The Movies: VANTAGE POINT

2008-03-03T03:07:00.000-05:00

The Plot: During a political summit in Spain, the president of the United States is shot and multiple bombs are detonated around the assembly. In the ensuing chaos, news broadcast personnel, secret service agents, local law enforcement, and even uninvolved civilians attempt to discover the mystery behind the attack.

The Review: Much like the best episodes of the television series LOST, Vantage Point is chock full of unexpected plot twists and stupefying revelations. So much so, in fact, that I'm finding it hard to devise a review of the film without giving away any important plot points or surprising story elements. As such, you should be warned that this review may contain some minor spoilers, but none so influential to the plot that they will ruin the experience to watching the film.

Vantage Point begins with an unusual method of telling it's story. Within the first ten or fifteen minutes of the film the president (William Hurt) has already been shot and we witness the effects that this event has on a small group of people. Shortly thereafter the film pauses, "rewinds" itself, and retells the same events we've already seen, but through the eyes of a different individual. When all is said and done, the viewer will have experienced the shooting of the president and the events which immediately follow about five or six times. While this is certainly an original means of telling the story, I have to admit that I was a little annoyed by it after a while. It felt a bit more like a cheap stunt than a totally worthwhile plot device, but that is not to say that it doesn't work. Some people will accept the nonlinear storytelling more readily than others, but though it does get a bit tired after a while, it achieves what it is supposed to and the early events of the film unfold in an intriguing enough way. My biggest complaint involving the staging of the movie is that because the story jumps around so much there are certain elements of it's timeline that don't seem to sync up properly. If you look closely enough at the progression of the film, it's not hard to notice that during some segments certain events occur much more or less rapidly than the same events do in other segments when the time between them isn't as necessary to see fleshed out. Some people might call that a picky critique, but I would call it a flaw on account of the filmmakers. Again, not a weakness that ruins the film, but more-so one that should provide some good argumentative conversation with your friends after viewing it.

Due to the unconventional set-up of the film which allows the focus to fall on so many different characters, no one actor or actress truly feels as though they are the main character for very long. When all is said and done Dennis Quaid's secret service agent character Thomas Barnes is the most obvious candidate for the title of lead character, but he doesn't necessarily earn this distinction with a superior amount of screen time until near the movie's climax. Along the way we see the events of the political summit gone wrong through the eyes of a multitude of different characters. Perhaps the most short-changed is Sigourney Weaver, who plays the woman in charge of the news crew which is televising the event. Her segment is the first of the film, though when the story moves on to the other characters, hers is essentially forgotten and, in hindsight, really served no use in the story other than to introduce the audience to the events transpiring at the summit. Similarly, Eduardo Noriega's character, a local Spanish police officer, didn't seem nearly as important to the plot as he should have been. His character seemed pretty interesting, though it would appear that the details of his involvement in the assassination were lost in an effort to spend more time with other individuals and events.

Another character who is the focus of his own segment is a vacationing civilian with a video camera played by Forest Whitaker. For a man of such great talent, Whitaker seemed to me to be rather heinously overacting at several points during this film, which isn't necessarily surprising when you consider the role that he is playing. He plays the emotional role that is supposed to tug on the viewers' heart strings amidst the chaos which envelops the rest of the running time. His story is intertwined with that of an innocent little girl (Alicia Zapien), and it seemed as though the writers really had to stretch to get her and Whitaker to interact through several parts of the movie. In the same way that I enjoyed Paul Haggis' 2004 film Crash, but was annoyed by some of it's melodrama, the misuse of Forest Whitaker's character as a selfless every-man meant primarily to warm the viewers' hearts felt a bit cheap. Other actors of note in Vantage Point are Matthew Fox as one of Barnes' fellow secret service agents, Edgar Ramirez as a man who is being forced to participate in something he wishes he weren't a part of, and Saïd Tghmaoui as a man that you'll love to hate (or is that hate to love?).

The characters aside, Vantage Point has a lot to offer as a way to occupy a few hours of your time. The premise is rather shallow, but the plot is filled with enough twists, turns, and flat out surprises to catch anyone off guard; and really, who doesn't love a little mystery in their suspense thrillers? Speaking of which, this film has no shortage of suspense or thrills. There are chase scenes and explosions abound in Vantage Point, but the highlight of the movie's action sequences has got to be the car chase leading up to it's climax. I have openly stated before that Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof provides my all-time favorite car chase, but the one in this movie is of a completely different breed. As opposed to the wide open dirt roads and countrysides of Tarantino's half of Grindhouse, Vantage Point's chase scene between agent Barnes and some of the film's villains takes place in the narrow, crowded streets of Spain. Weaving in and out of lines of cars instead of old fences and cows provides for a hell of a gripping action sequence, which is almost reason enough alone to check out the film.

The Verdict: The unconventional method that the makers of Vantage Point chose to use to tell their story will certainly alienate this film from some of it's potential audience, but without it there wouldn't be much of a point in watching it's events unfold in the first place. Some great acting and superbly thrilling action sequences manage to more than balance out the accompanying sub-par performances and plot holes. While it surely won't go down in history as an example of flawless filmmaking or storytelling, Vantage Point is certainly original and gripping enough to be worthy of at least a viewing or two.

WIBW @ The Movies: BE KIND, REWIND

2008-02-24T18:13:00.000-05:00

The Plot: Having accidentally been magnetized after attempting to sabotage a nearby power plant, Jerry (Jack Black) unknowingly erases all of the videotapes in the local Be Kind, Rewind movie rental establishment. With the store's owner out of town, Jerry and Mike (Mos Def) do the only thing that they can think of to keep the business running smoothly: they begin recording (or "sweding") their own versions of the erased movies on the blank videocassettes. Before long their sweded films become more popular among the local movie-renting community than the original films themselves, but their success is put into jeopardy when some angry film studio executives arrive on the scene.

The Review: In the past I haven't been a big fan of director Michel Gondry's work. The two films of his which I had seen before were Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Science of Sleep, neither of which I particularly loved. Yet when I saw the trailer for Be Kind, Rewind, I was immediately interested. There's just something about the idea of a couple of guys remaking classic films in next to no time with no budget that intrigued me. With the addition of the actors involved, I could hardly wait to see this film.

Perhaps the single thing that I was most excited to see in Be Kind, Rewind was Jack Black's performance. My interest in and appreciation of Black have risen and fallen a lot over time. His involvement in Mr. Show and his band Tenacious D's first album, for example, really caught my eye (or ear) and appealed to me. Over the years he has seemed to fall into a repetitious spiral though, constantly playing the same types of characters, being involved in the same types of movies, and in the case of his film Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, straight up rehashing old material for the big screen. With Be Kind, Rewind however, it appeared that he may finally be stepping out of his loud, obnoxious, rock music-loving mold and into a different type of character, and luckily that is exactly what he did. For the first time in quite a while I felt that Black's performance was fresh and interesting, and he was different enough from his past stereotypical characters that I didn't feel like I was just watching Jack Black play Jack Black yet again. It was nice to have him make me laugh without resorting to his usual bag of tricks.

In the case of Mos Def, while I wasn't immediately sure about his ability to pull off a comical role in Be Kind, Rewind, he surprised me as Mike, the video store clerk. In his past performances in 16 Blocks and The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as well as The Italian Job (to an extent), Mos Def proved that he could act, but he created a great yin to Jack Black's comedic yang in this film. Never really stepping outside of a sort of shy, nervous character portrayal, Mos Def is able to make the audience laugh just by being a normal guy instead of playing his role too over-the-top and ludicrous. In a bit of a background role, Danny Glover provides a few humorous moments just based on the fact that he's Danny Glover, but aside from him the only other actors in Be Kind, Rewind that deliver on the film's humor quota are Jack Black and Mos Def. Any other really comedic moments are courtesy of director Michel Gondry's slightly skewed way of telling a story.

While, as I mentioned previously, I'm not historically Michel Gondry's biggest supporter, one thing that I have never denied is that the man is remarkably inventive and has a great visual style. His knack for creating some of the best CG-free visual effects in use today is the one thing that I've always liked about his work, and also the one thing about his directorial style that I thought Be Kind, Rewind would be greatly lacking. Based on the footage I had seen prior to watching the movie, along with what I knew about the story, which is admittedly a good bit more down to Earth than some of his previous ventures, I didn't expect to see Gondry employ many of his signature dream-like visuals. Such was not the case though, as many of the "effects" in the film, especially those during the scenes in which Mike and Jerry were recording their own videos, are beautifully achieved with the ingenuity and low budget indie-sensibilities that Gondry has come to be known for. In fact, considering that the characters in the movie are amateurs when it comes to shooting films, many of the hands-on effects are portrayed in a rather exploitative way, allowing the viewer to fully understand what they are looking at more than is usually the case in a Gondry-helmed feature.

The hold-ups of Be Kind, Rewind, while indeed present, are few and slight, not really effecting the overall enjoyable experience of watching the movie to any great degree. Perhaps my biggest problem with Be Kind, Rewind is the base motivation behind the plot. Danny Glover's video store has two months to earn $60,000 for repairs before it is demolished to make way for newer, more streamlined architecture to take it's place. The "underdog who has to earn a seemingly unachievable amount of money by a deadline which they will inevitably make by the skin of their chinny-chin-chin to save something close to his/her/their heart" story is one of the most played-out in all of Hollywood. Even so, while this flaw was on my mind throughout the entire running time, I couldn't help but feel that by placing itself within the boundaries of this obvious stereotype, Be Kind, Rewind was making a "wink and a nod" comment about the stereotype itself in doing so. If such is the case though, Michel Gondry and company never specifically made this fact known. The other small problem plaguing the film is how easily every problem posed to the characters tended to resolve itself. With it's lighthearted approach to the subject matter, Be Kind, Rewind felt a bit more like a fairy tale than any other known genre anyway. This is proven more and more as the movie goes on when every problem is met with an unrealistically simple and easily-met solution, but given the overall feel of the film, this is not a fact that I would readily hold against it.

The Verdict: Be Kind, Rewind has plenty of laughs, heartfelt moments, and examples of interesting, inventive filmmaking to satisfy just about any movie-goer. Great, spot-on, and, in some cases, wholly original performances fill the cast of characters and an uncontrollable feeling of nostalgia for anyone who grew up watching video tapes is inevitable. While I didn't leave the theater after watching it with the same feeling of immediate adoration for what I'd just seen as I have after some other recent viewings, Be Kind, Rewind is an easy movie to recommend to just about anyone.

WIBW @ The Movies: JUMPER

2008-02-16T11:14:00.000-05:00

The Plot: Based upon the first in a series of science fiction novels by author Steven Gould, Jumper follows a young man named David Rice, who, after a harrowing experience in his youth, discovers that he has the ability to teleport from place to place just by thinking about it. After years of living the secret life of a superhuman, which has brought him considerable wealth and loneliness, David attempts to reconnect with his high school crush only to be tracked down by a man named Roland who belongs to an underground society of people known as Paladins. Just as David discovers that there are other people out there with the same unusual gift as him, he also discovers that the Paladins are intent on ridding the world of David and his kind, whom they refer to as "Jumpers".

The Review: While I thought that the commercials and trailers for Jumper made it look like an incredibly entertaining movie, I will admit that in the week or so leading up to the release of the film I was beginning to question just how good it would be based on the massive array of bad reviews I'd seen and heard about it online. Much to my pleasant surprise, my initial instincts proved correct, and I found myself exiting the theater after watching Jumper having just enjoyed the hell out of what I'd seen. Jumper isn't Shakespeare (or perhaps more appropriately Asimov, Clark, or Dick), but it is an eye-pleasing, fun movie with a hell of a lot of original and entertaining ideas.

Where to begin? You know the scene in the White House that opens X-Men 2 featuring Nightcrawler teleporting all over the place? Remember how damn cool that scene was? Well stretch that incredible sequence out into a full length movie and you've essentially got the backbone of Jumper. The idea of teleportation is certainly nothing new, but what the writers/director of Jumper have done is to plant the seed of this age old science fiction concept and allow it's roots to grow, following them in all sorts of new directions that no one has ever touched on before. I don't want to say too much about the specifics of Hayden Christensen's character's abilities and the way that Sam Jackson's character combats them, but suffice to say that every time a new sci-fi rich aspect of the plot involving teleportation was introduced, I, as a massive fan of crazy, out there ideas, could hardly stop myself from grinning with delight at each of the intelligent, provocative instances being placed in front of me onscreen. The way that the teleportation in the film works is a fresh take on a tired idea to say the least. The weapons that the Paladins use against the Jumpers are insanely cool and unconventional. The best of all though? "The machine". When this device makes it's first true appearance toward the climax of the film the plot seemed to reach a whole new level of excitement and cleverness as multiple new possibilities were introduced. Not to mention, beyond the pure nerd-fodder of Jumper, it included a lot of great exposition on what it would be like to live the life of someone empowered by an inhuman gift. Just as the Spiderman films tend to dwell on the responsibilities and hardships of the life of a superhuman, Jumper offers several examples of what the upsides of such a situation might be. It was an incredibly gratifying feeling watching a movie about super powers that wasn't strictly a vehicle for heroics and a do-gooder mentality.

My biggest concern going into Jumper was that, like many action films these days (including most superhero films), the action sequences which provide the most compelling reason for stepping foot into the theater to see one of them would be shot in a confusing manner. Coming off of The Bourne Identity, a film series known for it's quick cutting action shots and shaky, handheld camera work, Doug Liman, while having made multiple films that I enjoy, was the trump card on this occasion. Fortunately, unlike the majority of the action fare out there these days, every moment of Jumper was as clear and concise as could be both during and between the fight/chase scenes with excellent accompanying special effects around every turn. Another possible fault of the film going in was the casting of Hayden Christensen. Having quite disliked his performance in the second and third Star Wars prequels as Anakin Skywalker, I wasn't sure that he would be able to carry Jumper as the the film's main character. Thankfully, he seems to be able to handle himself quite well in front of the camera when he's not sporting long braids and discussing the force. Along with Christensen, Sam Jackson lights up the screen, snow white hair and all, as the evil Roland. Jackson really impressed me in Jumper by not succumbing to the urge to rely on the current popularity of the man behind the character in fleshing out his role. Sam is such an icon these days that it's hard not to just see the celebrity onscreen instead of whoever he's playing (such as was the case with Snakes on a Plane, among others), but he really seemed to lose himself in his role in Jumper, creating a great villain that I would be glad to see revisited again and again. Playing Griffin, the film's other Jumper, Jamie Bell was another great choice for this movie. Finally, while she was certainly the least impressive of the core cast, Rachel Bilson delivered a passable performance as the love interest of Hayden's David.

The Verdict: Try as I may, I just cannot think of anything bad to say about Jumper. Science fiction and action have been rather strange bedfellows in way too many films in the past, but here they fit seamlessly together to form a smart, original, intriguing, and overall enjoyable movie-going experience. A superhero movie without any real "heroes" to speak of, Jumper bends multiple genres into a new aesthetically pleasing shape that was as welcome and refreshing to me among the sea of recent sub-par-to-horrible sci-fi action films as a bottle of water surely is to a man lost in the desert.

WIBW @ The Movies: RAMBO

2008-01-26T06:50:00.000-05:00

The Plot: Many years after his last documented conflict, John Rambo is living peacefully and simply in Thailand. After a great deal of convincing, he agrees to escort a small group of Christian aid workers across the border into the hot zone that is Burma via his boat. Not long after their arrival, the village that the group has come to help is attacked by the Burmese army and Rambo is called upon to lead a gang of mercenaries into the region to rescue the missing American civilians.

The Review: While I enjoy and appreciate the original three Rambo films for what they are (relatively mindless eighties action movies), they have never graced my list of favorite action films. This, the fourth installment of the confusingly titled Rambo/First Blood franchise, continues the tradition of being about mindless action, but adds a great production value, a cast of competent actors, and a lot more realism than we've seen in the series up to this point to the mix.

With the possible exception of First Blood, Rambo is a massive step up in the plot department. This feels a bit odd to say though, considering that there is very little substance to the story in this film. The plot of Rambo is literally as simple as "some people are taken hostage and Rambo and co. have to get them back". There are certainly statements being made in this film about the state of affairs in Burma and what it means to have compassion or contempt for your fellow man, but these things don't play too large of a role in the story line. Rambo knows it's place in the modern film landscape and doesn't try to over-step it's bounds by becoming too complicated for it's own good like so many action films try to do these days. It is short, simple, and to the point. And speaking of short, though IMDb claims that Rambo is ninety three minutes long, I'm (almost) positive that it is in fact shorter than an hour and a half. Either that or my cell phone's clock is broken.

I dare say that the one major flaw in Rambo is also one of it's greatest strengths. I am of course speaking of the violence. Not since the horrifically realistic opening sequence of Saving Private Ryan have I seen brutally eye-opening violence of such severity in a movie. If you think Stephen Spielberg's beaches of Normandy scene was gory and gut-wrenchingly horrendous though, you haven't seen anything until you've watched Rambo. As big of a fan of horror and action movies as I am, it takes a lot to wow me in the violence/gore department, but I found myself with my mouth agape at several points throughout Rambo. The violence and shocking imagery in the action scenes of this film simply cannot be described. You have to see it to believe it. As I said, this aspect of the movie is both it's greatest flaw and it's greatest strength. There were some people who walked out of the theater immediately following the scene in which the Burmese army attacked and ravaged the small village that the aid workers were attempting to help, proving that the reality of the situation is just too much for some to stomach. Then again, had the violence been toned down or avoided in any way a lot of Rambo's validity would have gone right out the window and it would have become just as dismissible as the previous installments of the series.

At 61 years old, Sylvester Stallone hasn't played the character of John Rambo for just under two whole decades, but take my word for it when I say that he's still got it. His character felt just as capable of causing massive amounts of carnage as he always has, and any shortcomings which he may show in Rambo are completely understandable based upon the age of the character, not just the age of the actor portraying him. Not only did Stallone bring the character of Rambo back with perfection however, he also wrote and directed the film expertly. The men playing the mercenaries accompanying Rambo on his rescue mission were over the top in every way that you would expect characters like theirs to be, but were also likable and all well cast. Julie Benz and Paul Schulze's characters were also stereotypical in ways that served to advance the plot and character development of the film. The Burmese soldiers served their purpose well, which was simply to make the audience hate them to the point that they were rooting for them to die. As much of a surprise as it is for me to say it, for what it was, Rambo was probably about as perfect a film as it could have been.

The Verdict: The action of Rambo is stunning in both the sense that it is shocking and incredible to watch. The film doesn't try to be overly deep or intelligent and has the piece of mind to remain short and to the point, which is what any movie of this caliber should do. It has an impact and is both well made and fun to watch. Rambo isn't Shakespeare, but it's a damn good movie.

Random Rapid Fire Reviews - Nov./Dec. '07

2008-01-22T07:55:00.000-05:00

Futurama: Bender's Big Score
For fans of Futurama who have been waiting eagerly for it's return, the wait is over and it was more than worth it. Bender's Big Score continues the series' trend of mixing gut-busting humor with slick visuals and mind-bending science fiction concepts as though the show never left. The whole cast is back and they've all picked up right where they left off without a hitch. A new species of aliens have "spammed" Earth and are in the process of taking over the entire planet while, through a series of flashbacks and time travel sequences, the story of a new character named Lars is revealed.

The Science of Sleep
Director Michel Gondry, master of the infusion of modern and retro special effects, tells a story which is, in tone, not all that far removed from his previous film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. A young man named Stephane falls in love with a girl named Stephanie who lives across the hall in his mother's building. His desires may be strong, but his will is weak, leading to a series of uncomfortable and morally ambiguous encounters between Stephane and the girl of his dreams...which is a literal term in this case. Stephane's dreams begin to mix with reality until not even the surreal visual effects seem to be able to help the audience to determine when the main character is awake or asleep. The story of The Science of Sleep is touching, but also often too confusing to allow the emotions of the viewer to let their guard down long enough to sympathize with the characters. My favorite aspects of the film were it's (rightfully) dreamlike visuals, but as was the case with Eternal Sunshine, they weren't enough to completely win me over.

The Wrong Man
Henry Fonda plays a musician named Christopher Balestrero who lived an average life with his beautiful wife and two sons until one day he made the mistake of looking like a criminal. As the title of this 1956 Alfred Hitchcock film suggests, Balestrero is accused of committing a crime that he had nothing to do with. After being run through the local prison and court systems, Balestrero and his wife are driven to the brink of madness by a situation that they aren't responsible for, but which they can't seem to extricate themselves from. The Wrong Man's story is incredibly interesting, especially due to the fact that it is based very closely on true events, but two things it never manages to be are exciting or suspenseful. This film plays more like a police procedural than a mystery and often focuses too much on the steps of the process of arresting someone and trying them than it does on finding the true culprit. The wrong man also manages to be so depressing in it's hopelessness that even when things sounded as though they may turn out okay, I still felt uncontrollably despondent.

Dirty Harry
Nowadays you can throw a rock in the "action" aisle of a Blockbuster or Hollywood Video and you will inevitably hit a film about a cop who breaks all the rules to catch a bad guy and argues incessantly with the chief of police. This has become a stereotype so long-lasting and frequently occurring that it seems as though it was never an original idea. Well, it was when Dirty Harry was released in 1971. The title character of this movie played by Clint Eastwood was the first real onscreen cop to disobey the system in a big way to do what's right and face the consequences for it. When a maniac seems to be performing random acts of violence around San Francisco and demanding payoffs, Inspector Harry Callahan and his new partner are the only ones willing to step forward and do what is necessary to diffuse the situation. By today's standards this film is nothing special, but taken in the context that it was the first of it's kind, Dirty Harry is an exceptional achievement in the action genre that any fan of Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, or Bad Boys should take the time to check out.

Magnum Force
The first of four sequels to the classic action movie Dirty Harry, Magnum Force comes close to the level of quality that the previous installment of the franchise achieved, but inevitably falls a bit short. I mentioned in my review of Dirty Harry that it was the first of it's kind and a film that countless others had copied from. Somehow, only two years after the release of the original, Magnum Force manages to feel as though it is just another in a long line of copycat films. Scenes such as the one in which Clint Eastwood as Harry stops some hijackers from making off with a plane from the San Francisco International Airport feel ridiculous and not very well thought out. The premise of the movie is original and interesting though, as a group of new recruits to the force are acting as judge, jury, and executioner and must be stopped by Harry, a fellow cop. My biggest complaint about Magnum Force is that it felt a bit anti-climactic at the end of the chase scene with the remaining loose cannon motorcycle cops, but the chases leading up to this sequence were enough to make up for the short-changed action.

Tootsie
While not the first film to tackle the subject of cross-dressing (I believe that honor may go to Edward D. Wood Jr's "Glen or Glenda?"), Tootsie is probably the best of the lot. Struggling actor Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) discovers that if he dresses up as a woman he can get regular acting work which will serve to fund his and roommate Jeff's (Bill Murray) own projects, but he unwittingly becomes best friends with a female costar (Jessica Lange) whom he's also fallen for, creating a sticky situation to say the least. Obviously the film that inspired the more recent Mrs. Doubtfire, I think that Tootsie works better mainly because the man doing the cross-dressing is Dustin Hoffman, who is known as more of a dramatic actor than Robin Williams, whose claim to fame is comedy. Hoffman does take rather well to the comedic moments in this film though, and I found myself laughing much more than I expected to.

The Mist
Shortly after David Drayton (Thomas Jane) and his son venture to a local grocery store to pick up a few things, they, as well as the rest of the occupants of the store, are trapped inside by a thick mist that has accumulated outside, and which seems to be the source of several varieties of horrifying, unearthly creatures. I have nothing but good things to say about this film. The screenplay and direction are incredible. Every single actor, including Jane's character's son (surprisingly for a child so young), gives an outstanding performance. The mood of The Mist is dark, disturbing, and foreboding, making for some truly memorable and effective scenes of horror when the creatures hidden in the gloom attack. The monsters themselves are all amazing to look at and have characteristics that made me, as a fan of science fiction and monster movies, smile uncontrollably with glee. For example, the word "tentacle" doesn't appear to leave much to the imagination, but the tentacle sequence toward the beginning of the movie is hair-raisingly horrifying and features the most original design for a squid-like body part that I've ever seen. In addition to the inhuman beings populating The Mist, Marcia Gay Harden plays a psychotic religious zealot who becomes the true villain of the film and did so in such a magnificent way that I get the feeling that whenever I see the actress' face in the future, I'll only be able to think of her as her despicable character in this movie. The visuals, acting, and directing aside, the pure concept of this film, which is based upon a story written by Stephen King, is just plain unnerving and creepy. Some of the best moments of The Mist come when the characters ask themselves the same questions that the audience is surely asking, such as "where did the mist come from?" and "how far does it reach?" After only one viewing I am positive that The Mist will become, much like Alien, Aliens, Predator, The Thing, and Tremors, a monster movie that I will watch repeatedly for the rest of my days.

Psycho (1960)
A beautiful female bank employee makes off with a sizable chunk of an investor's money to begin a new life with her boyfriend, but instead her life is ended in the most famous shower scene in cinema history. I'm sure that everyone is familiar with Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, so instead of explaining the film I'll just say what I thought of it. It's okay. As far as suspense goes I much prefer Hitchock's Rear Window and for achievements in filmmaking I would choose his film The Birds over this one, but for some reason Psycho gets all the fanfare. I assume that this is because of the odd subject matter of the film and the curious identity of it's killer, but as the passing of time generally seems to make younger audiences more and more accepting of the bizarre and unusual, Norman Bates' disorder/kink didn't really shock me all that much (not that I didn't already know what it was going into the movie). However, as underwhelmed as I was with Psycho's big climactic reveal, what really bugged me about the film was the fact that the viewer wasn't trusted to understand what they'd just seen. Instead there is a long, dull scene in which the plot is essentially laid out in front of us by a psychologist and some very forced-sounding dialogue. I understand that this portion of the film was there for the benefit of the audiences at the time of it's original release, but time hasn't been very kind to it. Psycho isn't a bad movie, I just don't think it's as perfect as so many film buffs seem to believe it to be.

Castle Freak
Having recently watched the H.P. Lovecraft-inspired horror movies The Re-Animator and From Beyond from director Stuart Gordon, I found myself eagerly anticipating the discovery of more similar films. Much to my delight, I came across a little movie called Castle Freak. Released direct to video in 1995, not many people have even heard of Castle Freak, but in my opinion it belongs right up there with the two aforementioned horror masterpieces. The story follows a family who has inherited a castle in a foreign land which happens to have a hideously deformed person stalking it's halls. The plot sounds both simple and dumb, but I guarantee that this movie is neither of those things. Castle Freak's budget is low, but it's quality is high. The hands-on make-up and effects are impressive to say the least, and the direction is nothing short of that of Stuart Gordon's previous achievements. Frequent Gordon collaborators Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton lead a small, but able cast of unknowns, and the film's title character is not to be missed. Fans of Stuart Gordon or horror movies in general should seek this out at all costs, or for about $5 on eBay like me.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Here's a good example of a strange incident that occurs with me every now and then. I watch a film that is widely regarded as a masterpiece and find myself struggling to figure out how or why I don't feel the same way as the majority. Richard Dreyfuss plays a man who has a "close encounter" with some alien beings and then finds himself compelled to travel to a landmark out in the wilderness, however as he figures this out he manages to screw his life up pretty well. I enjoyed the ending of close encounters when the humans are attempting to communicate with the aliens, but I found just about everything up until that point to be a bit of a boring mess. When I watched Close Encounters I got the feeling that there was once a very clear and precise plot progression, but then it seemed that somewhere in the editing room somebody started chopping bits out and reordering things. The film isn't hard to understand, I just felt that it could have been a lot more focused. For a movie about aliens it could have also been a bit less slow and drab. The effects still stand up pretty well and I enjoy the core concept of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but I honestly don't see why it's regarded as such a classic.

Lord of Illusions
The most recent of horror master Clive Barker's directorial efforts, Lord of Illusions follows a morose private detective played by Scott Bakula as he accidentally uncovers the sinister dealings of a demonic cult whose master is on the verge of returning from the grave to wreak havoc upon the Earth. The private dick's heart of gold compels him to assist a professional illusionist (Kevin J. O'Connor) and his wife (Famke Janssen) in putting a stop to the resurrection; a task which takes him on a tour of the mystical underground of Los Angeles. For fans of Barker's Hellraiser series I'm sure that Lord of Illusions is quite a treat, but I can't imagine that it has much of an audience past that demographic. This film is filled with the requisite amount of demonic violence and weird, pseudo-gothic horror that is par for the course when Clive Barker is involved, and it also has a somewhat interesting plot. I will admit that the film could have moved a little faster, but my guess is that Barker was trying to infuse a bit of noir thinking into the mix, what with the stereotypically sarcastic, down on his luck private detective and all. The highlight of Lord of Illusions for me were the visual effects, which is a bit of a shock for me to even type considering that this film includes one of the worst computer generated effects that I have ever seen in a motion picture. Taking into account the period in time when this movie came out, it is understandable that any CG involved would be fairly poorly executed, but even so, whoever was in charge of animating the weird, floaty, transforming triangle thing that attacks Scott Bakula in Swann's mansion should be ashamed of themselves. The visual effects that so impressed me came mostly during the climax of the film when the demonic cult leader grows strange globules from his skin and fuses his moronic followers into the floor of their hideout. Lord of Illusions is no masterpiece of filmmaking, but it certainly turned out better than I expected it to based on the DVD packaging.

The Aviator
I've reviewed two other Martin Scorcese films in recent memory and in both of those cases, as well as this one, I find it hard to think of things to write about them. The Aviator is an incredible movie. In fact, it is so masterfully made that I can't really think of anything to critique about it. Why did I give it four stars instead of five, then? I suppose that's because I didn't like it quite as much as the other Scorcese films I've seen lately, but the only reason for that is that I wasn't quite as interested in the subject matter as I was with those others. The Aviator tells a partial biography of the life of Howard Hughes, the infamous film director and aircraft designer. As with the majority of biopics, The Aviator begins by showing the rise of someone with an interesting and wonderful life before turning things one hundred and eighty degrees on us about two thirds of the way into the film. The emotional roller coaster ride that Scorcese takes the viewer on is nothing short of spectacular, and there are plenty of memorable characters to meet along the way. Leonardo DiCaprio is his usual incredible self, and he is joined by Cate Blanchett as Catherine Hepburn and Kate Beckinsale in the most impressive role I've ever seen her in as Ava gardner. So long as you like to sit back and enjoy a good dramatic story, you can't go wrong with Scorcese, and you certainly can't go wrong with The Aviator.

North By Northwest
Mistaken for a secret agent by some foreign spies, advertising executive Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) is forced to first run for his life and then track down the man who he's been confused with to clear his name. Never quite sure who to trust or when he's safe, Thornhill is drugged, chased, and betrayed as he struggles to get to the bottom of his severe case of mistaken identity. North By Northwest is full of imagery that I've seen referenced or spoofed numerous times, but which I never knew the true origins of. Namely the scene in the country when Cary Grant is attacked by a crop-dusting plane and another during the climax when he scrambles across the giant stone faces of Mount Rushmore while being chased by gunmen. The reason that I'd seen so many homages to these scenes are because Alfred Hitchcock's suspenseful masterpiece is one of the first and greatest spy thrillers ever made. The funny thing about that statement is that there isn't a single spy in the entire movie. Almost every single scene involves another plot twist or a shocking reveal, and the viewer never quite knows what to expect next. It's tough to critique the specific details of the plot without giving much away, so I won't even try to go into the methods that Grant's character uses to search for the truth. Regardless, rest assured that so long as you don't mind campy old movies, North By Northwest is a classic genre film in every sense and deserves to be seen by audiences of all ages and generations.

I Am Legend
I Am Legend is the third feature film to be based upon the novel of the same name by Richard Matheson; the other two being The Last Man On Earth and The Omega Man. In the near future a plague erupts which turns most of mankind into pale, cannibalistic creatures who cannot stand sunlight, but leaving a select few people unharmed. Robert Neville (Will Smith) is a scientist and survivor of the disaster who has been living alone with his dog in New York City ever since the plague hit, trying to find a cure. The most impressive thing about I Am Legend has got to be the location. Using CG, the filmmakers were able to create an abandoned, rundown cityscape much like that of Danny Boyle's zombie film 28 Days Later. Seeing New york as barren and decrepit as it appears in the film is stunning to look witness. Will Smith gives, in my opinion, the best performance of his career as Neville, which is no small task considering that for the majority of the movie he has nobody to interact with, yet he keeps things interesting and moving along smoothly. My only real complaint with the film is that the CG vampire/zombie characters look ridiculous. The CG that made such a gorgeous cityscape was apparently not up to the task of creating realistic cannibal people. The movements and general appearance of them are anything but impressive, which begs the question, "why did they use CG instead of casting real people and using make-up effects?"

Knockaround Guys
Matty Demaret (Barry Pepper) asks his father, a New York mob boss (Dennis Hopper), for a job in an attempt to earn his respect. Finally in charge of one of his father's illegal dealings due in part to the convincing power of Teddy Deserve (John Malkovich), Matty enlists the help of a friend named Johnny Marbles (Seth Green), who promptly screws up the job. Now Matty and Marbles, along with Taylor (Vin Diesel) and Chris (Andrew Davoli), have to clean up their mess before they foul things up even further. If you've never heard of Knockaround Guys before, don't be surprised. Watching the film, it felt to me as though the project was once a high priority for the studio behind it (hence some of the big names), but somewhere along the way was recognized as the sub-par film that it eventually turned out to be. With a few tweaks to the story, the acting, and the direction here and there, Knockaround Guys probably could have held it's own up against similar films like Snatch or The Usual Suspects, but in it's current state it is never bound to garner much acclaim. The film is almost worth the time it takes to watch it just because of the star power involved, but not even that does much to make the plain old average story worth sitting through. It's not great and it's not horrible, it's just Knockaround Guys.

The Devil's Rejects
"The Devil's Rejects" is the creepy Captain Spaulding's pet name for his family of grotesque, redneck murderers who are on the run from the law in this sequel to House of 1,000 Corpses. I never saw the previous installment of Director Rob Zombie's twisted horror franchise in it's entirety, so perhaps that's one of the reasons why I didn't enjoy The Devil's Rejects, but I'd wager that seeing it wouldn't do much to sway my opinion. If I had to choose one word to describe this film, it would be "worthless". I say this because I literally don't think that it has any worth. I got absolutely nothing out of it except for close to two hours of pointless violence, unwarranted raunchiness, and self-indulgent flashiness. I really couldn't tell you what Rob Zombie's goal in making this film was, but even more perplexing to me is that so many people saw and somehow seemed to enjoy it. I'm never one to shy away from disturbing imagery or violence in a film, but I need some reason to be watching it in order to feel that it's portrayal is validated, and I got no such thing from The Devil's Rejects. One thing that I can think of which might have made the film better is if Zombie had decided whether he wanted us to like or loathe the main characters. At some points they seem like the villains of the film while at other times it is as if the viewer is supposed to give a damn about them. For the final sequence, imagine the ending of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, but instead of likable outlaws Butch and Sundance were sadists who raped and murdered everyone they came across. Steer clear of this film unless you're training to be a serial killer, and even then you should probably just avoid The Devil's Rejects and go for something a little more worthwhile like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Everything Is Illuminated
Elijah Wood plays Jonathan, a collector. What that means is that he collects things to preserve memories of his life and the lives of those around him. In an attempt to find out as much as possible about his grandfather, from whose life he's managed to collect next to nothing, Jonathan ventures from his home in America to Germany. It is there that he hopes to track down the Ukranian woman who helped his Jewish grandfather escape the Nazis during World War II. Everything Is Illuminated marks the directorial debut of actor Liev Schreiber and is based upon the book of the same name. It is an incredibly emotional story that I found to be told in a very remarkable way. Aiding Jonathan in his search are a young German raver named Alex and his grandfather. The language and customary barriers between Jonathan and his cohorts are at the same time very humorous and essential to the emotional progression of the plot. Due to an inability to properly communicate at many points throughout the movie, simple looks or facial expressions from Alex, his grandfather, and Jonathan translate complex silent exchanges between the characters. In fact, silence, or at least a lack of dialogue mixed with the perfect music for a given scene, is a very important part of Everything Is Illuminated and in this way it reminded me a lot of the works of Wes Anderson. Through the superb acting and excellent storytelling I found that I was able to be very moved by a story that I had no prior understanding of or attachment to. This is a very promising start to Liev Schreiber's directorial career.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Considering that musicals aren't really my thing, it's not hard to decipher that my reason for wanting to see Sweeney Todd was Tim Burton. While not one of my favorite directors, Burton has made some classic films and has a magnificent ability to craft fairy tale-esque movies that don't require the viewer to take them one hundred percent seriously. Such is the reason that Sweeney Todd succeeds in providing more than adequate entertainment despite it's peculiar narrative style. Based upon the stage play of the same name, this Sweeney Todd tells the story of a barber (Johnny Depp) who disappears after being wronged by a judge and his subordinates and returns somewhere in the vicinity of a decade later to take his revenge by slitting the throats of his enemies with a straight razor. Along the way, Todd and his new associate Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter) discover that they can make a rather decent living by cooking his victims into meat pies and selling them to the unsuspecting townsfolk. An incredibly dark comedy, the horrors of Sweeney Todd are offset by the fact that most of the dialogue is sung along to some genuinely catchy tunes, which gives the goings-on a certain sense of innocence. There is a surprising amount of blood in Sweeney Todd, but not so much that any modern, desensitized youth shouldn't be able to stomach it, and if you can too you're in for a fun movie-going experience that should leave you humming a tune.

WIBW's Top 10 Most Suspenseful Cinematic Moments

2008-01-21T20:26:00.000-05:00

Over at the movie news/review site Film Junk, the hosts of the Film Junk Podcast run down a weekly list of top fives. The lists change every week and can involve anything from favorite onscreen death scenes to favorite movie one-liners. Recently I sent in a number of suggestions for possible future top five lists to discuss on the podcast, one of which was "top 5 most suspenseful movie scenes". This week, on episode #152 of the podcast, hosts Sean, Jay, and Greg ran down their personal selections for this category, so I figured that I'd throw my hat into the ring as well. The following are my personal choices for The Top 10 Most Suspenseful Moments In Cinema:

10. Arachnophobia
I realize that naming this film is sort of silly considering that it's as much a comedy as it is a thriller, but spiders and I don't get along very well in real life, so certain parts of this movie manage to get under my skin. When Jeff Daniels is trapped in the dank basement of an old house that's overflowing with spiders and the biggest one of all is on a mission to do him deliberate physical harm, I get quite antsy. Having seen this again recently I think that the effects hold up rather well, so I still get pretty tense during the climax of the film.

9. King Kong
Peter Jackson's 2005 remake of the monster movie classic King Kong divided audiences with it's excessive running time and sometimes preposterous story elements, but I think that one thing almost everyone who saw it (including myself) would agree on is that it isn't a frightening film. Still, there is a scene which makes my heart jump into my throat with anticipation every time I see it. The scene in question takes place on Skull Island when the crew of Jack Black's ship are searching for Naomi Watts' character and end up in a cavern filled with swarms of over-sized bugs. King Kong may be rated PG-13, but in this scene Peter Jackson's R rated horror background surfaces as the music drops to a foreboding hum, the sound seems to be overcome with the clicking and buzzing of the massive insects, and one by one the crew members are overwhelmed by grotesque creepy crawlies. The worst, by far, is when one poor soul's head is engulfed in the gaping maw of a maggot-like creature twice his size. Disgusting.

8. Alien
There are plenty of intense moments in Ridley Scott's classic science fiction horror film to choose from when composing a list like this one, but for my money the most hair-raisingly suspenseful of all is when Tom Skerritt is hunting for the title creature in the air ducts. He's all alone in a confined space looking for a monster we know nothing about and which we've only just begun to see the destructive capabilities of, and then the tracking unit which shows the creature's location begins to malfunction. The music slowly drops out leaving behind only ambient noise and if only the scene weren't so enthralling, everyone would probably have seen the big scare coming, but of course nobody ever does, which is why it's so perfect.

7. Blood Simple
Look up the term "dark comedy" and you will inevitably find a reference to Fargo, the Coen Brothers' classic crime thriller. Several years before they made that film however, the brothers Coen committed a similar tale to film with significantly more "dark" than "comedy". The tension begins with a view through a sniper scope from across the street aimed toward a set of large windows leading into an apartment and Frances McDormand trying desperately to turn off the lights without stepping into the view of her attacker. Then things get worse when the shooter crosses the street and enters the studio apartment, inciting a rather brief, but intense and gleefully original game of cat and mouse. The first time I watched Blood Simple I couldn't help but laugh during this climactic scene because I needed some way to vent the pressure building up in my chest as I wondered what the hell the outcome would be.

6. John Carpenter's The Thing
The premise of this film alone is enough to earn it a place in this list, but the true height of the suspense in The Thing is the blood test sequence. An alien life-form capable of perfectly assimilating any living thing right down to their looks and speech patterns has replaced an unknown number of the twelve members of an antarctic research team cut off entirely from civilization for an unknown amount of time. The only way to find out who is human and who isn't is for a sample of each of the remaining crew members' blood to be tested. One by one, Kurt Russell places a hot piece of wire into each petri dish full of blood, and I would wager that nobody who has ever seen this movie was able to guess what the outcome would be.

5. The Fly
David Cronenberg's film is rather eerie for the entire ninety five minute running time, but the whole movie is essentially just one huge build-up to the last ten minutes or so when something truly horrifying finally happens. John Getz (the would be hero) is crippled, Geena Davis is helpless, and the Brudle Fly in his various forms is shambling around to some of the most overtly intense music of any movie I've ever seen. The perfect cap to the scene, as well as the movie in general, is that we get no wind down period. Cronenberg slaps the audience in the face with the first fast-paced action of the entire film and then ends it before you have a chance to process what's happened.

4. The Mist
The tension of this film begins to build right off the bat when about five or ten minutes into the story a cloud of mysterious mist floats into town, obscuring everything more than ten feet in front of the characters' faces. Next comes a series of scenes involving some of the most disturbing creatures ever committed to film as they terrorize a small group of people trapped in a grocery store. Things begin to mount further as a completely irrational and psychopathic religious woman played by Marcia Gay Harden begins turning the occupants of the store against one another. Finally, the tension begins to boil over when Harden orders her mindless followers to capture a young boy so that they may kill and sacrifice him to god in exchange for protection. Combine a completely despicable villain with a scene of pure hopelessness as a paltry group of rational individuals try to fend off a horde of blood thirsty nut-jobs and an elephant tranquilizer couldn't have calmed me down as I watched this scene for the first time.

3. Rear Window
I'm not sure which scene is more suspenseful, so I'll cheat and list two of them. The first is when Grace Kelly is trapped inside Raymond Burr's apartment when he the suspected murderer arrives to discover her intruding in his home. Meanwhile Jimmy Stewart desperately attempts to contact the police when the lights in Burr's windows across the courtyard suddenly go out. The second is the climax of the film when Burr is closing in on the wheelchair-ridden Stewart who tries to stall his attacker's approach by repeatedly blinding him with flash bulbs. They don't call Alfred Hitchcock the master of suspense for nothing.

2. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
The first time I ever saw this movie was last summer and though I'd heard a lot about it, I honestly had no idea what the outcome of the final showdown between Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, and Eli Wallach was going to be. Sergio Leone draws out the tension with close-ups of three sets of squinting eyes and hands hovering over holsters with intense music pplaying for an almost infuriatingly long amount of time before the three title characters finally draw their weapons and fire. I was almost literally on the edge of my seat at this point wondering who had been shot and who had done the shooting.

1. Saving Private Ryan
During the final conflict of Saving Private Ryan, Adam Goldberg is out of ammunition and ends up in a fight with a German wielding a knife while that cowardly bastard Jeremy Davies hides in the stairway, too afraid to do anything to help. No matter how many times I watch this scene my heart races like mad because I want Goldberg to come out victorious even though I know that he won't. The death of this nice, funny guy who you've grown to like over the course of the film goes on seemingly forever while the German taunts him like an adult holding a cookie just out of a starving child's reach. I fucking hate that scene.

Honorable Mentions:

- The car chase sequence in Quentin Tarantino's half of Grind House as Zoe Bell clings to the hood of a car driven by Tracie Thoms while the maniacal Kurt Russell repeatedly rams into them and tries to run their car off the road.

- A moment in The Descent when one of the female spelunkers is trapped in a tiny crevasse, unable to free herself and in a place where rescue is essentially impossible. I have no fear of confined spaces, but the idea of being in such a hopeless situation makes my skin crawl.

- The climax of The Silence of the Lambs when Jodie Foster is exploring the inside of a pitch black home while, unbeknownst to her, a murderer is lurking right behind her wearing a pair of night vision goggles.

- The torture scene at the end of Takashi Miike's Audition in which an obsessive and psychopathic young woman does a series of horrifying things to a man who is conscious, but paralyzed by a drug he has been injected with. As suspenseful and intense as this scene is though, the similar instances in Takashi Miike's episode of Masters of Horror titled Imprint are perhaps even worse.

Feel free to leave feedback on my choices or some selections of your own in the comments section of this post. Also, don't forget to stop by Film Junk and give their weekly podcast a listen.

WIBW @ The Movies: NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS

2008-01-19T23:58:00.000-05:00

The Plot: Nicolas Cage reprises the role of treasure hunter Ben Gates, this time around in search of a "city of gold". When a man named Mitch Wilkinson (Ed Harris) comes forward with a scrap of paper, reputedly from the diary of John Wilkes Booth, and claims that Gates' great grandfather had a hand in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, the adventurer sets off on a course to prove these accusations false. In order to do so he must re-team with his father (Jon Voight), his computer hacking friend (Justin Bartha), and his ex (Diane Kruger), as well as his mother (Helen Mirren) to locate and prove the existence of a fortune in gold that is only rumored to exist.

The Review: I remember a time when Nicolas Cage could act with some degree of believability and grace, but those days were long gone even before the first National Treasure was released in 2004. Needless to say, Cage smarms up the screen with his token half-grins, mumbling, monotone line deliveries, and insincere character acting. Joining in alongside his soul-less performance is a cast of one dimensional characters who couldn't have acted out a more absurd and boring series of events if their lives depended on it:

- Justin Bartha once again plays the comic relief/computer hacker whose jokes could have been (and in fact most likely were) written by a four year old child.

- Diane Kruger's role is perhaps the most believable in the sense that she spends part of the movie trying to avoid Cage's character, but eventually slips into a predictable character arc as the girl who will fall back in love with the lead by the time all of the action is over.

- Ed Harris is the villain with a heart of gold who eventually sacrifices himself to save the heroes and make the scriptwriting process easier for whoever ends up with the unenviable job of penning the inevitable sequel to this piece of cash-grabbing garbage.

- Jon Voight is the previous generation's version of Nic Cage's character whose sole purpose in the film aside from offering emotional support to the cause seemed to be inducing a few laughs from the less intelligent members of the audience by pretending not to know how to receive pictures on a cell phone due to his age.

- Helen Mirren is a newcomer to this film who was obviously included to provide an easy out for the already established characters when they needed some hieroglyphics translated, and also served to make Jon Voight's character even more stereotypical with a "lost love" arc of his very own.

- Harvey Keitel's immense talent is wasted even more than Voight and Harris' in Book of Secrets as a character who was important in the previous film, but seemed to have absolutely no purpose this time around, begging the question, "What the hell did he even come back to reprise his role for?"

Throughout the course of National Treasure: Book of Secrets the viewer is forced to suspend their disbelief to the extent that even a fan of high-concept science fiction films such as myself was perplexed by how anyone could possibly accept the series of events being presented to them by director Jon Turteltaub, producer Jerry Bruckheimer, and company. Every single member of the cast seems to have a background in street racing. The computer whiz character can hack into even the most complex and high-tech government security systems by linking a series of iPods, cell phones, and digital cameras together in a bathroom stall. Every single piece of art, furniture, and architecture ever built seems to have a hidden doorway, a secret compartment, or an ancient inscription written in a long dead language which can be deciphered by showing a cell phone camera photograph of it to a relative of one of the main characters. The contents of the film aside, the way that it mindlessly jumps from scene to scene left me wondering how many hours of footage was left on the cutting room floor which could have served to flesh Book of Secrets out into a film with a normal, believable pace.

I fully understand that the draw behind the National Treasure films for some people is their supposed connections to actual historical events, but when a movie expects me to believe that ancient Olmec tribes built a city made entirely of gold inside the site where Mount Rushmore was eventually erected and nobody but the President of the United States knows about it because of a top secret book that he has hidden in a trap door in the Library of Congress, it loses any connection with reality that it may have once possessed and becomes a colossal farce. National Treasure: Book of Secrets and it's predecessor are nothing more than watered down Indiana Jones films that try to seem cool and topical by tying into the "real" history of our country.

The Verdict: With acting so bad that it makes me want to punch myself in the brain just thinking about it, a story that an elementary school child wouldn't find the slightest bit believable, and thrills so cheap that Jon Turteltaub shouldn't be able to give them away, National Treasure: Book of Secrets is exactly the opposite of anything that I would ever recommend to anyone. For shame Jerry Bruckheimer. For shame.

WIBW @ The Movies: CLOVERFIELD

2008-01-19T22:39:00.000-05:00

The Plot: Filmed entirely as though shot with a personal handheld camera operated by a civilian, Cloverfield tells the story of a group of friends living in New York when the city is attacked by a giant monster. With little time to spare, this small group of individuals makes their way across the city on foot in an attempt to rescue one of their friends on the other side of town. Meanwhile, the government has taken to the streets in an attempt to stop the rampaging beast of unknown origin.

The Review: With the hype surrounding Cloverfield so high, I'm surprised that it was able to live up to the expectations held by the majority of those who have seen it, including myself. Everyone is familiar with "giant monster" movies such as Godzilla and King Kong, but what sets Cloverfield apart from all of those other films is it's focus, which falls on a group of people completely disconnected from the situation at hand. Usually the main characters of disaster films such as this are people integral to the diffusion of the situation such as scientists or army personnel, but such is not the case with Cloverfield, and that accounts for the majority of the success of the movie. All stereotypes surrounding the genre are thrown out the window in exchange for a very human portrayal of the events during a disaster. As such, the characters become the focus rather than the horrible events they are living through.

My main hesitation going into viewing Cloverfield was the fact that the entire film is portrayed as though filmed by an amateur with a common handheld camera. "Shaky cam" has become a bit of a stereotype in itself these days, often over-used by directors wishing to add intensity to their action scenes or to hide inconsistencies in them. Luckily, instead of dredging up memories of the spastic camera operation in films such as X-Men, the Bourne series, and Transformers, the point of view in Cloverfield serves only to draw the viewer further into the story than most movies can manage. Instead of lingering on long, smooth aerial shots of the film's antagonist destroying beloved landmarks, almost the entire film is shot from the street level, allowing the audience only a glimpse here or there of the monster as though they were really onsite, experiencing the situation for themselves. Also, the fact that the camera is at all times in the possession of the film's main characters keeps the focus squarely on them and their plight. Add to this that the camera operator whose commentary we are constantly privy to is the most likable character in the film (and perhaps the most likable character of any movie ever), and all of my worries about the success of the camera choices made by the filmmakers were for naught.

As a huge fan of monster movies, the biggest draw of Cloverfield for me was the creature responsible for the mayhem which ensues onscreen. Taking a cue from the original Alien, Cloverfield's filmmakers obviously agree with the notion that the less you see of something, the more frightening it is. Employing the camera tricks which I mentioned previously to keep the audience from seeing too much of the movie's monster too soon greatly upped the intensity and my interest in the film. By rarely giving viewers a clear look at what is attacking New York City, the mind is left to make it's own assumptions, which greatly increases the suspense of the film. Despite my extreme desire to know what it looked like, when we are finally given a clear shot of the creature toward the end of the film I couldn't help but think that the it might have worked even better had we never gotten even that good of a look at it. That's how powerful the mystery and suspense of Cloverfield are which, combined with the surprisingly great ability of the entire cast to come across as real people in a candid situation, makes for a viewing experience that I won't soon forget.

The Verdict: Science fiction is at it's most horrific when questions are raised to which there are not any logical or readily available answers, which is a concept that Cloverfield takes to heart. This film takes a genre with a history steeped in laughably bad films and puts a very unique twist on it that completely revitalizes the "giant monster" movie. For fans of monster movies, thrillers, action-packed extravaganzas, and disaster flicks, it doesn't get much better than Cloverfield.

WIBW @ The Movies: JUNO

2008-01-17T06:29:00.000-05:00

The Plot: When a modern high school girl named Juno (Ellen Page) discovers that she is pregnant after having sex for the first time, she can't bring herself to have an abortion, but also isn't ready to be a mother. Instead, she opts to give the baby to a couple named Mark and Vanessa Loring (Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner). The film follows the events of the next nine months as Juno experiences the highs and lows of her pregnancy and looks toward her future.

The Review: My initial interest in Juno came from the involvement of both Jason Bateman and Michael Cera in the project. I've been following the careers of both actors since I caught up with the TV show Arrested Development on DVD and was anticipating the reunion of these two comedic geniuses. Unfortunately they didn't have any scenes together, but both Cera and Bateman brought their A games to this film. In fact, every single actor and actress in Juno was exceptional.

Jennifer Garner delivered a performance which actually impressed me for the first time in her career. It's as though she had some sort of real life connection to the role of the woman desperate to be a mother, but unable to have a child of her own. I've never seen her so convincing before. J.K. Simmons and Allison Janney were wonderful as Juno's parents. Both were incredibly likable while maintaining a very genuine feeling to their characters. Michael Cera was funny (seemingly without trying) in several scenes, but his ability to pull of the heavy dramatic moments in this film are what really stood out to me about his performance. He's officially proven to me that he can fit into genres other than comedy. Jason Bateman pulled off a primarily serious role in Juno much like Michael Cera, and managed to impress me as well with his range. Finally there is Ellen Page as the title character. Aside from her brief stint as Kitty Pride in X-Men: The Last Stand, Juno was my first time seeing Ellen Page in action. She did a fine job of carrying the film and was very believable as a high school girl dealing with such a heavy situation. The only real problems I had with her performance were some of the lines she had to deliver, but that's all due to the writing. Honestly, the entire primary cast was phenomenal.

Juno is the follow-up effort from director (and son of Ivan Reitman) Jason Reitman, who previously impressed me with his film Thank You For Smoking. The direction of the film was on par with the excellent acting, as was the indie music-laden score. The only real problems I had with Juno are due to the writing. For most of the film the dialogue is believable yet witty, however the first few scenes had me worried that I was in for an hour and a half of catch phrases. The conversation between Juno and the convenience store clerk at the beginning of the movie led me to believe that they were best friends as they bantered back and forth about the extremely personal subject of teen pregnancy, but the clerk never again appears in the film. This scene's dialogue felt very unnatural. Very similar to that instance, in the scene in which Juno first tells her best friend that she is pregnant over the phone, the fake, overly-hip dialogue was thick enough to walk on. Past these few moments the dialogue was much easier to stomach. The only other thing that bugged me about Juno was the way that the title character acted mature well beyond her age range at some points. These instances were essentially countered by a few scenes which drew Juno back into her place as a high school student, but some line deliveries felt really forced coming out of the mouth of a supposed sixteen year old.

The Verdict: The comedy and drama in Juno meshed together well, the story was overall believable and relatable for anyone who has ever endured a hardship, and there are several laughs for good measure. The quality of the acting in this film alone is reason enough to see it, but there's certainly more to it than that for (I assume) just about any audience.

Netflix Rapid Fire Reviews - December '07

2008-01-16T02:09:00.000-05:00

Paris Je T'aime
A movie comprised of twenty short films by the likes of Joel and Ethan Coen, Wes Craven, Alfonso Cuaron, Vincenzo Natali, and Gus Van Sant sounds like something that should be right up my alley. Unfortunately, I found Paris Je T'aime to be less than stunning. I fully expected to come away from this film with a few set lists of which shorts I loved, which I only just liked, and which I didn't find at all enjoyable, but instead I walked away having not been particularly impressed by any of them. Sure, some were better than others, but all in all I found Paris Je T'aime to be a rather sub-par experience. Movies can be good and movies can be bad, but one of the worst things that a movie can be is forgettable.

C.H.U.D.
C.H.U.D. (or Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers) is a classic example of eighties low-budget filmmaking. Rubber monster suits, bad acting, over-the-top scenarios, and heinous editing plague this movie, but unlike most films of this era and production value, C.H.U.D. actually has a fairly decent story. The general concept is that some greedy public servants have been storing toxic waste under the streets of New York City which has taken on the curious side effect of turning homeless people who reside in the sewers into angry, mutated freaks. The real problem with C.H.U.D. is a lack of focus. Scenes happen that have no real reason to and end up not effecting a single thing in the story. For example, there's a scene in which a woman is sprayed with blood that comes shooting out of her shower drain, but in the next scene she seems to have completely forgotten about it and just gone about her day. On the surface C.H.U.D. sounds quite dumb, and it may well be, but with the proper budget for some decent effects and a couple of worthwhile actors, this could have been a horror movie classic.

The Last Man On Earth
It has often been said that George Romero borrowed heavily from The Last Man On Earth while crafting his horror classic Night of the Living Dead, and having now seen both movies, I can back up that statement one hundred percent. The first film based upon the book which also inspired both The Omega Man and I Am Legend, The Last Man On Earth is considered by some to be the first zombie movie. While Vincent Price's character refers to the creatures in the film as vampires, they are actually more similar to their undead counterparts than any relative of Count Dracula's. Prince spends his nights hiding from the nocturnal monsters and goes outside during the day to gather supplies and kill his then-slumbering enemies. The film plods along a bit slowly and Price's acting is campy to say the least, but considering the time that it was made, The Last Man On Earth is a rather successful film. If nothing else, I didn't see the twist coming at all and I respect the filmmakers for going with such a dark ending.

Panic In Year Zero
Imagine if the stereotypical, middle american, corn-fed 1950's family (a la the Cleavers) were on a car trip to the mountains for the weekend when their hometown was attacked by nuclear bombs and you should have a good idea of what Panic In Year Zero is like. An average family is forced to resort to extreme measures to survive in the wake of a nuclear disaster as society crumbles around them. Simply put, this is one of the campiest films I have ever seen, and if it hadn't been included on the same disc as The Last Man On Earth when I rented it, I probably never would have watched it, much less heard of it. All taken into account, for all of the uber-cheesy moments and scenarios Panic In Year Zero provides, it was entertaining to see how people viewed nuclear war and it's effects at the time when it was made. A film like this could never be made these days, which makes it a completely unique viewing experience for anyone who was born well after it's release like myself.

Funny Games (1998)
A German family (mother, father, and son) retreat to their vacation home only to be attacked and tortured by a pair of young men who seemingly have no motive whatsoever to their actions. In the wake of recent films such as Saw, Hostel, and Touristas, many people have taken to using the phrase "torture porn" to describe this new genre of violent, shock-value driven movies. While Funny Games certainly fits within this label, it came out in 1998, well before the genre truly began to emerge as an ever-growing fad. The intensity of Funny Games doesn't come so much from blood and guts like those newer films, but more from the insanity of the situation at hand. The antagonists of the film don't seem to function like normal human beings and appear to have no remorse or weaknesses whatsoever, making them perhaps the most painfully evil villains I've ever seen in a movie. The film isn't magnificent, but if I had to pick it's biggest downfall, it would be that one of the characters breaks the fourth wall multiple times during the film, stepping outside of the boundaries of reality as set up over the course of the plot. These instances are distracting, confusing, and just plain unnecessary. If you're into "torture porn", track down a copy of the hard to come by Funny Games and delight to the suffering of your fellow man.

Silent Running
In the distant future, the Earth has become a wasteland where no plants or animals can possibly survive. In an attempt to preserve the planet's flora and fauna, several artificial forests are kept in large domes attached to a group of spaceships which are floating around the universe waiting for the day that Earth is deemed habitable again. With the project's budget growing thin, the decision is finally passed down to abandon the forests, blowing them up in space and returning their desperately needed ships to be used for another cause. Unable to accept this inevitability, a single astronaut defies his orders and kidnaps the last remaining forest, rocketing off into space unwilling to let Earth's legacy die. I absolutely love the concept of this film. It's only real drawback is that it was filmed in the early seventies, resulting in some extremely outdated visual effects and technology. As such, while I quite liked the film, this is a rare case in which I would actually like to see a remake. At the same time though, I know that if my wish were to come true, Silent Running would transform from a thoughtful, dramatic bit of science fiction into an action-packed interstellar chase scene.

Goodfellas
Ray Liotta, Robert DeNiro, and Joe Pesci play mobsters in a film directed by Martin Scorcese. Need I say more? Just as was the case with Scorcese's film Casino, every single thing about Goodfellas is excellent, so I don't even know where to begin my review. Suffice to say that at two and a half hours, Goodfellas is a movie that you have to be in a certain mood to watch, but when you do it is a singularly fantastic experience. I've never been much of a fan of mobster movies, but Scorcese has obviously gotten the formula down to a science. This film is full of rich characters, memorable scenes, and amazing directing and editing, along with Scorcese's patented music cues, montages, and voice-overs. Ray Liotta tends to be hit or miss, but as Goodfellas undeniably proves, when he hits, he hits hard. Pesci and DeNiro are spot on as always, and the rest of the cast is filled with amazing talent, including a blink-and-you'll-miss-him cameo by Samuel L. Jackson. It doesn't get much better than this, folks.

The Brood
One of the earlier films in writer/director David Cronenberg's career, The Brood is obviously a stepping stone toward his later masterpieces, but it shows that at the time (the late 70's) he had some room for improvement. The Brood involves a high-concept that practically oozes the name Cronenberg. A new form of therapy called Psychoplasmics has been discovered by an eccentric doctor which allows troubled individuals to cure themselves by expelling their inner problems as physical manifestations. For one such woman who was abused as a child and hides strong inner turmoil, her mental pain is manifested in the form of demonic children whom she births in a truly shocking and horrifying manner (which is the highlight of the film when it is revealed). Her ex-husband must combat these demon children and the woman's possessive doctor to save their child from her misdirected wrath. The Brood suffers more in the writing department than anything, remaining just slow and confusing enough at times to make the viewer squirm on the edge of boredom. Things pick up dramatically at the end of the film though, leading to a truly memorable confrontation with the demon children and their sick mother. A true sci-fi/horror fan will appreciate the originality and disturbing nature of the film's concept, but I certainly wouldn't recommend The Brood to everyone.

Robot Jox
In the future, wars aren't fought on battle fields, they're fought on giant outdoor sports arenas. Battles aren't fought by armies of men, but instead by giant robotic battle suits piloted by Robot Jox. In this film we follow a famous robot pilot by the name of Achilles as he battles for his country against his arch rival Alexander. Robot Jox is by no means a masterpiece, but as a child of the pre-CG era of action and sci-fi movies, I couldn't help but smile with glee as director Stuart Gordon employed every hands-on special effect at his disposal to make the film's giant robots come alive onscreen. Miniatures, forced perspective, green screen, and stop motion animation were the driving forces behind my enjoyment of this film, but the laughable acting and it's overtly late eighties/early nineties qualities certainly helped. The average movie-goer most likely won't find anything remotely redeeming about Robot Jox, but watching it for me was one of those oh-so-sweet moments of "it's so bad, it's good."

High Plains Drifter
The plot description for High Plains Drifter on Netflix reads, "Amid shoot-outs and existentialism, a mysterious stranger is hired to protect a small town from outlaws. But his recipe for defense could be a deal with the devil..." Unfortunately I took this statement seriously and was very disappointed to find that there is nothing at all supernatural about the film. It's got Clint Eastwood in it though, so it can't be that bad, right? Well, it really can. Maybe I would feel differently if I hadn't had the misconception about the movie that I did going in, but either way this film starts out pretty good but quickly devolves into a long, boring drag right up until the silly ending. Clint Eastwood's acting was essentially spot on as usual, but the story was weak and the directing didn't really do anything for me either. Maybe I've been spoiled by Sergio Leone films and perhaps Clint Eastwood just hadn't grown much as a director before helming this movie, but any way you cut it, I was not a fan of High Plains Drifter.

Miller's Crossing
I've said it before and I'll say it again: the Coen Brothers are hit or miss for me. Some of their movies are among my favorites of all time and some of them I wouldn't watch again if someone paid me to (okay, well maybe in that case...). Miller's Crossing falls somewhere in between those two extremes, but slightly more on the side of the latter. There isn't a single bad performance to critique, the directing is interesting and snappy, and there are some truly brilliant moments in this film, but I still managed to be rather bored by it. Don't worry; I'm as perplexed by writing that statement as you undoubtedly are reading it. I suppose the only remaining culprit that could possibly have soured me on the film is the story, which I honestly don't even remember that well just a short time after watching it, so I guess that's what is to blame. As I said, there were some entertaining scenes and moments, but the plot threads that were supposed to hold it all together didn't really rope me in, I guess. I did have a blast watching Sam Raimi (director of The Evil Dead and Spiderman) get mowed down by a comical amount of tommy gun fire, though.

The Bride of Re-Animator
The original Re-Animator is a diamond in the rough among the hordes of cheesy B horror movies produced throughout the past three decades, so it pains me to say that this, it's first sequel, doesn't come close to carrying the torch. Taking over from the original film's director, Brian Yuzna and the writers of The Bride of Re-Animator essentially seem to have tried to re-make the first film for fear of upsetting fans by straying too far from the previous story. I have no idea if this is true, but this movie just seemed too damn similar to The Re-Animator. It also got a little too ridiculous for my taste. I understand that this may sound odd considering that we're talking about a movie in which a mad scientist brings dead people back to life, but when the decapitated head of the villain from the first film is brought back with bat wings sewn to the sides of his face and begins to fly around smacking into the main character, I stop giving a damn about what I'm watching. If possible the acting seems to have gotten worse since the first go-round as well. In all regards The Bride of Re-Animator is simply a shadow of the former glory that the first film brought to the series.

Beyond Re-Animator
Much like The Bride of Re-Animator, Beyond Re-Animator almost doesn't deserve to share the same name as the first film in this series, however I managed to enjoy it a little more than it's precursor. This time around Dr. Herbert West is placed in prison for the murder of a young woman by one of his undead subjects. Many years later a recent med school graduate is hired as the new staff doctor at the same prison and gets mixed up with Dr. West and his crazy experiments, which he's continued for years in secret within his jail cell. CG effects are introduced to the franchise with this film, but in such a way that they surprisingly manage to help the look of the film rather than hinder it. The real problem with this film is that it was filmed in Barcelona, Spain, which the filmmakers tried and miserably failed to pass off as the American midwest. Aside from the two main characters of the film, none of the cast could speak passable English, so the majority of the dialogue was horribly dubbed, making the movie more of a laughing stock than it already was. Even with the terrible dubbing, the semi-original story and new setting actually places this film slightly higher than The Bride of Re-Animator in my opinion, but not by much.

Psycho (1998)
I'm sure I'll get some shit for this one. As much as I'm sure that everyone is familiar with Alfred Hitchcock's classic suspense thriller Psycho, I have to imagine that everyone is equally aware of director Gus Van Sant's critically annihilated shot-for-shot remake. As the phrase "shot-for-shot" suggests, Van Sant's 1998 version of the film is more of a plagiarism than a remake as very little about it was actually "remade". Just as in the original Psycho, a bank employee makes off with an investor's money to begin a new life with her boyfriend, but goes missing shortly after checking into the Bates Motel. Multiple people forbade me from ever seeing this film, but my sheer curiosity as to how Vince Vaughn could even begin to attempt to pull off the role of a cross-dressing murderer drew me in and I found myself watching what I believe is one of the most unanimously hated movies of all time. What did I think of it, then? It wasn't all that bad. I think that the main thing that Gus Van Sant did wrong had nothing to do with how he shot the movie or who he cast in it, and everything to do with the fact that he tried to remake something which so many people viewed as a case of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". The remake of Psycho could have been the best movie ever made, but the majority of people would still have hated it because it wasn't the original Hitchcock film. Fortunately for me, I don't hold the original Psycho in a particularly high regard among Hitchy's collection of screen gems, so I was able to look at Van Sant's version with an essentially clear palette. The directing suffered somewhat from Gus' insistence upon following so closely to Hitchcock's original, but was overall not bad. The soundtrack and story stayed essentially the same, which was fine by me, though I still had the same problems with the film's ending that I had with the original (namely the "here's where we explain the plot for all of the idiots who didn't get it" scene following the climax). As this was a remake, these problems with the film should have been fixed, but once again Van Sant was too busy trying to make a veritable duplicate of the 60's Psycho to dare to improve upon it at all. William H. Macy was as good as he ever is (which is great) and Viggo Mortensen and Julianne Moore were okay in their roles. Anne Heche was wasn't bad, but I would have preferred a different actress based on the idea that her character was supposed to be a beautiful young woman (burn!). And finally, Vince Vaughn? I thought he made a pretty good Norman Bates. His haircut alone was enough to scare me.

Police Story
Inspector Chan single-handedly arrests a high-powered drug lord, but due to a series of slight legalities, he manages to get off the hook. With the recently freed drug lord and his henchmen after him at every turn, Chan must now rescue his informant, save his relationship with his girlfriend, and find the proof he needs to put the criminal away for life, all while saving his own neck. Jackie Chan is famous for his incredible stunts and fight choreography, but of all of his films that I've seen, this one has the most amazing action of all. Sure the plot is kind of weak, but the fight scenes more than make up for the movie's poor writing. The main scene that comes to mind when I think of Police Story is the climactic hand-to-hand battle between Chan and a gang of henchmen in a shopping mall. For about seven straight minutes I couldn't close my jaw as it hung open in awe of the action taking place onscreen. In my youth I recall having a blast watching Jackie Chan's antics in poorly dubbed action movies, but seeing not only his physical, but dramatic and comedic performances in Police Story gave me an all new respect for the man.

Grave of the Fireflies
After their town is struck by a bombing during World War II a Japanese brother and sister are left orphaned and homeless. This film follows the unfortunate pair through the weeks and months following the loss of their home and family in an unforgiving, war-torn countryside. After watching Grave of the Fireflies, I have one question: "Why was this an animated movie?" It is my feeling that a story this tragic and horrifying could have been told better in live action. I won't deny that amazing strides have been made in depicting emotions in animation over the years, and I love animated films as much as the next guy (if not more), but in my opinion this was not a story that was meant to be told in 2D. The animation was rather solid, but during extreme moments of emotion I just wasn't feeling the grief and depression that the characters were supposed to be going through. Add to this that the voice acting was far from perfect in many places, and I just couldn't take Grave of the Fireflies seriously a lot of the time. It's hard for me to rate this film because it had as many good things going for it story-wise as it had bad things going for it aesthetically. Grave of the Fireflies is not necessarily a movie that I'd readily recommend to most people, but it tells a story that I won't soon forget.

Police Story 2
Despite his outstanding results at catching criminals, Inspector Chan's unorthodox methods have gotten him demoted to a traffic cop. However, with his former nemesis on the loose once again and some new criminals blowing up buildings around town, the force has asked him to take up his old position to help them once again bring justice to their district. Police Story 2 has it's moments, but the simple fact is that it's not on quite the same level as it's predecessor. There are some good, original, entertaining action scenes as is the case with any Jackie Chan film, but none of them seem to be on the same level as the first Police Story. The biggest letdown for me was the fact that the climax of the film wasn't as much of a hand-to-hand masterpiece as the previous film. There seemed to be more stunt set-ups and less balls-out combat. Also, the fact that the ending took place inside of a fireworks factory, which cries out over-the-top stereotype, cheapened the experience a bit for me. Police Story 2 is a decent sequel and certainly better than a lot of the action films out there, but following up the original Police Story is not quite a task that this film was up to.

Mad Max
Max Rockatansky is a member of a police force in the not-too-distant future of the Australian outback. He chases down biker gangs and brings tough justice to an unruly society until one such gang claims the life of his partner and he decides to quit the force. After trekking to a distant location, Max's wife and child are run down and killed by bikers, which sends him on a rampage that won't stop until he gets revenge. I couldn't site any specific references, but over the years it seems like Mad Max is one of those movies that people tend to talk about as a classic, groundbreaking film. To those people I say "bullshit!" Mad Max was a disastrous mess of a film. It's horribly shot and even more heinously edited. It's as though someone found a jumble of film reels in the garbage and tried to see what they could piece together out of them, and Mad Max is what they came up with. The plot doesn't really even begin until Max's wife and child are murdered, and that doesn't happen until about the last half hour of the film. Up until then the pacing was atrocious and tough to sit through. The ending is the only good part of the movie, but as it comes at the end rather than the beginning or the middle, I wouldn't be surprised if most people who sat down to watch the movie didn't make it far enough to see it. Mad Max earns points for taking place in a dystopic future, having some pretty cool car crashes, introducing the world at large to Mel Gibson, and for leading the way for an outstanding improvement of a sequel, but that's about it.

The Gate
A pair of young boys manage to accidentally open a gateway to hell in their backyard, unleashing various demons and other unsightly creatures upon their home. With no parents at home for the weekend, only our two pre-pubescent heroes and an older sister/babysitter are left with the responsibility of closing the gate and trapping the demons in hell. The plot sounds like a great movie for a bunch of kids to watch during a sleep over, and that's just about the only audience that I can imagine finding any enjoyment in this film. A few impressive visuals aside (namely a melting telephone and some good stop motion and camera tricks), I was not only bored watching The Gate, but a little embarrassed. After all, the kids in the movie decide that by reciting the lyrics of a rock album they can seal the gate and save the Earth, and it turns out that they're right (sorry to ruin the ending for any potential pre-teen interested parties out there). There were some incredibly eighties outfits, phrases, hair styles, songs, and scenarios in The Gate to keep me occupied during some scenes, but through most of the film I found myself simply trying to imagine how the child actor who played the main character grew up to be Stephen Dorff.

What I've Been Watching in 2007: A Year In Review

2007-12-29T05:09:00.000-05:00

Of the hundreds of movies released in 2007, I saw a total of 25 films in the theater (one of which I saw twice). In addition to those, I rented 14 more 2007 movies, downloaded 7 others from the internet, and bought one new direct to DVD release this year. Overall that means that in 2007 I saw 47 of this year's numerous and varied films. While I have yet to see every movie that I wanted to this year and I've come nowhere close to seeing them all, it is customary among both film critics and the blogosphere in general to compile a list of the best and worst movies of the year, so that's just what I've done.

Without further ado, I give you the official What I've Been Watching's Best & Worst Films of 2007:

THE BEST OF 2007

10. Futurama: Bender's Big Score
This was not a theatrical release, which would probably count it out of the running for most peoples' "Best Of" list, but when you get right down to it, Bender's Big Score was simply better than most of the movies that actually played in theaters this year. I've been a fan of Futurama from it's days on syndicated television and ever since the show was cancelled after it's fourth year I have pined for more. Bender's Big Score not only brings back all of the characters that I loved from the show, but it continues Futurama's history of combining, beautiful visuals, hilarious laughs, and interesting concepts. It's like the show never went away.

9. 3:10 To Yuma
The western genre largely died out in the seventies, giving way to an insurgence of science fiction and action movies in the wake of films like Star Wars and Dirty Harry. With as little interest in cowboys as there seems to be in today's high tech world, when a western comes along these days that is as well-made, well-acted, and exciting as 3:10 To Yuma, the world tends to take notice. If you've heard a lot of people talking about how great 3:10 To Yuma is, there's a reason for it: because it's true.

8. Zodiac
David Fincher has been my favorite director for several years now, and there's a reason for that. Every time he directs a movie it is both thought-provoking, beautiful, and enthralling to watch. Even after a five year wait, Zodiac is no exception to this rule. Some movie-goers point their fingers readily at Zodiac's running time when asked why they didn't like the film, but my feeling is that if a story needs more than two hours to be told, who's to stop a movie from telling it properly? After all, it's not about how long a movie is, it's about the quality, and I'd be hard-pressed to name a Fincher film that didn't serve up plenty of it.

7. The Host
Simultaneously a heart wrenching drama, a bellow inducing comedy, and a fear inducing horror film, The Host quite literally has something for everyone. There are so many things to praise this film for that I hardly know where to begin. The design of the movie's monster is amazing, and while the special effects aren't always perfect, the intricacies of it's character will win you over immediately. The story is told magnificently, the visual style is nothing short of amazing, and the way it juggles so many different genres while remaining a solid piece of filmmaking are proof positive that The Host belongs on anyone's list of the best movies of 2007.

6. Ratatouille
Even the most generic and dull titles in Pixar's library of computer animated movies are still some of the best examples of the CG corner of the film industry, so when the story matches the incredible quality of the studio's patented amazing visuals, the recipe is one of success. Perhaps the best of all of Pixar's movies, and most definitely the best looking, Ratatouille is yet another triumph for not only the animation company, but writer/director Brad Bird. Full of laughs, drama, and suspense, Ratatouille is quite literally fun for the whole family.

5. Spiderman 3
Verbally pummeled by the masses and proclaimed an embarrassment to the franchise by millions of former fans, Spiderman 3 has been the subject of more debates in 2007 than perhaps any other single film. While I would agree that Spiderman 3 is a weaker film than both of the previous installments of the series, that by no means should suggest that it is a bad film. With just as much (if not more) action and laughs as Spiderman and Spiderman 2, the third episode of the current Spiderman trilogy is not a perfect film, but despite the few holes in it's plot it manages to far surpass the majority of the other films released this year...at least in my eyes.

4. Superbad
The reason that I loved Superbad so much has nothing to do with Judd Apatow or any of his previous successes and everything to do with it's story and it's stars. The script captures perfectly what a large percentage of high school males are like, right down to the filthy, degrading language that so many viewers were apparently turned off by. Translating the script into onscreen gold are two of the film industry's most promising up-and-coming comedic talents and a cavalcade of hilarious supporting characters. All of the specifics aside though, the reason that Superbad is among my favorite films of 2007 is that it made me laugh harder and more frequently than any movie has in a long, long time.

3. The Mist
Put simply, The Mist is a textbook example of what a horror and/or monster movie should be. Too many films in these genres these days rely on shock value, violence, and gore to get their audiences' attention, when they should be taking a page out of Stephen King's book (literally). Balancing the gore with suspense and the horror with drama, The Mist creates an atmosphere so unforgiving that one can easily forget that they're watching a movie. As a huge fan of monster movies, the sheer joy that I got out of watching the events of The Mist unfold cemented it's place in my list of the best films of 2007.

2. No Country For Old Men
The moment I heard that the writing and directing team behind Fargo and Blood Simple were producing a new crime drama, No Country For Old Men had already taken a few steps toward my best of 2007 list. Not only is this film excellently paced, superbly acted, masterfully directed, and flat-out gorgeous; it's also smart. There is something so rewarding about watching an intelligent film, especially in the crime genre, and No Country For Old Men delivers on this claim in spades. Movies like No Country For Old Men are what the feature film medium was invented for.

1. Grind House
I would have been sold after hearing Quentin Tarantino's name. Add all of the other names attached to this project and it's kind of hard to ignore it. I'm sure that I'll get flak from people for naming this the best film of 2007, considering that in reality it is actually two movies instead of one, but to those people I say, "I paid for one movie when I went to the theater to see Grind House." I've been asked numerous times by numerous people whether I preferred Death Proof or Planet Terror, but I say this as honestly and straight forward as I can: I liked them both equally. They are very different from one another and each have their own strengths and weaknesses, but all taken into account, they're just two halves of one incredible whole called Grind House and that's the way I will always think of this movie. For this reason, Grind House was my favorite film released in 2007.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

Disturbia

Hot Fuzz

I Am Legend

Rescue Dawn

Sweeney Todd

THE WORST OF 2007

10. Mr. Brooks
What I had hoped would be a thought-provoking look at the modern day serial killer instead turned into a stereotypical, overdone, flashy piece of crap. Demi Moore stunk up the screen and neither Dane Cook, Kevin Costner, nor William Hurt could do anything to save Mr. Brooks, nor did they particularly seem to want to.

9. The Number 23
Had this film not followed the "How To Pull Off A Twist Ending The Fight Club Way" handbook like every other suspense thriller these days seems to, The Number 23 could have been a great, intriguing film. Jim Carrey is great up until the ending, as is everything else about The Number 23, including the story. Unfortunately somewhere along the way a crucial decision involving the plot was apparently left in the hands of a moron with no ideas of his/her own.

8. Next
Strike one: Nicolas Cage is the star of this film. Strike two: Lee Tamahori directed it. Strike three: someone tried to adapt Philip K. Dick's short story The Golden Man into an action movie. There really isn't a single part of Next that could come close to redeeming it other than Jessica Biel's ass. It's kind of hard to focus on it when Nic Cage is in the room mumbling his way through a script as bad as this one, though.

7. Blades of Glory
Take two genuinely funny actors, get them together in a room with silly outfits on, and then bend over and literally shit the most generic script possible out of your ass for them to act out. What really makes a film worth watching is when it tries to achieve something new and interesting. With that in mind it's really no surprise that Blades of Glory was so terrible.

6. Vacancy
As is the case with literally every single one of the titles in my list of the worst films of 2007, Vacancy suffers most from the fact that it is nothing more than a cheap attempt at capitalizing on something similar that was popular once. There are at least twenty or thirty films about people being chased by murderers that are better than this one.

5. The Hills Have Eyes II
Who should we get to play the hardcore military personnel in our action/horror movie? The most unrealistically beautiful people we can find regardless of their ability to deliver an even remotely believable line of dialogue? Great idea! There's just nothing new here. I'm running out of things to say about these piece of shit movies. They're all the same, and THAT's the problem!

4. The Reaping
If you want to know why this movie is so bad, just watch it and count the stereotypes. If I knew you could make money selling unoriginal scripts like this to movie studios, I would just write one movie about a demonic child and print out fifty different copies with the characters' names changed on each one and make millions.

3. Pathfinder
Unlike several of the movies in my worst films of 2007 list, Pathfinder actually looked like it could have been a good film. Native Americans versus vikings in the dark ages? That could be good. Considering the quality of films like Braveheart and Apocalypto, there's no reason why I shouldn't have suspected prior to it's release that Pathfinder could have been a good movie. Of course, I didn't know who Karl Urban was at the time.

2. Ghost Rider
Nicolas Cage turns into a skeleton, catches on fire, and rides a motorcycle up the sides of skyscrapers brandishing a chain and a leather jacket to battle demons. Need I say more? Well, if you insist: it's directed by the guy responsible for Daredevil.

1. Shoot 'Em Up
I went into the screening of Shoot 'Em Up that I saw with really high expectations, and really, why shouldn't I have? We're talking about a movie starring Clive Owen as a guy who shoots tons of bad guys while protecting an infant from the evil Paul Giamatti. Really the only thing this movie needed to please me were good special effects and a passable story. Could the filmmakers be bothered to provide me with either of those things? Not a chance. The action looks terrible and the story is complete bullshit. I'd rather watch a movie with no plot than sit through that of Shoot 'Em Up again. With such a simple set of parameters to provide me, the consumer, with an enjoyable movie-going experience, the extraordinary cinematic failure of Shoot 'Em Up is simply insulting. Worst movie I saw in 2007, hands down.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

Shooter

The Simpsons Movie

Smokin' Aces

TMNT

Transformers

So there you have it. Everyone's list is bound to be different, so I'd love to hear how some other people would rank the movies they saw in 2007. Feel free to leave me a comment on this post to list off a few of your own personal best or worst films of the year or just to discuss some of my choices. Before you go berating me for leaving something crucial off of my lineup though, check out the following list which includes all of the films released in 2007 that I saw this year, but which didn't make it into either of my top tens.

Other 2007 Films that weren't the Best or Worst:

28 Weeks Later, 30 Days of Night, 300, 1408, Bee Movie, Black Sheep, Breach, Bug, The Condemned, Death Sentence, Fracture, Good Luck Chuck, Jackass 2.5, Knocked Up, Live Free or Die Hard, The Lookout, Sicko

***All of the information in this post is only accurate through December 31, 2007, after which time my opinions may change due to subsequent viewings.